truvy steel magnolias lines!!!!

(Annelle) Oops, I see a hole.

(Annelle) Oops, I see a hole.

I was hoping you'd catch that.

(Annelle) It's a little poofier than I would normally do, but I'm nervous.

I'm not real concerned about that. When I go to bed I wrap my entire head in toilet tissue so it usually gets a little smushed down anyway in that process.

(Annelle) In my class at the tradde school, I was number one when it came to frosting and streaking. I did my own.

I can spot a bottle job at twenty paces. Well...your technique is good, and your form and content will improve with experience. So, you're hired!

(Annelle) Oh!

And not a moment too soon! This morning we're going to be as busy as a one armed paper hanger.

(Annelle) Thank you Miss Truvy! Thank you.

No time. Now. You know where the coffee stuff is. Everything else is on a tray next to the stove.

(Annelle) Here. Let me help you. You've got little tiny hairs and fuzzies all over you.

Honey, there's so much static electricity in here I pick up everything except boys and money. Be a treasure. Annelle. This is the most successful shop in town. Wanna know why?

(Annelle) Why?

Because I have a strict philosophy that I have stuck to for fifteen years..."There is no such thing as natural beauty." That's why I've never lost a client to the Kut and Kurl or the Beauty Box. And remember! My ladies get only the best. Do not scrimp on anything. Feel free to use as much hair spray as you want. Just shove that stuff to one side, it goes right there. Manicure station here.

(Annelle) There's no such thing as natural beauty...

Remember that, or we're all out of a job. Just look at me, Annelle. It takes some effort to look like this!

(Annelle) I can see that. How many ladies do we have this morning?

I restrict myself to the ladies of the neighborhood on Saturday mornings. Normally that would be just three but today we've got Shelby Eatenton. She's not a regular, she's the daughter of a regular. I have to do something special with her hair. She's getting married this afternoon. Now. How long have you been here in town?

(Annelle) A few weeks

New in town! It must be exciting being in a new place. I wouldn't know. I've lived here all my life.

(Annelle) It's a little scary

I can imagine. Well...tell me things about yourself.

(Annelle) There's nothing to tell. I live here. I've got a job now. That's it. Could I borrow a few back issues of Southern Hair?

Uh...sure. It's essential to keep abreast of all the latest styles. I'm glad to see your interest. I get McCall's, Family Circle, Glamour, Mademoiselle, Ladies Home Journal, every magazine known to man. You must live close by. Within walking distance, I mean. I didn't see a car.

(Annelle) My car's...I don't have a car. I've been staying across the river at Robeline's Boarding House.

That's quite a walk. Ruth Robeline...now there's a story. She's a twisted, troubled soul. Her life has been an experiment in terror. Husband killed in World War II. Her son was killed in Vietnam. I have to tell you, when it comes to suffering, she's right up there with Elizabeth Taylor.

(Annelle) I had no idea. Is that a gunshot?

Yes dear, I believe it is. Plug in the hotplate, please.

(Annelle( But why is someone firing a gun in a nice neighborhood like this?

It's a long story. It has to do with Shelby's wedding and her father. You'll be happier if you just ignore it like the rest of the neighborhood.

(Clairee) Knock, knock!

Morning Clairee.

(Clairee) Morning Truvy.

I tried to call you and tell you I was running late. No answer.

(Clairee) I was at the high school. I was out at the crack of dawn.

Annelle, I want you to met the former first lady of Chinquapin, Ms Belcher. Clairee, this is Annelle. She's taking Judy's place.

(Clairee) I'm a little embarrassed. If I had known I was meeting new people, I would have taken a little more pride in my appearance. I have been at the dedication of our new football field. I am not always this windblown.

Annelle, they named the stadium after her late husband...Lloyd Belcher Memorial Coliseum. The team has voted her all sorts of special titles.

(Clairee) That explains it. Truvy? I thought I brought you those recipes.

Clairee, the reason I called is, do you mind if I do Shelby first?

(Clairee) That's fine. I'll amuse myself. Shelby's the most important one today. That man! I'll swanee...I think the situation is worse than ever.

Annelle? We're going to need more towels. They're stacked up next to the washing machine.

(Clairee) Sweet girl. Where'd you find her?

She heard I had a position open and she just walking in. I think there's a story here.

(Clairee) What makes you say that?

For starters, she's married...but she lives at Ruth Robeline's. Alone.

(Clairee) I'd get to the bottom of this, if I were you. You have some nice silverware you'd like to keep.

Oh I'm not worried about that. She's very nice. I just love the idea of hiring someone with a past.

(Clairee) Yuck!

Annelle? How did you make this coffee?

(Annelle) Like you said. I poured hot water through the thing.

Where'd you get the water?

(Annelle) It was boiling on the stove.

Did you notice the hot dogs in the bottom of the pot?

(Did you notice the hot dogs in the bottom of the pot?) (Annelle) No.

Make some more please.

(Clairee) Don't worry. I love a good hot dog. Just not with cream and sugar.

She's probably not an international spy. But! If she works out, I may let her rent the garage apartment.

(Clairee) I thought the twins were going to live there while they go to college.

Recent developments. Louie's going away to LSU now. And Poot has decided to work for my cousin in Baltimore. He doesn't want to be called Poot anymore. My babies are growing up!

(Clairee) I can't believe your kids are old enough to leave the nest.

You know I was a child bride. Well, I look at the bright side. I have some places to visit now. I've always wanted to go to Baltimore. I'm told it's the hairdo capital of the world.

(Clairee) Here they are! I'm so fat I couldn't feel them...

The recipes? Let me see... Mmmmm...this sounds delicious.

(Clairee) It is. And the Bisquick makes it so simple. And this is from my daughter-in-law. She says you can't attend a function in Tickfaw where this is not served.

Yum. Now are these chocolate chips semi-sweet or milk?

(Clairee) Milk

Is the Karo syrup light or dark?

(Clairee) Matter of taste

Where's that other one you were telling me about...cuppa cuppa cuppa?

(Clairee) That's so easy you don't have to write it down. Cup of flour, cup of sugar, cup of fruit cocktail with the juice. Mix it up and bake at 350 til gold and bubbly.

Sounds awfully rich.

(Clairee) It is. So I serve it over ice cream to cut the sweet-ness. Give me some paper, I'll copy them down for you.

Annelle? Get Miss Clairee some paper. I believer there's some stuck on the Frigidaire under the crawfish. Oh...and here's that article on Princess Di. Sometimes I wonder if Drum Eatenton's brain gets enough oxygen. That is so annoying.

(Shelby) Hi everybody!

There she is! There's my girl! Come break my neck!

(Shelby) Truvy. It's so good to see you! Morning, Miss Clairee! It's not that I'm unfriendly, I'm just worried about my nails.

What a pretty color!

(Shelby) I hope this doesn't dry too dark. If it's too dark, it will never do. You know the colors are never the same on the bottle.

You will always find that to be true.

(Shelby) This is drying way too dark. "Practically Pink" my foot! Truvy? Do you have any of those nail polish remover things?

Here. Where's your mama?

(Annelle) Hi. I'm Annelle. I'm new.

Today's Annelle's first day.

(Shelby) Well Annelle. You're working with the best. Anyone who's anybody gets their hair done at Truvy's.

Absolutely! Shelby...uh you know I would walk on my lips to avoid criticizing anyone buy your father is about to make us all pull our hair out. And that is bad for my business!

(Shelby) Well he should be finished with his yard work soon.

I hope so!

(Shelby) No they're not. They just try to create as much tension as possible in any situation. It's a creed they live by.

You know, I was just reading an article in Glamour about tension during family occasions. It seems there can be a lot of stress and trauma. The thing I found most interesting is that stressful times can unleash deep dark hostilities that make your hair fall out.

(Shelby) Princess Grace.

Did you bring me the picture of that hairdo like I asked?

(Shelby) Here you go! Study it carefully. Here's the baby's breath.

This is so exciting. I feel like I am present at the creation. There is something so wondrous about the way a bride looks. I feel it is beauty in its purest form. Where are you going to put this stuff? There's no baby's breath in this picture.

(Clairee) You think so? I'm not so sure. I think they're a little too racy for me. I'll probably give them away.

Ooo. Those are too cha-cha for words. If you decide to get ride of them, I'll buy 'em from you.

(Clairee) What size do you wear?

Well, in a good shoe, I wear a size six, but sevens feel so good, I buy a size eight.

(Clairee) They're an 8 1/2.

Perfect.

(Shelby) Hi Mama. Look at Miss Clairee's shoes.

Ah ah ah. They're mine!

(M'Lynn) Fine. Ouiser Boudreaux just this second dropped by to talk to your father. One or both of them is probably lying in a pool of blood by now. Hello. Did you say Annelle? What a pretty name. Unusual. I'm M'Lynn.

How's the mother of the bride?

(M'Lynn) Don't ask.

What's the matter?

(M'Lynn) Just put it over there, please.

Annelle. Why don't you go on and set Ms. Eatenton? These girls have mountains to move today.

(M'Lynn) Ain't that the truth.

Her coiffure card is right on top.

(M'Lynn) She does sweat profusely. (Shelby) Thank you, Mama.

Heat never bothers me. I love it. But spicy foods make me sweat. Especially on the top of my head. My hair gets wet.

(Shelby) What did Daddy want? (M'Lynn) Nothing.

So...we want to sweep it up but leave some softness around your ears.

(Clairee) Truvy? Could I copy your recipe for Strawberry pie?

Sure. Your mother doesn't tell us much, Shelby. What's Jackson like?

(Shelby) He's pretty swell. I thought he was a pest at first, but then he kind of grew on me. And now I love him.

Where'd you meet him?

(Shelby) At a party at the Petroleum Club in Shreveport. I had no idea who he was, but I was getting a big kick out of watching him on the dance floor. It was painfully obvious he had never taken the time to dance in front of a mirror. There was something so attractive about how stupid he looked.

Is he real romantic?

(Shelby) No. But he does give me flowers. And little presents if I bug him enough. He has promised to give me a red rose on every anniversary corresponding to the number of that anniversary. I think that's so sweet.

Well now. That's a pretty romantic idea, isn't it?

(Clairee) Well, I really do love football. But it's hard to parlay that into a reason to live.

Let's just face it, Clairee. You're a woman coming to terms with her grips. You and I are in the same boat. My kids are leaving town and I've got a husband that hasn't moved from in front of the TV set in fifteen years. It's up to us to figure out why we were put on this earth. That's today's sermon. So. Shelby. Are you and Jackson going to live in West Monroe or Monroe proper?

(Shelby) I don't really care. Don't get me wrong. The money's real nice...but I just like the idea of growing old with somebody. My dream is to get old and sit on the back porch with grandchildren and say, "No!" and "Stop that!"

Are you going to quit nursing?

(Shelby) Never! I love it. I love being around all those babies...Last week we had this poor little fellow, two and a half months premature. He looked like a big rat. I kept talking to him and holding him. But I knew he wasn't going to make it.

That's so sad.

(Annelle) I don't have anything to say.

Well, M'Lynn. Looks like you're ready. I think we can trust Annelle to finish you up, don't you? Do you think you can finish up Ms. Eatenton, Annelle?

(M'Lynn) I must have missed the passage in Emily Post that said all abuse must be heaped on the mother of the bride. Go ahead, Annelle. I'm sure you'll do a beautiful job. It doesn't matter what I look like anyway.

Hush girls. Shelby. Tell me things about the wedding. How many bridesmaids?

(Shelby) Nine.

Good Lord!

(Shelby) Exactly.

I hope that photographer brings a wide-angle lens!

(Shelby) Mama. I wish you would get off Daddy's back. He gets enough hassle from Miss Ouiser.

What are you colors Shelby?

(Shelby) No way. Pink is my signature color.

What color is your dress M'Lynn?

(M'Lynn) Peaches and cream.

Clairee?

Beige lace to the knee.

I am wearing a sexy blue chiffon, Shelby. Jackson's gonna take one look at me and leave you behind in the dust.

(Shelby) That's what she told Daddy. What she actually meant is that it was "for sale" not "on sale." (Phone rings)

Hello. Hi, Janice. Yes, I heard. I know it's an emergency...but today I'm dealing with Shelby. But tomorrow's Sunday- but...sure, fine...come by after church.

(Clairee) Truvy, you shouldn't give up your Sundays.

Well, you know how neurotic Janice van Meter is about her appearance.

(Clairee) Janice is the current mayor's wife. We hate her.

Now Shelby...fill me in on the reception.

(Shelby) The groom's cake. It's awful! It's the shape of a giant armadillo.

An armadillo?

(Shelby) They are simply outdoorsy, that's all.

Did you all do anything especially romantic?

(Shelby) We drove down to Frenchman's Point and went parking. (M'Lynn) Shelby, really.

Oh boy. The romantic part. This is what really melts my butter.

(Shelby) We talked and talked and talked...

I love those kind of talks... in the arms of the man you love.

(Shelby) Actually we fought most of the time.

What?

(Shelby) It's ok now. We worked it all out.

Oh. It was just one of last minute jitter things.

(Shelby) No. But the wedding's still on.

Thank goodness! 'Cause this is going to be in the hairdo hall of fame.

(Clairee) You scared us Shelby. That wasn't a nice thing to do to your mama. You should never say something like that to a woman who's marinating fifty pounds of crab claws.

Oooo. Making up can be extremely romantic. I'm jealous. I miss romance so much.

(Clairee) Truvy. It can't be that bad.

The last romantic thing my husband did was in 1972. He enclosed this carport so I could support him! Very nice Annelle. I think you know what you're doing.

(Annelle) Thank you. Ms. Eatenton, you have great hair. (M'Lynn) Thank you.

Must run in the family. Shelby. You have such pretty hair...so thick...Hold your head up, darling.

(Shelby) Stop it.

Shelby? Shelby? M'Lynn!

(M'Lynn) Truvy there's some candy in my purse.

I got a peppermint right here.

(M'Lynn) Shelby? We're getting you some juice.

Should I get her a cookie?

(M'Lynn) Drink honey. Drink some juice.

Drink the juice, honey.

(Annelle) Excuse me. Should I call the doctor or something.

No, no.

(M'Lynn) I'd love to see you try. Shelby...cooperate. Drink.

Honey, drink...please.

(M'Lynn) No. She'll be fine in just a minute. She probably won't remember anything. Don't fuss over her...normality is very important to Shelby.

I'm sorry to hear about the children part, M'Lynn.

(Shelby) I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, Mama. (Phone rings)

Hello? Yeah, hon...just a second. M'Lynn it's Tommy...for Shelby.

(M'Lynn) Shelby, honey? It's tommy.

Shelby, it's Tommy. He wants to know where your car is.

(Shelby) Absolutely not. That's the honeymoon getaway car. He just wants to defile it. Jonathan said he's been buying rubbers by the case.

She'll have to call you back.

(Shelby) Thank you Mama.

Sit up straight. I've got to gild the lily. Now. Are you going to take it down after the reception? I'll be glad to give you a touch-up before you leave on the honeymoon.

(Shelby) I'm going to leave it up as long as possible.

Now. Let me guess where the honeymoon is. I picture tropical. Moonlight for days. Secluded. Somewhere that you can be intimate out of doors...

(Shelby) Las Vegas.

The weather's supposed to be nice. I hear it's like living in a blow dryer.

(M'Lynn) Finally. You're listening to reason.

Now Shelby. You're going to have to start untangling this baby's breath.

(Shelby) It's my wedding! I'll stick baby's breath up my nose if I want to.

She's got enough.