VHSL god help me

First line

I know, I know. We aren't supposed to see one another until we're walking down the aisle.

I know, I know. We aren't supposed to see one another until we're walking down the aisle.

I read the Wikipedia entry for "Wedding Customs by Country" and binge-watched Seasons 1, 2, 3, 4 and 7 of "Bridezillas."

I read the Wikipedia entry for "Wedding Customs by Country" and binge-watched Seasons 1, 2, 3, 4 and 7 of "Bridezillas."

Felix Mendelssohn appears in my dreams to ask me for advice.

Felix Mendelssohn appears in my dreams to ask me for advice.

I am so caught up on wedding culture that you should be giving me credit for not being more freaked out.

I am so caught up on wedding culture that you should be giving me credit for not being more freaked out.

AND I AM NOT YE-... yelling!

AND I AM NOT YE-... yelling!

God, I need an affirmation right now.

God, I need an affirmation right now.

"Every decision I make is the right one for me." Thank you, Louise Hay.

"Every decision I make is the right one for me." Thank you, Louise Hay.

Thank you, https colon forward-slash forward-slash www
dot Louise Hay dot com forward-slash affirmations forward-slash.

Thank you, https colon forward-slash forward-slash www
dot Louise Hay dot com forward-slash affirmations forward-slash.

So, just wanted to say the wedding's off. See you around.

So, just wanted to say the wedding's off. See you around.

Look, I'm not cancelling because I’m "destroying the fabric of society by marrying another woman."

Look, I'm not cancelling because I’m "destroying the fabric of society by marrying another woman."

I was over that long
before Aunt Betty addressed my birthday card to "The Selfish 11-Year-Old Girl Who is the End of a Long-Lived and Long-Respected
Family Line."

I was over that long
before Aunt Betty addressed my birthday card to "The Selfish 11-Year-Old Girl Who is the End of a Long-Lived and Long-Respected
Family Line."

Traditions evolve and change. You know what used to be traditions? Child labor, pimento cheese loaf, and asbestos.

Traditions evolve and change. You know what used to be traditions? Child labor, pimento cheese loaf, and asbestos.

I’m cancelling because, well -marrying me would be like listening to those radio stations that play only Christmas songs.

I’m cancelling because, well -marrying me would be like listening to those radio stations that play only Christmas songs.

It seems like
a good idea at first, but then you want to bludgeon your eyes with a blunt instrument and go blind like Oedipus, paying for your hubris.

It seems like
a good idea at first, but then you want to bludgeon your eyes with a blunt instrument and go blind like Oedipus, paying for your hubris.

Imagine Burl Ives singing "Holly Jolly Christmas" nonstop, forever. That’s what you’re signing up for.

Imagine Burl Ives singing "Holly Jolly Christmas" nonstop, forever. That’s what you’re signing up for.

I do love you. Really. I love you enough to wish for something better for you, because you deserve the best. So… bye.

Whole thing

I know, I know. We aren't supposed to see one another until we're walking down the aisle. I read the Wikipedia entry for "Wedding Customs by Country" and binge-watched Seasons 1, 2, 3, 4 and 7 of "Bridezillas." Felix Mendelssohn appears in
my dreams to ask me for advice. I am so caught up on wedding culture that you should be giving me credit for not being more freaked out.

AND I AM NOT YE-... yelling!

God, I need an affirmation right now.

"Every decision I make is the right one for me." Thank you, Louise Hay. Thank you, https colon forward-slash forward-slash www dot Louise Hay dot com forward slash affirmations forward-slash.

So, just wanted to say the wedding's off. See you around.

Look, I'm not cancelling because I’m "destroying the fabric of society by marrying another woman." I was over that long before Aunt Betty addressed my birthday card to "The Selfish 11 Year-Old Girl Who is the End of a Long-Lived and Long-Respected Family Line." Traditions evolve and change. You know what used to be traditions? Child labor, pimento cheese loaf, and asbestos.

I’m cancelling because, well - marrying me would be like listening to those radio stations that play only Christmas songs. It seems like a good idea at first, but then you want to bludgeon your eyes with a blunt instrument and go blind like Oedipus, paying for your hubris. Imagine Burl Ives singing "Holly Jolly Christmas" nonstop, forever. That’s what you’re signing up for.

I do love you. Really. I love you enough to wish for something better for you, because you deserve the best. So… bye.