aunt eller lines (pray for me)

end of song

Whut're you doin' round here?

end of song again

If I wasn't an ole womern, and if you wasn't so young and smart alecky - why, I'd marry you and git you to set around at night and sing to me.

Curly: No, you wouldn't neither. Cuz I wouldn't marry you ner none of yer kinfolks, I could he'p it.

Oh, none of my kinfolks, huh?

Curly: Aunt Eller, if you was to tell me where Laurey was at - whur would you tell me she was at?

I wouldn't tell you a-tall. Fer as I c'n make out, Laurey ain't payin' you no heed.

Curly: Who's the best bronc buster in this yere territory?

You, I bet.

Curly: And looky here, I'm handsome, ain't I?

Purty as a pitcher.

Curly: And bow - legged from the saddle fer god knows how long, ain't I?

Couldn't stop a pig in the road.

Curly: Well, whut else does she want then, the damn she-mule?

I don't know. But I'm shore certain it ain't you. Who you takin' to the Box Social tonight?

Curly: Ain't thought much about it.

Bet you come over to ast Laurey.

Curly: Whut 'f I did?

You astin' me too? I'll wear my fascinator.

Curly: (Sings) In the slickest gig you ever see!

Lands!

Curly: (Sings) Fer that shiny little surrey with the fringe on the top!

(sing) Would y'say the fringe was made of silk?

Curly: (Sings) One's like snow - the other's more like milk.

So y'can tell 'em apart!

Curly: (Sings) In that shiny little surrey with the fringe on the top.

Y'd shore fell like a queen settin' up in that carriage.

Laurey: Who'd want to ride 'longside of you anyway?

Whyn't you jist grab her and kiss her when she acts that-a-way, Curly? She's just achin' fer you to, I bet.

Laurey: Oh, I won't even speak to him, let alone 'low him to kiss me, the braggin', bow-legged, wish't-he-had-a sweetheart bum! (Exits)

She likes you - quite a lot.

CY: Y'git the wagon hitched up?

Whut wagon?

KORB: Curly said mebbe you'd loan us yer big wagon to bring 'em up from the station.

Course I would, if he'd ast me.

JESSE: See whut we brung you, Aunt Eller!

Hi, Will!

Will: Hi, Aunt Eller!

What happened up at the fair? You do any good in the steer ropin'?

Slim: Always knowed y'would.

Ain't nobody c'n sling a rope like our territory boys.

Will: Don't you remember, her paw said 'f I ever was worth fifty dollars I could have her.

Fifty dollars! That whut they give you fer prize money?

Will: That's whut!

Lands, if Ado Annie's paw keeps his promise we'll be dancin' at yer weddin'.

Will: They call it "The Little Wonder"!

Silly goats! (Looks) The hussy! . . . Ought to be ashamed of herself. You, too! . . . How do you turn the thing to see the other pitcher? (Looks) Wait, I'm gettin' it . . I'm a good mind to tell Ado Annie on yer. (laughs)

Will: Please don't, Aunt Eller. She wouldn't understand.

No tellin' what you been up to. Bet you carried on plenty in Kansas City.

Will: (Sings) And a strange womern started in to talk!

Whut next!

Will: this is the __…C'mon

(Sings) and that's about as fur as I c'n go!

Curly: Listen, who's the low, filthy sneak 'at Laurey's got her cap set for?

You.

Curly: And she shorely leans to one of 'em. Now don't she?

Well, they is that fine farmer, Jace Hutchins, jist this side of Lone Ellum - Nen thet ole widder man at Claremore, makes out he's a doctor or a vet'nary.

Jud: Hello, yourself.

Nen of course there's someone nearer home that's got her on his mind most of the time, till he don't know a plow from a thrashin' machine.

Curly: Him?

Yeah, Jud Fry.

Curly: That bullet-colored, growly man?

Now don't say nuthin' agin him! He's the best hired hand I ever had. Jist about runs the farm by hisself. Well, two women couldn't do it, you orta know that.

Curly: Laurey'd take up 'th a man like that!

I ain't said she's tuck up with him.

Curly: Well, he's around all the time, ain't he? Lives here.

Out in the smokehouse.

Curly: And if you make up a nice box of lunch, mebbe I'll bid fer it.

How we goin', Curly? In that rig you made up? I'll ride a-straddle of them lights a-winkin' like lightnin' bugs!

Curly: I h'ard it over to Claremore.

Lands, you did?

Curly: (Exits)

Hey, Curly, tell all the girls in Bushyhead to stop by here and freshen up. It's a long way to Skidmore's. (Pauses, looks at Laurey) That means we'll have a lot of company. Better pack yer lunch hamper.

Laurey: Aunt Eller, don't go to Skidmore's with Curly tonight. If you do, I'll have to ride with Jud all alone.

That's the way you wanted it, ain't it?

Laurey: No. I did it becuase Curly was so fresh

You crazy young 'un! Stop actin' like a chicken with its head cut off! (hears voices) Now who'd you reckon that is drove up? Why, it's that old peddler! The one that sold me that eggbeater!

Laurey: He's got Ado Annie with him! Will Parker's Ado Annie!

Ole peddler! You know whut he he tol' me? Tol' me that eggbeater ud beat up eggs, and wring out dishrags, and turn the ice-cream freezer, and I don't know whut all!

Laurey: Yoohoo! Ado Annie!

Hold yer horses, Peddler-man! I want to talk to you!

Ado Annie: Hi, Aunt Eller.

Hi, yourself.

Ali: If the eggbeater won't work I give you something just as good!

Jist as good! It's got to be a thousand million times better!

Ali: Now, Aunt Eller just lissen-

I ain't yer Aunt Eller! Don't you call me Aunt Eller, you little wart. I'm mad at you.

Ali: Ain't I said I'd give you a present? Something to wear.

Foot! Got things fer to wear. Wouldn't have it. Whut is it?

Ali: Real silk. Made in Persia!

Whut'd I want with a ole Persian garter?

Ado Annie: They look awful purty Aunt Eller, with bows onto 'em and all.

I'll try 'em on.

Ali: Hold out your foot.

Did you have any idy I was goin' ter let you slide that garter up my limb? Grab onto my petticoats, Laurey.

Ado Annie: Yeh, cuz that 'ud make her stockins fall down, wouldn't it?

Now give me the other one.

Ali: Oh, you want to buy this one to match?

Whut do you mean do I want to buy it?

Ali: I can let you have it for fifty cents - four bits.

Do you want me to get that eggbeater and ram it down your windpipe!

Laurey: Want perfume, wanta be purty, wanta smell like a honeysuckle vine!

Give her a cake of soap.

Ali: It's a secret formula, belonged to Pharaoh's daughter!

Smellin salts!

Ali: Two bits.

Throwin' away yer money!

Ali: You know, with lace around the bottom, and ribbons runnins in and out.

You mean fancy drawers?

Ali: All made in Paris.

Well, I never wear that kind myself, but I shore do like to look at 'em.

Ado Annie: Yeah, they's all right - if you ain't goin' no place.

Bring yer trappins inside and mebbe I c'n find you sumpin to eat and drink.

ALL enter

Hey, Curly! Better take the wagon down to the troft and give the team some water.

Laurey: Whut'd I keer about that?

Come on boys, better git these hampers out under the trees where it's cool.

Gertie: Ain't she funny!

Gertie! Better come inside, and cool off.

Laurey: Never did see anybody get so peeked-lookin' in sich a short time.

Yeah, and she says she's only eighteen. I betcha she's nineteen!

Laurey: Your eyes mustn't glow like mine - (begins crying)

Got yer hamper packed?

Laurey: Oh, Aunt Eller . . . yes, nearly.

Like a hanky?

Laurey: Whut'd I want with a ole hanky?

(Hands her a hanky) Y'got a smudge on yer cheek - jist under yer eye.

Everyone sings: Cowboys, dance with the farmers' daughters! Farmers, dance with the ranchers' gals!

(Sings) I'd like to say a word fer the cowboy. . .

Farmer: Oh, you would!

(Sings) The roads he treads is difficult and stony. He rides fer days on end. With jist a pony fer a friend. . . .

Ado Annie: I shore am feelin' sorry fer the pony.

(Sings) The farmer should be sociable with the cowboy, If he rides by and asks fer food and water. Don't treat him like a louse, Make him welcome in yer house.

Shoots the gun, ends the fight.

They ain't nobody goin' to slug out anythin'. This here's a party! (Points gun at Carnes) Sing it, Andrew! Dum tiddy um tum tum -

Ike: The farmer and the cowman and the merchant must all behave like brothers.

I'd like to teach you all a little sayin' - and learn these words by heart the way you should: " I don't say I'm no better than anybody else, but I'll be damned if I ain't jist as good!"

All: Aunt Eller!

Let one of the men be the auctioneer.

Crowd: No, Aunt Eller, yore the best! (etc.)

All right then. Now you know the rules, gentleman. Y'got to bid blind. Y'ain't s'posed to know whut girl goes with whut hamper. Of course if yer sweetheart has told you that hers'll be done up in a certain kind of way with a certain color ribbon, that ain't my fault. Now we'll auction all the hampers on t'other side of the house and work around back here. Follow me.

Ali: Say, young feller, you certainly bunkoed me! (Scene change, Aunt Eller enters)

Now, here's the last two hampers. Whose they air I ain't got no idy!

Ado Annie: The little un's mine! And the one next to it is Laurey's!

Well, that's the end of that secret. Now whut am I bid fer Ado Annie's hamper?

audrey: Four.

Or six..what about you peddler man? six bits?

Ali: Six bits!

Six bits ain't enough fer a lunch like Ado Annie c'n make. Le's hear a dollar. How about you, Ike? You won her last year.

Ado Annie: You bet.

Same old sweet-pertater pie, Ike. Whut d'you say?

Mike: I say it gave me a three day belly-ache!

Never mind about that. Who bids a dollar?

Ali: Ninety cents.

Ninety cents, we're gittin' rich. 'Nother desk fer th' schoolhouse. Do I hear more?

Ali: Hey!

Fifty dollars! Nobody ever bid fifty dollars for a lunch! Nobody ever bid ten.

Will: Now wait a minute. That ain't fair!

Goin' fer fifty dollars! Goin' . . .

Will: Wait! 'F I don't bid any more I c'n keep my money, cain't I?

Shore can.

Carnes: You feeble-minded shike-poke!

Goin, goin', gone fer yer fifty-one dollars

Ali: A three day bellyache!

Now here's my niece's hamper. I took a peek inside a while ago and I must say it looks mighty tasty. Whut do I hear, Gents?

Fred: Four bits!

Or Six?

Carnes: I bid one dollar.

More like it! Do I hear two?

Jud: And two bits.

I got a bid of four and a quarter - from Jud Fry. You goin' to let him have it?

Carnes: Four and a half.

Four and a half! Goin' fer four and a half! Goin'-

Jud: Four seventy-five.

Four seventy-five. Come on, gentleman. Schoolhouse ain't built yet. Got to git a nice chimbley.

Cord Ellam: Five dollars.

Goin' fer five dollars! Goin' -

Cord Ellam: Too rich for my blood! Cain't afford no more.

Five and a quarter! Ain't got nearly enough yet. Not fer cold duck with stuffin' and that lemon meringue pie.

Carnes: Six dollars!

Six dollars! Goin!-

Jud: And two bits.

My, you're stubborn, Jud. Andrew is a richer man'n you. And I know he likes custard with raspberry syrup. Anybody goin' to bid anymore?

Jud: Here's the money.

Hold on, you! I ain't said, "Goin, goin, gone" yet!

Jud: Well, say it!

Goin' to Jud Fry fer six dollars and two bits! Goin' . . .

Curly: Who'd you say was gittin' Laurey?

Jud Fry.

Curly: And fer how much?

Six and a quarter.

Curly: Aunt Eller I'm biddin' all of this ten dollars Joe jist give me.

Ten dollars - goin' . . .

Jud: Ten dollars and two bits.

Curly . . .

Curly: I'll sell Dun to you. That makes the bid thirty-five, Aunt Eller.

Curly, yer crazy! But it's all fer the schoolhouse, ain't it? All fer educatin' and larnin'. Goin' fer thirty-five. Goin'-

Curly: That makes my bid fifty-three dollars, Aunt Eller. Anybody going any higher?

Goin'-goin'-GONE! Whut's the matter with you folks? Ain't nobody gonna cheer er nuthin'?