Factors affecting attraction in relationships ( self disclosures )

what is self disclosure

• refers to the process of revealing personal information about oneself to another person.

• We reveal more to people we like, and we also like people who reveal information to us more

• best when reciprocal - self disclosure creates a sense of trust when the information disclosed is kept secret

• crucial element to the early stages of a romantic relationship

This can include:

• Feelings

• Thoughts

• Experiences

• Beliefs

• Fears and ambitions

In romantic relationships, self-disclosure is thought to increase intimacy, trust, and attraction.

theories about self-disclosures in romantic relationships ( SPT)

Social Penetration Theory (Altman & Taylor, 1973)

Social Penetration Theory (SPT) explains how relationships develop through gradual increases in self-disclosure.

The theory uses the onion metaphor:

Outer layers = superficial information

Inner layers = deeper, more intimate information

As disclosure increases, the relationship becomes more intimate.

• gradual process of revealing your inner self to someone

• In romantic relationships, it involves the reciprocal exchange of information between partners

• when you reveal more - it displays trust - to go further the partner must also reveal sensitive information

• you gain a greater understanding of each other

breadth and depth of self-disclosures ( Altman and Taylor) - 1973

• breadth - at the start of the relationship, we disclose a lot of superficial ‘ on the surface ‘ information

• depth - as the relationship develops, self-disclosure becomes deeper and more intimate, and high-risk information is shared

• As the breadth and depth of self-disclosure increase, romantic partners become more committed to each other

Breadth of Self-Disclosure

• Refers to the range of topics discussed

• Early relationships involve wide but shallow disclosure

• Example: hobbies, music, favourite films

➡ Breadth increases first

Depth of Self-Disclosure

• Refers to how personal or intimate the information is

• Increases as trust develops

• Example: fears, past trauma, insecurities

➡ Depth increases later

reciprocity of self-disclosure - Reis and Shaver (19980

• Disclosure must be reciprocal

• Once you have disclosed something that reveals your true self, hopefully, your partner will respond in a rewarding way, with understanding, empathy, and their own intimate thoughts and feelings

• This leads to a balance of self-disclosure between both partners, depending on the relationship

• Self-disclosure must be mutual

• One person discloses → the other responds at a similar level

• If one person discloses too much too soon, it can damage attraction

Reciprocity maintains balance and trust in the relationship.

When self-disclosure isn’t effective

• Appropriateness of the self-disclosure.

  
  Disclosing personal information at inappropriate times would not be helpful (e.g. disclosing highly personal info on a first date).

  
  

• Attributions for the disclosure.

  
  If we believe an individual is the type to disclose information to everyone, it would not feel special. Conversely, if a very private individual opens up to us, it makes us feel valued.

• Gender differences

Women are regarded as more interested in personal information so are likely to be attracted to men who make personal disclosures.

Content of the disclosure

• There is a balance to self-disclosures. Too personal information could make people feel uncomfortable (e.g. admitting to a murder) whilst low disclosures will not help attraction take place. 

  
  

research for self disclosures

KLEINKE:

Found that individuals who were perceived as more selective about who they disclosure information to were seen as more attractive. It would make the recipient feel more valued and special, supporting the idea that self-disclosures play a key role in fostering attraction in the early stages of relationships.

KITO:

Kito looked into possible cultural differences between Japanese and American students. It was found that self-disclosure was higher in both cultural groups in romantic relationships, compared to same sex friendships and cross-sex friendships, suggesting that this is a universal behaviour in romantic relationships across differing cultures.

evaluations for self disclosures

Research Support (Strength)

Point:
A strength of self-disclosure as a factor affecting attraction is that there is empirical research support.

Evidence:
For example, Sprecher and Hendrick (2004) collected data from heterosexual romantic couples and found a positive correlation between levels of self-disclosure and relationship satisfaction.

Elaborate:
Couples who engaged in greater and more reciprocal self-disclosure reported stronger feelings of intimacy and commitment, supporting the predictions of social penetration theory.

Link back:
This research increases the credibility of self-disclosure as an important factor in attraction and relationship development.

Face Validity (Strength)

Point:
Self-disclosure has high face validity as an explanation of attraction in romantic relationships.

Evidence:
Most couples can relate to the idea that early conversations and sharing personal information help build closeness and trust.

Elaborate:
It seems logical that revealing personal thoughts and feelings allows partners to understand each other better, strengthening emotional bonds.

Link back:
This supports the theory by suggesting that self-disclosure plays at least a partial role in the development of attraction.

Practical Applications: Relationship Therapy (Strength – PEEL)

Point:
A strength of self-disclosure as a factor affecting attraction is that it has valuable practical applications in relationship counselling and therapy.

Evidence:
For example, relationship counsellors often use communication skills training to encourage partners to engage in open, honest, and reciprocal self-disclosure.

Elaborate:
By helping couples express their thoughts and feelings more effectively, therapy can increase intimacy, trust, and mutual understanding, which reflects the principles of social penetration theory. This is particularly useful for couples experiencing conflict due to poor communication or emotional distance.

Link back:
The successful use of self-disclosure in relationship therapy supports the idea that self-disclosure plays an important role in maintaining and strengthening romantic relationships, increasing the theory’s practical value.

Low Explanatory Power (Limitation)

Point:
A limitation of self-disclosure is that it has low explanatory power because it ignores the role of initial physical attraction.

Evidence:
Research consistently shows that physical attractiveness is one of the strongest predictors of attraction in the early stages of romantic relationships.

Elaborate:
Without initial physical attraction, opportunities for self-disclosure may never occur, meaning self-disclosure alone cannot fully explain why relationships begin.

Link back:
This suggests that self-disclosure is only one factor influencing attraction, reducing the overall explanatory power of the theory.

Unclear Universality (Limitation)

Point:
Another limitation is that social penetration theory may lack universality.

Evidence:
Much of the research, including Sprecher and Hendrick’s study, focuses on heterosexual couples in Western cultures.

Elaborate:
This means the theory may not generalise to all types of relationships, such as homosexual relationships or relationships in collectivist cultures where self-disclosure may be less valued.

Link back:
As a result, further research is needed before self-disclosure can be considered a universal explanation of attraction.

Deterministic & Linear Explanation (Optional Extra AO3)

Point:
Social penetration theory assumes that relationship development follows a linear and predictable pattern.

Evidence:
The theory suggests disclosure always gradually increases in breadth and depth over time.

Elaborate:
In reality, relationships may progress rapidly, stall, or even regress, with levels of disclosure fluctuating due to conflict or life events.

Link back:
This oversimplifies relationship development, limiting the theory’s explanatory value

Self-Disclosure: Content May Prevent Attraction (Limitation – PEEL)

Point:
A limitation of self-disclosure as a factor affecting attraction is that it may not always strengthen relationships because the content of the disclosure can reduce attraction rather than increase it.

Evidence:
For example, disclosing highly negative, socially unacceptable, or emotionally intense information too early in a relationship may make the other person uncomfortable.

Elaborate:
Although social penetration theory emphasises the importance of increasing depth of self-disclosure, it fails to account for the fact that what is disclosed is just as important as how much is disclosed. Early disclosure of past trauma, extreme insecurities, or controversial views may overwhelm a partner and lead to rejection rather than increased intimacy.

Link back:
This suggests that self-disclosure does not automatically lead to attraction and therefore weakens social penetration theory as a complete explanation of relationship development.