Relationship Psychology Final Exam Chapters 1-5

Close Relationships: Knowledge

• Extensive, personal, and mutual

Close Relationships: Caring

Feelings of affection

Close relationships: Mutuality

• Lives overlap

• Ex: relationship partners saying we instead of me or I

Close Relationships: Trust

• Expectation of others good intentions

Close Relationships: Responsiveness

• Being attentive to needs

Close Relationships: Commitment

• Relationship is indefinite

Fundamental need to belong

• All humans need to a certain minimum quantity of regular, satisfying social interactions

Criteria for a fundamental need

• Does it still exist even if it won’t be fulfilled?

• Does it have emotional consequences?

• Does it affect cognitive processing?

• Does it create ill effects if not met?

• Does it exists universally?

The cultural context: Fewer people getting married today

• 1960: 94%

• Today: 80%

The cultural context: Waiting longer to marry

• 1960: 20 for women and 23 for men

• Today:28 for women and 30 for men

The cultural context: Higher Rates of cohabitation

• 1960: 5%

• Today: 67%

• Negative correlation b/w cohabitation and marriage

• No correlation b/w cohabitation and dissolution

The cultural context: More babies out of wedlock

• 1960: 5%

• Today: 41%

• Average American mother has first child at 25

The cultural context: Higher divorce rates

• 1960: 25%

• Today: 50%

The cultural context: Religion

• Interfaith marriages more accepted

The cultural context: Ethnicity and race

• Different family structures

The cultural context: Socioencomic Status

• People from low SES less likely to divorce

The cultural context: Societal norms and laws

• Same-sex marriage

• Traditional gender roles have lower satisfaction

The cultural context: Sex Ratio

• Ratio of men for every 100 women

• Low-more women

• High-more men

-More traditional and rigid gender roles

-More sexually conservative

-Less Sexually permissive

Individual Difference: Personality difference and satisfaction

• Extraversion, agreeableness, and conscientiousness (regulation/ control impulses) positively correlated

• Openess to experience not correlated

• Neuroticism negatively correlated

Childhood attachment styles: Secure

• 60 Distressed at separation but soothed at reunion

Childhood attachment styles: Avoidant

• 20%

• Little distress at separation

Childhood attachment styles: Anxious

• 20%

• Extreme distress at separation but indifferent or hostile at reunion

Adult attachment: Anxiety about abandonment

• “I often wish that my partner’s feelings for me were as strong as my feelings for them

Adult attachment: Avoidance of intimacy

• What my partner starts to get close to me, I find myself pulling away”

Mikulancer et al. (2000-2002) Study

Attachment system is activated under threat

• Subliminally primed threat or neutral words

• Tested the accessibility of attachment related thoughts using lexical decision task

• If the attachment system is active, attachment related thoughts should be more accessible after primed with

Mikulancer et al. (2000-2002) Study Prime Neutral

• Step 1: Prime neutral (ex: hat)

• Step 2: Lexical decision task- word or nonword

  • Ex: Coffnee

  • Ex: Closeness

Mikulancer et al. (2000-2002) Study Prime threat

• Step 1: Prime threat (Ex: failure)

• Step 2: Lexical decision task

  • Ex: Love

  • Ex: Name of partner/ not

Mikulancer et al. (2000-2002) Study Results

• In threat traits (compared to neutral)

  • Faster to identify names of partners

  • Not nonwords or the names of others

• Faster to identify attachment related words

  • Ex: closeness, love

• Evidence adult attachment system is active and activated by threat

Two theoretical perspective: Prototype perspective

• attachment styles stable over time

Two theoretical perspective: Revionist perspective

• attachment styles change over time

Little, McNulty and Russell (2009) Study

• Avoidance unrelated to satisfaction among spouses reporting more frequent sex

• Anxiety unrelated to satisfaction among spouses reporting more sexual satisfaction

• Effects of attachment insecurity on satisfaction vary across the context of the relationship

Actor effects

• How each partner behaves toward others

Partner affects

• How other people behave toward each partner

Relationship affects

• Unique interaction between two partners > the sum of the parts

Daily experiences studies: Event

• contingent studies

  • Record completed after each event occurs

Daily experiences studies: Interval

• contingent studies

  • Record complied after each time unit

Daily experiences studies: Signal

• contingent studies

  • Record completed after each time signaled

Signal detection theory: Response Present- Stimulus is Present

Hit

Signal detection Theory: Response Present- Stimulus is absent

false alarm

Signal detection theory: Response absent - stimulus absent

correct rejection

Signal detection theory: Response absent - stimulus present

Miss

Dyadic reciprocity

desire that two people share with each other

Generalized reciprocity

People who desire others are desired in return

Direct rewards

• Pleasure experienced due to their presence

  • Ex: Enjoyable to look at beautiful people

  • Ex: We have fun together

  • Ex: Do Nice things for us

Indirect rewards

• Pleasure experienced in their presence

  • Ex: Associate them with other good things

  • Ex: Things we have in common

  • Ex: Things we both like

Stimulus value role theory

Women’s facial attractiveness

• Neonate features

  • Large eyes, small nose/chin, full lips

• Sexual maturity features

  • High and narrow check bones, broad smile, secondary sexual characteristics

Men’s facial attractiveness

• Masculinity

• Square Jaw

• Promiant chin

• Heavier eyebrows

• Facial Hair

  • Single women prefer more masculine looking men’s face

  • Committed women prefer more feminine looking men’s faces

Body attractiveness

• Waist to hip ratio (WHR) of .70 for women

  • Hourglass figure

• WHR of .90 for men

• Shoulder to hip ratio of 1,20 for men

  • V shaped body

• Height for men

• Lumbar curvature around 45 degrees for women

• More attracted to curve of spine than checks

• Preference for body size varies across cultures

• Preferences for body shape is universal

Li et al (2002) study

• Design your ideal mate with 20 mate dollars

• Choose from 10 possible traits

  • Ex: Attractiveness, intelligence, income, humor, friendliness

• Each mate dollar corresponds to 10% increase in that trait

  • Ex: 50th percentile =$3

Li et al (2002) study results

• Men spend more on attractiveness than other traits while women spent more equally on income/ intelligence

Provost et al (2008) study

• Heterosexual women at different points in menstrual cycle

• Rate how attracted to different “walkers”

• Women attracted to more masculine walks when ovulating

Miller and Maner (2008) study

• Men smell t-shirt worn by women at different points in cycle

• How pleasant is smell?

• Measured testosterone before and after smelling Preferred scent of ovulating women

• showed spike in testosterone after smelling shirt of ovulating woman

Pennebaker et al (1979) study

• closing time phenomenon

  • Men approached at 3 times throughout night to rate attractiveness of women at bar

Pennebaker et al (1979) study Results

Men in committed relationship rated women average throughout the night while single men rated women more attractive as it got closer to closing time.

Swann and Gill (1997) study

• Dating partners complete questionnaires

  • Ex: Sexual history, self-attributes, activities

• Perceiver rates partner, target rates self

• Perceiver rates how confident they were in their answers about partner

Swann and Gill (1997) study results

• The perceivers were more confident with knowing there partner but not more accurate

Impressions management tactics: Ingratiation

• seek acceptance and liking from others

Impressions management tactics: Self-promotion

• Recount accomplishments, public demos

Impressions management tactics: Intimidation

• Portray self as ruthless so others do things

Impressions management tactics: Supplication

• Portray self as weak to avoid obligations and elicit help from others

MacDonald and Ross (1999) Study

• P’s in <1 - year relationships, Ps parents, and Ps roommates

• Judge Ps relationship quality

• Estimates how long Ps relationship with last

• Measured how long relationship lasted

MacDonald and Ross (1999) Study Results

• There was not a huge difference between roommates and parents as far as relationship quality, but participants scored it way higher

MacDonald and Ross (1999) Study Length Months Results

• Roommates were less pessimistic than parents about relationships (said it wouldn’t last as long as parents thought). Participants scored it would last longer than both parents and roommates.

• Roommates were most accurate in terms of how long the relationship would last. Participants would always overestimate how long relationship would last

Strachman and Gabie (2006) study

• Ps completed social goals measure to determine type of motivation

• Ps read ambiguous social story about couple

• Reproduced story from memory

• Described the emotional tone of story

• Predicted future of characters

Strachman and Gabie (2006) study results

• Avoidant goals (motivation)

  • Remembered more negative sentences

  • Described the story in more negative tone

  • Thought future of characters was more bleak

• Approach goals were not related with

  • Greater memory of positive events

  • Seeing the story as more positive

  • Expecting more positive outcomes for couple

Interpersonal gap

when a sender’s intentions differ from the message that others receive

Visual dominance ratio VDR 40/60

• “Look speak” divided by “look-listen”

• High-status people tend to use a higher VDR than people of lower status 

• 60/40 rather than 40/60

Nonverbal communication: Zones of interpersonal distance / intimate zone

• Intimate zone: Front of chest to 1.5 feet away/ loving or hostile interactions

• Ex: kissing or punching someone

Nonverbal communication: Zones of interpersonal distance / Personal zone 

• 1.5 to 4 feet away/ interactions with family, friends, and some acquaintances

• Ex: Private conservation

Nonverbal communication: Zones of interpersonal distance/ Social zone

• 4 to 12 feet away/ businesslike interactions

• Ex: sitting across from interviewer

Nonverbal communication: Zones of interpersonal distance/ Public zone

• 12 + feet away/ structured/ structured interactions

• Ex: Professor lecturing to class

Social penetration theory

• As relationship develop, partners increase two aspects of self-disclosure

• Breath is variety of topics they discuss

• Depth is the personal significance of topics they discuss

Verbal Communication: Self-disclosure 

• The process of revealing personal info about oneself to someone else

Misinformation

• unhappy partners don’t say what they mean

• Rarely precise with companies or concerns

• Use indirect vs. direct methods

• Prone to kitchen-sinking: address several topics at once

• Cause primary complaint to get lost

• Conversation frequently drift off-beam: wander from topic to topic

Lack of hearing

• Rarely double -check understanding of message

• Jump to conclusion with mind reading

• Wrongly assume that they understand

• Perceive unpleasant motives when others exist

• Frequently interrupt to disagree or change topic

• Yes-butting: Find faults with anything partner says

• Communicates criticism of partner’s POV

• Cross-complaining: Fail to acknowledge partner’s concerns

• Respond to Partners complain w/ their own

Display negative affect

• Criticism attacks a partners character

• Contempt uses mockery and insults

• Defensiveness leads to excuses or counter attacks

• Stonewalling occurs when someone withdraws

• Belligerence aggressively rejects the other

Descriptive language: Behavior description

• Identify a specific behavior that annoyed us

• Focuses on discrete, manageable behaviors 

• Rather than relatively stable, personality flaws

• Avoid using words like “always” or “never”

I statement

• Start with “I” and than describe a distinct, specific, emotional reaction

• Ex: “I feel annoyed right now” instant of

XYZ statements

• Behaviors descriptions plus I-statements

• Ex: “When you do x in situation y, I feel Z

Active listening

• 4 tasks as listener

• Try to accurately understand message 

• Display that we are attending to message 

• communicate we comprehend message

• Demonstrate we care about message 

Paraphrasing

• Repeat message in own words

• Gives sender chance to agree that’s what they intended or meant

• Don’t assume they understand message

• Helps to avoid arguments and conflict

Perception checking

• Opposite of mindreading

• Asses accuracy of inferences about feelings

• Ask for clarification and feedback

• Communications attention and interest

• Encourages partners to be more open

Forgiveness

• Intentional and voluntary process in which a person who feels wronged gives up perceived right to get even or hold someone in their debt

Forgiveness two components: Motivation must shift on an intrapersonal level

• The wronged partner wants to be kind to the other person rather than feel anger

• Behavior must shift on an interpersonal level

• The wronged partner lets the other know they no longer feel anger 

Slient forgiveness

• motivation only

Hollow forgiveness

• Behavior only

Full Forgiveness

• Both components reached