Lecture 6a–6c: Intimacy, Empathy, Social Support, Self-Expansion, Sex, and Forgiveness

Question-and-answer flashcards covering key concepts from Lecture 6a (Intimacy & Empathy), 6b (Social Support & Capitalization), and 6c (Self-Expansion, Sex, Forgiveness).

What is intimacy in the context of close relationships?

A sense of closeness and emotional connection that develops through repeated, meaningful communication.

Why do conversations with less-intimate people often run out of topics more quickly?

Because intimacy is built on repeated, meaningful exchanges; with less intimacy, fewer shared experiences and disclosures limit conversation depth.

Through what primary means does intimacy develop between partners?

By sharing central aspects of the self—emotions, beliefs, and values—through communication.

As intimacy grows, how do partners tend to think of themselves?

Less as two separate individuals (“me and you”) and more as a unit (“we and us”).

Name two non-verbal behaviors that typically signal intimacy.

Examples include physical contact, body orientation toward each other, sustained eye gaze, or accurately predicting the partner’s preferences.

Who proposed the Intimacy Process Model?

Harry Reis and Philip Shaver.

According to the Intimacy Process Model, what three partner responses foster intimacy?

Understanding, validation, and caring.

In the model, what does ‘understanding’ mean?

The partner accurately grasps who you are and what your disclosure truly means.

What is meant by ‘validation’ in intimate exchanges?

Respecting and accepting the discloser’s feelings as legitimate and important.

Define ‘caring’ in the Intimacy Process Model.

Demonstrating concern for the partner’s welfare and conveying warmth or affection.

Why is intimacy called a ‘dyadic process’?

Because it requires coordinated actions of both partners—one discloses, the other responds.

What are ‘interpretive filters’ in relationships?

Partners’ existing worldviews, goals, and concerns that shape how disclosures are made and responses are perceived.

How can interpretive filters affect partner responsiveness?

They influence whether a given response feels understanding, validating, and caring to the discloser.

In the Ellie–Sam example, why might two different compassionate responses have different intimacy effects?

Because Ellie’s personal needs (e.g., sensitivity vs. optimism) determine which response best matches her interpretive filter.

What type of self-disclosure most strongly increases intimacy, according to diary studies?

Emotional disclosures—sharing feelings rather than mere facts.

How does perceived partner responsiveness relate to overall relationship satisfaction?

Higher perceived responsiveness during disclosure predicts greater intimacy, which in turn correlates with higher relationship satisfaction.

What is empathic accuracy?

The ability to correctly infer a partner’s specific thoughts and feelings.

How do researchers typically measure empathic accuracy in couples?

Partners discuss a conflict on video, then independently report their own and guess each other’s thoughts/feelings; researchers compare the two sets.

Under what circumstances can high empathic accuracy be harmful?

When the partner’s thoughts are negative or threatening, leading to defensiveness or escalated conflict.

What are relationship ‘blind spots’ in empathic accuracy research?

Selective inattention to partners’ fleeting negative thoughts, which can protect the relationship from unnecessary conflict.

Define social support in romantic relationships.

Assistance one partner provides the other, usually to cope with external stressors or problems.

Give two documented benefits of receiving effective social support.

Faster physical recovery, improved mood or self-esteem, and greater relationship satisfaction and commitment.

What determines whether social support is effective for the recipient?

Whether the recipient perceives the support as responsive—matching their current needs.

Differentiate emotional support from practical (instrumental) support.

Emotional support offers caring, concern, and reassurance; practical support involves tangible help with tasks or chores.

How can a well-intended support offer still feel unsupportive?

If the partner offers problem-solving when the recipient wants empathy, or vice versa, the mismatch can feel invalidating.

What can recipients do to obtain more responsive support?

Clearly communicate whether they need emotional validation or practical help.

How do insecure attachment styles affect perception of support?

Anxious or avoidant individuals often perceive less support or interpret neutral support as critical or rejecting.

Why might people with low self-esteem dislike cheerful re-framing of setbacks?

They may feel their negative emotions are being dismissed rather than validated.

What is ‘invisible support’?

Help that the giver provides without the recipient recognizing it as support.

Why can visible support sometimes backfire?

It may feel condescending, threaten self-esteem, or highlight the recipient’s dependence.

What is capitalization in relationships?

Sharing good news with a partner and receiving their response.

List the four response types to a partner’s positive event, per Shelley Gable.

Active-constructive, passive-constructive, active-destructive, and passive-destructive.

Which capitalization response type best predicts intimacy and satisfaction?

Active-constructive responses.

How do the other three capitalization response types affect intimacy?

Passive-constructive, active-destructive, and passive-destructive responses are linked to lower intimacy and satisfaction.

What is the core idea of the Self-Expansion Model?

People are motivated to grow by including the partner’s resources, perspectives, and identities into their own self-concept.

What evidence supports self-expansion during falling in love?

Students who fell in love over 10 weeks used more varied self-descriptions and reported greater self-efficacy.

Why can marital satisfaction decline as self-expansion opportunities diminish?

Fewer novel or challenging joint experiences can lead to boredom and stagnation.

What kind of shared activities boost relationship satisfaction most effectively?

Novel, exciting, and arousing activities rather than merely pleasant or routine ones.

Explain ‘misattribution of arousal’ in couple activities.

Physiological arousal from exciting tasks is attributed to the partner, intensifying passion and satisfaction.

Name the three explanations for the correlation between sexual and relationship satisfaction.

Sexual satisfaction may cause relationship satisfaction, relationship satisfaction may cause sexual satisfaction, or a third variable (e.g., communication) influences both.

Distinguish approach-motive sex from avoidance-motive sex in outcomes.

Approach-motive sex predicts positive emotions and better relationship well-being; avoidance-motive sex predicts negative emotions, conflict, and lower well-being.

How does perceiving your partner’s sexual motives as approach-oriented affect you?

It enhances your own relationship satisfaction and well-being.

What is the definition of forgiveness after a transgression like infidelity?

An intrapersonal shift from anger to compassion and an interpersonal shift from retaliation to constructive behavior toward the offender.

How does the way infidelity is discovered influence forgiveness likelihood?

Self-disclosure by the offender is least damaging and linked to higher forgiveness; being caught or told by a third party is more damaging.

How do victims’ interpretations of infidelity affect forgiveness?

Believing the affair was situational and unlikely to recur promotes forgiveness, whereas seeing the partner as untrustworthy hinders it.

What role do empathy and remorse play in post-infidelity forgiveness?

Sincere apologies and displayed vulnerability from the cheater, combined with empathy from the victim, increase forgiveness chances.

How do commitment and prior satisfaction affect the decision to forgive infidelity?

Higher investment and relationship satisfaction motivate partners to forgive and work toward repair.