Marriage and Family Fall Semester | Final Study Guide

features of healthy relationships

• respect

• honesty

• trust

• communication

• boundaries (physical, mental, emotional)

• equality

• support and encouragement

• separate identities

• safety

• enjoyment

features of unhealthy relationships

• mixed priorities

• exclusivity

• physicality

• unrealistic

• dishonesty

• authenticity

• substance abuse

• jealousy & fear

• controlling nature

• abuse

how was Eve a “suitable helper” for Adam?

• shared responsibility to express dominion, rule earth, create

• Eve was suitable to Adam in way no other creature was

• Eve was “alongside” Adam - taken from his side, not head/foot

• they share companionship, not only sexual union

• they are partners

• relational togetherness mirrored in and strengthened by sexual union

results of the Fall

• breakdown in human relationships

• martial strife enters

• breakdown in family relationships

• role reversal

• painful childbirth

how did the Fall affect primary sphere of responsibility for men?

by sweat of brow, will fight thorns and thistles to produce food

how did the Fall affect primary sphere of responsibility for women?

loving harmony in relationship to husband replaced by pattern of struggle where she seeks to exert control over him

ways God’s ideal for marriage compromised in Israel’s history

1. polygamy

2. divorce

3. adultery

4. homosexuality

5. sterility

polygamy

• violation of monogamy, adds to “one man and one woman”

• appears within 6 generations of Adam

divorce

breaks sacred bond between husband and wfie

adultery

• 7th commandment prohibits

• God’s character displays faithfulness

• Proverbs repeated warnings against adultery

homosexuality

• stands against “one man and one woman”

• cannot lead to procreation, procreation part of creation mandate

• unnatural and contrary to clearly revealed design of human bodies

sterility

• “fruitfulness” is a virtue in marriage to be sought after & viewed as blessing

• not always a conscious choice, is evidence of the “broken” function of creation as result of sin

• violates creation mandate

limitations of dating

1. leads to intimacy, but not necessarily commitment

2. tends to skip friendship, which should be the foundation of stable relationship

3. focuses on romantic attraction so it lasts as long as the romantic feelings remain

4. focuses on enjoying love and romance solely for their recreational value

5. often mistakes a physical relationship for love

6. often isolates a couple from other vital relationships, leaving important friendships in disrepair

7. takesa lot of time and energy which can distract young adults from primary responsibility of prepping for future

8. creates an artificial environment for evaluating another person’s character

four communication styles

1. passive

2. aggressive

3. passive-aggressive

4. assertive

passive

• don’t express honest feelings, desires, opinons

• defer to others’ opinions instead of voicing own

• “I don’t care,” “doesn’t matter to me”

• want to avoid conflict and may believe their rights are not as important as those of others

aggressive

• behaves opposite of passive

• demand their opinions, desires, needs, met even at expense of others’ rights

• rarely defer to others - sends message “what I want is more important than what you want”

passive-aggressive

• will forfeit their feelings and desires initially but then subtly convey vengeance later

• goal is to avoid conflict, but will then use tactics to make other party wish they had seen things their way

• typical pattern is to behave passively to person’s face then become more aggressive when person not around

assertive

• expresses their feelings, right, and desires without violating rights of others

• middle ground between passive and aggressive

• asking clearly and directly what you want, while being considerate to others