Material - Ros Barber

What is Material about?

The poem is about grief and growing older, focusing on the speaker’s loss of her mother and, symbolically, an entire generation. It explores the passage of time and the speaker’s desire to slow it down, while also criticising modern consumerist society. The poem reflects on generational change, showing how the speaker’s children will not experience the same upbringing she had, highlighting the loss of past values and the inevitability of change.

Themes

• Grief

• Identity

• Society

• Family

• Change

What type and form is the poem?

Dramatic monologue and its a 9 stanza poem divided into uneven set of lines.

“My mother was a hanky queen
when hanky meant a thing of cloth,
not paper tissues bought in packs
from late-night garages and shops,
but things for waving out of trains
and mopping the corners of your grief:
when hankies were material
she’d have one, always, up her sleeve.”

• “My mother” – personal pronoun → emphasises the intimate, individual relationship between the speaker and her mother, immediately establishing a sentimental and personal tone.

• “hanky queen” – irony / metaphor → presents the mother humorously and affectionately; “queen” suggests admiration and importance, showing she is central to the speaker’s life rather than literally powerful.

• “when hanky meant a thing of cloth” – double meaning / symbolism → links to the title Material, suggesting both literal fabric and deeper emotional substance, implying the relationship was meaningful rather than superficial.

• “not paper tissues bought in packs / from late-night garages and shops” – contrast / critique of consumerism → contrasts reusable hankies with disposable tissues, highlighting how modern society prioritises convenience and consumption over care and longevity.

• “late-night garages and shops” – imagery / societal shift → suggests modern accessibility and changing priorities, where preparedness and thoughtfulness (symbolised by hankies) have been replaced by last-minute consumption.

• “but things for waving out of trains” – historical imagery / symbolism → evokes wartime or past generations (e.g. farewells), symbolising love, separation, and emotional connection.

• “and mopping the corners of your grief” – metaphor → presents the hanky as a symbol of emotional support, suggesting the mother’s role in comforting and caring.

• “when hankies were material” – pun / double meaning → reinforces both the literal fabric and the idea of emotional “substance,” contrasting with a more superficial modern world.

• “she’d have one, always, up her sleeve.” – caesura / adverb of certainty → “always” emphasises the mother’s constant presence and reliability, though it also subtly hints at how such moments are now lost with time.

• “grief / sleeve” – rhyme → creates a simple, almost childlike sound, reflecting the speaker’s childhood perspective and reinforcing the idea of the hanky as an early symbol of love and comfort. then the half rhyme shows the severed connections as she got a bit older

“Tucked in the wrists of every cardi,
a mum’s embarrassment of lace
embroidered with a V for Viv,
spittled and scrubbed against my face.
And sometimes more than one fell out
as is she had a farm up there
where dried-up hankies fell in love
and mated, raising little squares.”

• “cardi” – colloquial language → creates a homely, comforting tone associated with warmth and care, but also suggests age, highlighting the mother’s older generation.

• “a mum’s embarrassment of lace” – metaphor → reflects how children can feel embarrassed by their parents, showing a generational divide and the speaker’s later regret for not appreciating her mother.

• “embroidered with a V for Viv” – imagery / archaic detail → suggests traditional, personal craftsmanship, emphasising how such careful, meaningful acts are less common in modern society.

• “spittled and scrubbed against my face” – sibilance / plosives → emphasises the force and intimacy of the action, showing both the mother’s care and the child’s embarrassment at the time.

• “as if she had a farm up there” – personification / metaphor → humorously exaggerates the number of hankies, highlighting how important and ever-present they were.

• “where dried-up hankies fell in love / and mated, raising little squares” – extended metaphor / personification → creates a playful, childlike image, reflecting the speaker’s childhood perspective and reinforcing the idea of abundance and affection.

She bought her own; I never did.
Hankies were presents from distant aunts
in boxed sets, with transparent covers
and script initials spelling ponce,
the naffest Christmas gift you’d get –
my brothers too, more often than not,
got male ones: serious, and grey,
and larger, like they had more snot.

• “She bought her own; I never did.” – caesura / contrast → highlights the difference between mother and speaker, suggesting the speaker did not inherit the same level of care or thoughtfulness, reinforcing generational change.

• “She bought her own; I never did.” – first person pronouns → emphasises personal reflection and possible regret, showing emotional distance between past (mother) and present (speaker).

• “transparent covers” – imagery / symbolism → presented as something delicate and luxurious, reflecting the mother’s values and attention to detail, contrasting with modern practicality.

• “distant aunts” (implied through gifts) – characterisation → suggests a lack of true intimacy, paralleling how others don’t understand the speaker as deeply as her mother did.

• “my brothers too, more often than not, / got male ones: serious, and grey” – gender roles → highlights traditional expectations, contrasting decorative, emotional femininity with practical masculinity.

• “and larger, like they had more snot.” – humour / colloquial tone → adds light-heartedness while reinforcing gender stereotypes, and shows how hankies function as a shared family symbol despite differences.

“It was hankies that closed department stores,
with headscarves, girdles, knitting wool
and trouser presses; homely props
you’d never find today in malls.
Hankies, which demanded irons,
and boiling to be purified
shuttered the doors of family stores
when those who used to buy them died.”

• Personified hankies – personification / symbolism → the hankies represent the older generation and their values, once associated with homeliness, care, and emotional connection, but now outdated in a more practical, capitalist society focused on mass production.

• Infantilised hankies – metaphor → the older generation treat hankies with care and attention, almost like children, highlighting how traditional routines (washing, ironing) reflect love and effort, which the younger generation no longer values.

• “shuttered” family stores – imagery / symbolism → represents the decline of traditional family life and community, showing how modern society prioritises convenience over connection and shared time.

• “shuttered” – internal rhyme / tone → may reflect the speaker’s internal feelings of guilt and conflict, suggesting she recognises she hasn’t maintained the same values or level of care in raising her own children.

• Shift to modern living – contrast → highlights how parenting and lifestyles have changed, with less emphasis on bonding and more focus on efficiency and convenience.

• End-stopped line – end-stopping → creates a sense of finality, symbolising the end of an era: the loss of traditional values, family structures, and ultimately the speaker’s mother.

“And somehow, with the hanky’s loss,
greengrocer George with his dodgy foot
delivering veg from a Comma van
is history, and the friendly butcher
who’d slip an extra sausage in,
the fishmonger whose marble slab
of haddock smoked the colour of yolks
and parcelled rows of local crab”

• “with the hanky’s loss” – symbolism → suggests that the disappearance of hankies represents the loss of an entire generation’s values, not just an object but a way of life.

• “greengrocer George with his dodgy foot” – specific detail / characterisation → the use of a name and personal detail creates familiarity and community, showing close relationships that are now lost.

• “delivering veg from a Comma van” – proper noun / realism → grounds the memory in a specific time and place, reinforcing nostalgia and the authenticity of past community life.

• “is history” – short clause / finality → bluntly emphasises how this way of life has completely disappeared, reinforcing loss.

• “friendly butcher / slip an extra sausage in” – anecdote / generosity → highlights kindness and human connection, suggesting relationships were personal rather than transactional.

• “fishmonger… marble slab / haddock smoked the colour of yolks / parcelled rows of local crab” – sensory imagery / listing → vivid, almost nostalgic imagery celebrates traditional trade and craftsmanship, contrasting with modern mass production and convenience culture.

“lay opposite the dancing school
where Mrs White, with painted talons,
taught us When You’re Smiling from
a stumbling, out of tune piano:
step-together, step-together, step-together,
point! The Annual Talent Show
when every mother, fencing tears,
would whip a hanky from their sleeve
and smudge the rouge from little dears.”

• Dancing school memory – nostalgic reflection → the speaker’s emotional recollection highlights how moments from her childhood, like dancing lessons, belong to a past era that has now disappeared along with her mother’s generation.

• Teacher described with “talons” – zoomorphic imagery → reflects the speaker’s childlike perspective, exaggerating the teacher as slightly frightening or harsh, while also showing how memory is shaped by youth and imagination.

• Imperfect dances / routines – contrast → suggests that despite flaws, past experiences felt more meaningful and human, contrasting with the rigid, efficiency-driven nature of modern life.

• “when you’re smiling” - tragic undertone – irony → the idea of smiling contrasts with the underlying sadness, suggesting that even happy memories are now tinged with grief because they can’t be relived.

• “would whip” – alliteration → emphasises speed and readiness, showing how the hanky was always immediately available, symbolising the mother’s constant care and reliability.

• “step-together” repetition – repetition / phonetic effect → when read aloud it can feel awkward or stumbling, reflecting the speaker’s dependence on her mother for guidance and how, without her, she feels lost and unsteady.

“Nostalgia only makes me old.
The innocence I want my brood
to cling on to like ten-bob notes
was killed in TV’s lassitude.
And it was me that turned it on and eat
bought biscuits I would bake
if I’d commit to being home.”

• Short line (contrasting prev stanza) – structure / contrast → the abruptness contrasts with the flowing earlier stanza, signalling a shift in tone as the speaker moves from nostalgic reflection to confronting present reality.

• Shift away from nostalgia – tone change → the speaker stops dwelling on the past and faces the present, suggesting an awareness of ageing and a reluctance to romanticise things in a stereotypical way.

• Children’s innocence “killed” (simile of “ten bob notes”) – simile / symbolism → compares lost innocence to outdated currency, implying that childhood purity, like old money, has become obsolete in modern society.

• “freedom” of TV / modern media – contrast → highlights how children now have unlimited access to information, unlike the speaker’s childhood, suggesting both progress and loss of simplicity.

• Comparison between speaker and her mother – juxtaposition → the speaker contrasts her parenting (TV, bought biscuits) with her mother’s (homemade, attentive), emphasising generational change.

• Self-criticism as a parent – reflective tone → the speaker questions her own adequacy, revealing guilt and insecurity that she has not maintained the same values or level of care as her mother.

There’s never a hanky up my sleeve.
I raised neglected-looking kids,
the kind whose noses strangers clean.
What awkwardness in me forbids
me to keep tissues in my bag
when handy packs are 50p?
I miss material handkerchiefs,
their soft and hidden history.

• “There’s never a hanky up my sleeve.” – motif / negation → contrasts directly with her mother, highlighting absence and reinforcing the speaker’s sense of inadequacy and loss of tradition.

• “I raised neglected-looking kids” – loaded language → reveals the speaker’s guilt and self-criticism, suggesting she feels she has failed to meet her mother’s standard of care.

• “the kind whose noses strangers clean.” – imagery → emphasises discomfort and shame, showing how care has been outsourced, unlike the intimate maternal care she received.

• “What awkwardness in me forbids / me to keep tissues in my bag” – rhetorical question → reflects inner conflict and insecurity, as the speaker questions her own behaviour and limitations as a parent.

• “handy packs are 50p?” – consumerist reference → highlights modern convenience and affordability, contrasting with the emotional value of traditional items like hankies.

• “I miss material handkerchiefs, / their soft and hidden history.” – alliteration / symbolism → expresses deep nostalgia; hankies symbolise not just objects but love, care, and a lost past the speaker now longs for.

“But it isn’t mine. I’ll let it go.
My mother too, eventually,
who died not leaving handkerchiefs
but tissues and uncertainty:
and she would say, should I complain
of the scratchy and disposable,
that this is your material
to do with, daughter, what you will.”

• “But it isn’t mine. I’ll let it go.” – short sentence / declarative tone → shows the speaker’s reluctant acceptance that her mother’s values and traditions do not belong to her, marking a turning point from nostalgia to letting go.

• “My mother too, eventually” – euphemism / pause → softens the reference to death, reflecting emotional difficulty and reinforcing the gradual, inevitable loss of her mother.

• “not leaving handkerchiefs / but tissues and uncertainty” – symbolism / contrast → contrasts stability (hankies) with disposability (tissues), suggesting her mother ultimately passed on a world of change and instability rather than fixed traditions.

• “should I complain” – rhetorical question → reflects internal conflict, as the speaker questions whether she has the right to resist change.

• “scratchy and disposable” – adjectives / negative connotations → criticise modern life as uncomfortable and lacking emotional depth, reinforcing dissatisfaction with contemporary values.

• “this is your material / to do with, daughter, what you will.” – metaphor / cyclical structure → “material” symbolises both inheritance and life itself; the ending suggests each generation must shape its own identity, concluding with acceptance rather than resistance.