HD-204 Final

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Relational Matinence

refers to the actions and activities that an individual uses to preserve and/or improve a relationship.

What Activites serve to maintain relationships in families?

Routine behaviors include driving a child to school each morning or asking about a teenager’s day during dinner. More intentional efforts require planning and the use of strategic behaviors, such as selecting a gift to please a partner on her birthday, attending a child’s soccer game, or apologizing after a fight.

What is the outcome of maintaining relationship?

relational benefits that come from enacting different rituals, and rituals may be good for family members’ physical and emotional health.

What things promote marital resiliance?

Positivity, openness, assurances, maintaining social networks, and sharing tasks.

Positivity

communicating in cheerful and optimistic ways

Openness

Self diclosing ones thoughts and feelings

Assurances

Messages of affection support and commitment

Maintainig social networks

Involiving family and friends in activities

Sharing tasks

sense of equity or jointly performing tasks

How are the maintence strategies of same-sex couples similar or different from heterosexual couples?

same sex partners report spending more time together, and same-sex partnerships have found very similar maintenance behaviors to those used by heterosexual partners, although gay and lesbian partnerships may experience additional stresses.

What does parent-child relationship maintenance look like and do for the relationship?

As parent and child relationships shift from vertical to more horizontal, responsibility for relational maintenance becomes shared. Across years and life stages, through conversation and negotiation, parents and children learn how to stay connected

What relational maintenance strategies do siblings and step-siblings use?

siblings reported using the maintenance behavior of sharing tasks most frequently and the behavior of openness least frequently. the more siblings liked each other, the more likely they were to use all five maintenance strategies.

What is confirmation? What does it look like? Be able to define and identify in an example.

Maintenance through confirmation is a term used to describe the process of upholding or reinforcing a belief or idea by seeking out and interpreting information in a way that supports that belief. (Wanting acceptance/Validation from another person)

Recognition

Recognition means you acknowledge the other person’s existence and indicate a willingness to be involved with the other.

Dialogue

Dialogue refers to an interactive, conversational involvement between two or more persons. Comments such as “Because I said so” and “You’ll do it my way or not at all” discount the other person and do not reflect a dialogical attitude

Accpetance

Acceptance occurs when we allow others to be themselves. Acceptance avoids interpreting or judging one another.

Confirmation

Confirming behavior in a current relationship often reflects one’s family-of-origin patterns. Individuals who grew up in an inexpressive family may have trouble satisfying the reassurance and recognition needs of a partner or a child.

How and why does respect characterize confirmation? (i.e., what does respect involve in relationships)?

Respect is an important aspect of confirmation because it involves treating others' beliefs and ideas with consideration and regard. This means listening to their perspectives and considering their evidence, even if it contradicts one's own beliefs.

What are the special aspects of celebrations or routines that make them rituals?

Rituals often involve the use of symbols, such as objects, gestures, or words, that hold a specific meaning for the participants. These symbols can be religious, cultural, or personal in nature, and they can help to create a deeper sense of meaning and connection for those who participate in the ritual.

Celebrations

such as birthdays, holidays, and other special occasions, rituals can help to reinforce family identity by providing a shared experience for family members.

Traditions

such as religious observances, cultural customs, or family meals, rituals can also help to reinforce family identity by providing a shared experience and a sense of belonging.

Patterned interactions

such as the way family members greet each other, communicate with one another, or resolve conflicts, rituals can also help to reinforce family identity by providing a shared set of behaviors and expectations.

What are some rituals that are unique to couples? What function do these serve?

Special gestures or phrases that are shared only between the couple, such as a secret handshake or a special nickname
Special rituals for celebrating anniversaries, such as exchanging gifts or renewing wedding vows
Strengthen the bond between the couple by providing a shared experience that is unique to them
Create a sense of intimacy and connection by allowing the couple to share special moments and experiences

What are intergenerational rituals and what do they do for families?

rituals that involve members of different generations within a family. These rituals can be religious, cultural, or personal in nature, and they can involve a wide range of activities and behaviors.

Strengthen the bond between members of different generations by providing a shared experience
Help to maintain family traditions and customs by passing them down from one generation to the next

What is important for stepfamilies to do in regard to family rituals?

it is important to establish and maintain their own family rituals. This can help to create a sense of belonging and connection within the stepfamily, and can provide a shared experience that reinforces the stepfamily's identity and values.

Why would it be important to modify old rituals and create new rituals?

it can be important to modify old rituals and create new rituals in order to establish a sense of belonging and connection within the stepfamily. This is because stepfamilies are often made up of individuals from different backgrounds and with different traditions

What are some rituals unique to single-parent families? What function do these serve?

Special routines or habits that are shared only between the parent and child, such as reading a bedtime story or having a weekly movie night
Strengthen the bond between the parent and child by providing a shared experience that is unique to them
Create a sense of intimacy and connection by allowing the parent and child to share special moments and experiences

Integrated

rituals are those in which the bereaved individuals actively participate in the ritual and openly express their grief and emotions. These rituals often involve a wide range of activities, such as preparing the body for burial, holding a funeral or memorial service, and visiting the grave.

Denial

involve a more passive or distanced approach to grief and emotions. In these rituals, the bereaved individuals may avoid openly expressing their grief, and may instead focus on practical tasks and activities that are related to the death.

Segmented

rituals involve a more gradual and individualized approach to grief. In these rituals, the bereaved individuals may engage in a series of separate activities or events over time, such as visits to the grave, conversations with friends and family, or participation in memorial services.

What is chronicling? It is mentioned in relation to family celebrations and ceremonies

Chronicling is the process of documenting or recording family celebrations and ceremonies. This can involve taking photographs, writing down memories or reflections, or creating other types of records or artifacts.

What are examples of negative rituals and why are these harmful?

rituals include those that involve physical harm or abuse, such as violence or self-harm; psychological harm or abuse, such as emotional manipulation or gaslighting; social harm or abuse

What are relational Currencies

a type of intangible resource that is exchanged within a relationship in order to maintain or strengthen the bond between the individuals involved. This can include things like shared experiences, emotional support, or expressions of love and affection.

What are types of relational currencies and why do they build closeness?

physical affection, verbal expressions of love and affection, shared experiences, emotional support, and acts of service. These relational currencies can build closeness within a relationship by providing a shared experience or a sense of connection between the individuals involved.

What are the symbolic meanings behind various relational currencies?

vary depending on the context and the individuals involved. For example, physical affection may symbolize love and connection, while acts of service may symbolize commitment and dedication.

What is the definition of intimacy? What are the characteristics of different types of intimacy?

a close, personal, and emotionally close relationship or connection between two or more individuals.
Emotional intimacy, which involves sharing thoughts, feelings, and emotions with others
Physical intimacy, which involves physical contact and affection between individuals

What role do relational calibration and boundaries play in family and partner intimacy?

help to create a sense of balance and harmony within a family or partner relationship, and can support the development and maintenance of intimacy.

What is commitment talk and its characteristics?

type of communication that is used to express, clarify, or reaffirm an individual's commitment to a relationship. This can involve things like expressing one's love and affection for the other person, discussing plans for the future, or making promises or commitments to the relationship.

How does self-disclosure relate to intimacy in families and partnerships? What impact does it have on relationships?

the process of sharing personal information or thoughts and feelings with others. It can have a positive impact on relationships by creating a sense of closeness and connection between the individuals involved.

What is required for self-disclosure to occur?

A willingness to share personal information or thoughts and feelings with others
A sense of trust and safety within the relationship, which allows individuals to feel comfortable sharing personal information

Is it possible to have too much self-disclosure? If so, what are the outcomes of this?

it can create an imbalance within the relationship, and can lead to negative outcomes. Overwhelming the other person, which can lead to feelings of discomfort or resentment
Creating an imbalance in the relationship, where one person is doing most of the self-disclosure and the other person is not able to share as much

What about too little self-disclosure?

When individuals do not disclose enough personal information or thoughts and feelings, it can create a sense of distance or disconnection within the relationship, and can lead to negative outcomes.

What type of self-disclosure is likely to bring closeness/intimacy?

emotional self-disclosure. This type of self-disclosure involves sharing personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences with others, and can help to create a sense of trust, understanding, and connection within a relationship.

How do couples and families manage privacy boundaries?

Setting boundaries around what personal information is shared with others, and with whom
Establishing ground rules or expectations around privacy within the relationship or family
Communicating openly and honestly about privacy boundaries, and discussing any changes or concerns

What is debriefing, and what does it do for couples or families?

a process that is used to reflect on and discuss an event or experience. In the context of couples or families, debriefing can involve discussing a shared experience, such as a vacation or holiday, or a challenging event, such as an illness or family crisis. Improving communication and understanding within the relationship or family, by providing an opportunity to share thoughts and feelings about a shared experience

What is boundary turbulence?

challenges and conflicts that can arise when individuals have different expectations or boundaries around privacy, intimacy, and personal space.

What are the primary differences in disclosure and boundary management based on these dimensions (cohesion and adaptability)?

High cohesion and low adaptability: In families with high levels of cohesion and low levels of adaptability, there may be a strong sense of closeness and connectedness, but a lack of flexibility or openness to change.
High cohesion and high adaptability: In families with high levels of cohesion and high levels of adaptability, there may be a strong sense of closeness and connectedness, as well as a willingness to adapt and change.
Low cohesion and low adaptability: In families with low levels of cohesion and low levels of adaptability, there may be a lack of closeness and connectedness, and a lack of flexibility or openness to change. In these families, disclosure and boundary management may involve a low level of consistency and stability, and may be
Low cohesion and high adaptability: In families with low levels of cohesion and high levels of adaptability, there may be a lack of closeness and connectedness, but a willingness to adapt and change. In these families, disclosure and boundary management may involve a balance between consistency and stability, and openness and flexibility, but may also involve a lack of closeness and connectedness.

What is sexual communication?

Sexual communication is the process of discussing and sharing information and experiences related to sex, sexuality, and intimacy. This can include things like talking about sexual preferences and boundaries, discussing sexual health and safety, or sharing feelings and experiences related to sex and sexuality.

What does parental sexuality communication involve?

discussing topics related to sex and sexuality with children. This can include providing information about sexual health and safety, discussing healthy relationships and boundaries, and addressing any questions or concerns that children may have about sex and sexuality.

What is the impact of direct (vs. indirect) discussions about sex between parents and their children?

direct discussions about sex between parents and children can be beneficial, as they can provide clear and accurate information, and can help to establish open and honest communication between parents and children.
indirect discussions about sex between parents and children may be less effective, as they may be less clear or accurate, and may not adequately address children's questions or concerns.

What are the four principles of effective parent-child communication about sex?

Providing age-appropriate information
Establishing open and honest communication
Addressing children's questions and concerns
Providing support and guidance

Effort

What are love maps?

detailed mental representations of a person's knowledge about their partner. They include information about the person's likes, dislikes, hobbies, interests, values, and experiences.

How do jealousy and deception impact intimacy? What are the definitions of these?

excessive or uncontrolled jealousy can be harmful, as it can lead to conflict, resentment, and mistrust within a relationship or family.Deception can be harmful within a relationship or family, as it can erode trust and undermine intimacy.

What are family roles?

Family roles refer to the behaviors, responsibilities, and expectations associated with each member of a family. These roles are typically determined by factors such as gender, age, and family dynamics

What are role expectations?

the norms and expectations that each family member is expected to fulfill within the family unit. These can include things like gender roles, responsibilities within the household, and expectations for behavior.

Role enactment/performance

Enacting work roles and family roles may be different. A women's behavior may be different in her first marriage than in her second marriage. Society provides models and norms for how certain family roles should be enacted

Role negotiation

Communication and agreement among the roles discussed. Socially construct and structure their reality and give meaning to their lives.

Role conflict

work/family conflict, or the conflict one feels when pulled between familial and professional obligations.

What function do roles play?

patterns of behavior developed through the family member's interactions that family member's enact in order to fulfill family functions.

What is gender socialization?

process by which individuals develop, refine and learn to 'do' gender through internalizing gender norms and roles as they interact with key agents of socialization, such as their family, social networks and other social institutions.

How does it influence roles?

internalizing gender norms and roles

How does gender socialization influence the division of labor?

disparities between the sexes' pay and promotion opportunities. The sex composition of jobs is linked to employment

What is androgyny in the context of gender roles and socialization? How does it relate to personal, professional, and relational success (including roles)?

androgyny refers to a person who has a mix of traditionally masculine and feminine traits.

How do gender socialization and roles impact development?

contributes to gender inequalities in education, employment, income, empowerment, and other significant outcomes of well-being during adolescence and later in life

What is kinship maintenance?

the full-time care, nurturing, and protection of a child by relatives, members of their Tribe or clan, godparents, stepparents, or other adults who have a family relationship to a child.

How do power dynamics vary?

the individual personalities and temperaments of family members, the family's cultural and societal background, and the specific circumstances and events that the family has experienced.

What are the important aspects of power?

the ability to control resources, people, and situations. Power is often associated with leadership and the ability to influence others, as well as the capacity to make decisions and take action.

What are power bases?

Legitimate Power
2) Reward Power
3) Referent Power
4) Expert Power
5) Informational Power
6) Coercive Power

How do power dynamics in relationships manifest themselves in communication?

Certain things you dont talk to your parents about, you are respectful to certain adults in your life etc.

How do power bases influence power outcomes?

the foundations upon which an individual or group can exercise power. These sources of power can include things like control over resources, access to information, expertise or knowledge, and physical strength. The ability to influence others through charisma or persuasion can also be a source of power.

How do children demonstrate power?

For very young children, power may be demonstrated through physical actions, such as hitting or pushing, or through the use of their vocal abilities, such as crying or yelling. As children get older, they may begin to exert power through more subtle means, such as using their knowledge or skills to impress others or to get what they want.

Understand how confirming, disconfirming, and rejecting messages work

Confirming climates occur when we receive messages that show we are valued by others. Conversely, we feel disconfirming climates when we receive messages that suggest we are devalued and unimportant. rejecting is

Understand the one-up, one-down subsystem

individual attempt to exercise control over another family member(s), individual acceptance of the control from other family member(s).

What are verbal influence strategies? (be able to list and understand examples of these strategies)

Direct requests: Just asking
• Bargaining: Offering to do something 'in exchange'
• Aversive stimulation: Behaving in negative manner
o EX: complaining, crying
• Ingratiation: Behaving in a positive manner to get what you want
• Hinting: Indirectly communicating
• Moral appeal: what would a good, moral person do?
• Manipulation: Guilting, shaming
• Withdrawal: Silence, avoiding, leaving
• Deception: Exaggerating, lying
• Distributive communication: Power messages
o EX: Bullying, antagonizing
• Threats: Intimidating the other, whether or not you plan to carry them out

What are other factors that can affect power influence in communication? (i.e. age, culture etc.)

-Gender
-age (children use more indirect strategies)
-marital satisfaction (direct strategies more often then indirect strategies)
-culture (direct strategies are not acceptable in some cultures)

What is decision making in a family context?

-Process through which families make choices and develop solutions
-usually involves sub groups rather than the whole family
-often highlight/addresses differences between members

Is the process of decision making an individual action or part of a family system?

Decision making can be both an individual action and part of a family system. On the individual level, decision making involves evaluating options and choosing a course of action based on one's own preferences, beliefs, and values. Within a family system, however, decision making is often a collaborative process that involves multiple individuals and can be influenced by a variety of factors, including family dynamics, rules and traditions

What are the three rules that are used in family decision making?

1. Rules for DIVIDING RESOURCES
2. Rules for DESIGNATED AUTHORITY
3. Rules of NEGOTIATION

What are decisions based on principle?

-Fairness and concern for others is a principle
-Requires empathy and cooperation
-Works when children have been taught value right, strengths, limitations of others

What are the 4 phases associated with decision making?

1) identify/clarify the problem
2) alternatives - generate & assess alternatives.
3) build consensus - What is the best alternative?
4) action - accept, plan, evaluate.
ex. taking a family vacation

Understand the different factors that can affect decision making
Gender, outside influences, individual investment, and the role of children and adolescents

-Role of children and adolescents
--Depends on: moods, developmental appropriateness
-- Purchase decisions

-Gender: may impact the domain of influence, also depends on employment
--Men in positions that allow autonomy, self-direction, group problem-solving
--Women who work have more influence

-Outside influences: institutions, policies, agencies

-Individual Investment: some members may not be concerned about results, agenda setting

What are some communication skills that help with decision making?

Problem solving strategies and negotiation:
allow speaking
avoid negative messages
seek multiple options
communicating clearly
acknowledge other members ideas

What are the principles of constructive decision making?

1. Justice - treating each other equally
2. Autonomy - respecting rights to freedom or free choices that enhance their lives
3. Caring - helping each other to fulfill goals
4. Awareness of Consequences - Pros/cons of good/bad decisions
5. Loyalty - keeping promises, carrying out the decisions that were agreed upon

Define Destructive Conflict

Violence toward children is most tolerated form of family violence

overt conflict definition
Including overt communication strategies and examples

overt = obvious / both start w/ o)calmly discussing disagreements outloud; intensely arguing about ideas; shouting matches; physical attacks.

Covert conflict definition
Including covert communication strategies and examples

Sally is very angry at her brother, Matt. When he leaves for school, she sneaks into his room and breaks his favorite toy.

What is couple violence?

a pattern of behavior in which one partner in a romantic or sexual relationship uses physical, psychological, or emotional abuse to control the other partner. This can include physical assault, sexual assault, emotional abuse, and other forms of abuse.

What is Gunnysacking?

the practice of saving up negative thoughts and feelings about someone else and bringing them up at a later time, often during an argument or confrontation.

What are some characteristics of abusive parents?

A lack of empathy: Abusive parents often have difficulty understanding and caring about the feelings of their children.
A need for control: Abusive parents often have a strong desire to control their children, and may use various tactics to exert control over their children's thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
A need for control: Abusive parents often have a strong desire to control their children, and may use various tactics to exert control over their children's thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

What are some effects experienced by children who have been abused?

Get sick more often, low self-esteem, higher rates of depression, and more likely to use drugs and participate in risky behavior

Tend to have psychological, physical, or relational disabilities as well have increased risk of becoming abusers (but most do not)

Abuse definition: How do child welfare professionals define abuse?

Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse, or exploitation" or an "an act or failure to act which presents an imminent ris of serious har

Are children who have been abused at greater risk of becoming abusive?

Yes

Can all conflict be resolved? Why or why not?

- Dialogue may be more important
- Couples argue about the same issues 69% of the time: suggesting that most conflict is unresolvable
- Establishing and maintaining a dialogue about issues may be more important than whether or not couples are able to resolve conflicts

Gottman’s Conflict Types
Stable vs. unstable couples

Hostile, engaged, and hostile detached

Define and be able to apply Gottman’s “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”

Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling

What is the developmental perspective to understanding family stresses?

Communication behaviors adapt over time (individual changes, relational changes)

What are marker events?

Transition from stage to stage and there are unique challenges we encounter along the way depending on which life stage we are in

Trajectories and transitions at the macro and micro level: What are these? How do they differ?

At the micro level, trajectories and transitions refer to the specific experiences and changes that individual families go through. At the macro level, trajectories refer to the overall trends and patterns that are observed in families within a particular society. For example, the trend towards smaller families in developed countries is a macro-level trajectory.

how does the traditional life-course perspective deal with diversity?

a sociological framework that is used to understand the different stages and transitions that individuals go through over the course of their lives.

E.g., how do developmental tasks create tension or stress? How are these tensions best resolved?

tasks or challenges that people must face and overcome in order to develop and grow, can create tension or stress because they often require us to step outside of our comfort zone and try something new or challenging.