Alice in Wonderland

TVHS production "Alice In Wonderland" for Readers Theatre; The Caterpillar

Alice: “…Everything is so curious”

“Hmmm… That’s a shallow observation”

Alice: “…Or perhaps I’m just small for a girl”

“Possibly. It all depends on your point of view”

Alice: “Where did you come from?”

“ Why from where I’ve been, of course. Where else would I come from? WHO are you?”

Alice: “Well, I hardly know anymore. Everything is so strange.”

“What kind of answer is that? Explain yourself.”

Alice: “…Maybe you should tell me who you are first.”

“Incorrect. I know who I am, but I don’t know who you are. Therefore, you should explain yourself first.”

Alice: “No, you should tell me who you are first.”

“Would you like me to recite? I’m quite good.”

Alice: “Recite what?”

“Why my recitation, of course. I shall begin at the beginning and carry on till the end!

“You are old, Father William,” the young man said, “And your hair has become very white. And you incessantly stand on your head- Do you think your age is right?”

“In my youth,” Father William replied to his son, “I feared it might injure the brain; But now that I’m perfectly sure I have none, Why do it again and again.”

“You are old,” said the youth, “one would hardly suppose that your eye was steady as ever; Yet you balanced a eel on the end of your nose. What made you so awfully clever?”

“I have answered one question, and that is enough.” said his father, “Don’t give yourself such airs! Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? Be off,or I’ll kick you downstairs!” “

Sarah: “You do that rather well.”

“ Quite so, I’m glad you noticed— And now, if you’d like some advice, the tea party is waiting.”

Alice: “A tea party?” Will the white rabbit be there?”

“To find out, one must go and see.”

Dodo Bird: “ Impossible. We haven’t had our caucus race yet.”

“Ah, so ignorance will be represented after all. Or rather, misrepresented.”

Dodo Bird: “ You have no right to lalk tike that. I mean, talk like that.

“Perhaps we shall meet again. When this creature is not around. Until then, remember, you belong where you go and you go where you belong, you find what you seek and you seek what you find- but not always in that order. Farewell.

Queen: “…Thant one- That one over there- he’s going out of turn! Off with his head!”

“Most amusing.”

Queen: “Speak to the king about it, he’s in charge of days. I, as head of the Royal Command of Soldiers, am in charge of the knights.”

“The knights in Armor, that is.”

Queen: “Come on everybody. Miss your turn and lose your head. Lose your head and miss your turn.”

“From anyone else- a shallow observation. But from you, dear Queen, brilliant!”

Rabbit: “The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts and took them quit away.”

“Those are last week’s charges! Please, let’s keep this up to date!”

Queen: “Yes, up to date. Today’s charges for today’s victim. I mean, today’s defendant.”

“What can you expect- from someone so unpunctilious?”

Hatter: “Of course, of course, exactly what I was going to say myself.”

“Show some respect, this is the Royal Court.”

Alice: “Me? You want to hear from me?”

“Who are you?”

Alice: “Yes your majesty.”

“What do you know about this business?”

Alice: “Absolutely nothing.”

“Liar.”

Alice: “But I don’t; I promise you I don’t”

“Illogical. You can’t promise you don’t know anything unless you don’t know that it is that you are promising not to know.”

Alice: “Why is everything here so confusing?”

“Why are you so confusing?”

Alice: “…and I don’t know what I’m supposed to say!”

“This is a very ignorant witness, your majesty”

Queen: “Ha! Then how do you know you’ve never seen him?!”

“One for the Queen, one for the Queen!”

Queen: “Now it’s time for my verdict, and I find the defendant guilty. Off with her head. Off with her head.”

“She never uses it anyway.”

Queen: “Guards! Guards! what are you doing, you can’t desert me! This creature can’t be allowed to insult the Queen!”

“This Alice is insolent, incompetent, and in trouble.”

Queen: “Wait, what’s happening?”

“Something seems to be calling to us; beckoning, from very far away.”

Queen: “But I can’t leave; I’m not finished with her!”

“Metaphysics, its all metaphysics”