Six lines

We said how are you doing tonight

We are

Six

And welcome to our divorced beheaded live tour

Shimmies to shake up your chemise

And a whole lot of history

So you can't here tonight to party with us old school

Really really old school……. But we're not here to have fun

Uh uh

We've got a serious score to settle

The problem is there's…

SIX

The biggest sinner is obvs the winner

Who had the son takes number one.

And tell us what you want to know

That's right! We're here to help you figure out which of us is

The queen of the castle

The rose among the thorns

The queen who was dealt the worst hand

The queen with the most hardships to withstand

I think you're thinking of me

No there was definitely like a really important one

No yeah the really famous and controversial one who people actually care about

Yeah you know, THE ONE YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR

Woah woah woah

Wait what

Over my dead body

Yeah anyways I'm pretty sure it's my turn next

Yeah I had a daughter and he literally chopped my head off.

Yeah okay you're right, your right, I was lucky. Okay I was really lucky. I was in love, I just had a beautiful baby. Henry was happy cause then God it was an Edward and not an edwina, I was so excited. For his first steps, his first words, for not getting a good night sleep good three years. But I never got to see any of that. You know people say Henry was stone hearted, uncaring but I'm not sure he was?

Yeah actually come to think of it, there was this one really cute time when I had a daughter and he chopped my head off

Okay look, I know his times with the queens before me we're hard… but they were also full of fire. He tagged and stormed at them and because they are both absolute bad ass monarchs, they raged and stormed right back.

But I didn't do that. Instead, I stood by him like I was made of stone, I stood firm. No matter his flaws his tempers, no matter my doubts or fears I stayed there, by his side. And that's not because I was scared or weak or naive, it's because I loved him.

Finish song

Because what hurts more than a broken heart

Let's take a moment to check in with the competition. So who's still in the running? Will it be the devoted wife, the divorcee, or the one who actually had problems to deal with

Problems? My son had to deal with the loss of his mother.

Alright fine. How about: when my one and only child had a raging fever, Henry wouldn't even let me, her mother see her.

OH BOO HOO BABY MARY HAD THE CHICKEN POX AND YOU WEREN'T THERE TO HOLD HER HAND, YOU KNOW IT'S FUNNY CAUSE WHEN I WANTED TO HOLD MY NEWBORN SON I DIED

Woah woah woah

Ummm hold on, yeah you had it bad, but that was not the most heart wrenching song we've heard this evening

Uh sorry were you not listening to my song?? There were three choruses, that's how much she I had to deal with

Oh sorry yeah so true when you died your son did have to grow up without a mother…. Oh wait that was me and no one cared when you died.

Ooh, let's see what gets the biggest cheer, trauma or abuse??? Woohoo! Like should we really be doing this?

I mean we've literally been doing that for the last hour so…

You know what queens, she just knows she's not gonna win

So now she's trying to make us look stupid instead of playing by the rules like everyone else.

So basically, we’re stuck

What a waste of time

Aww we could have done that as a song

Ugh that would've tied things together so neatly

His continental campaigning

His religious reforms

Well we don't have one.

We wish we could tell you our lives had happy endings

We've decided to give you our own

Slightly edited version