Tony Robbins - UPW Lecture Notes

A set of vocabulary flashcards derived from the key concepts discussed in Tony Robbins' UPW lecture.

Energy is a habit

The idea that the way we use our energy is determined by repeated actions, influencing our mindset and state.

Focus

where focus goes, energy flows.
Patterns of focus

-what you have vs whats missing

-what you control vs what you can’t

-focusing on the past vs present / future

Emersion learning

Information alone is not retained information + emotion = retention

Limiting beliefs

False or irrational beliefs that restrict personal growth and prevent individuals from achieving their potential.

-I’m not possible living in a calm and beautiful state 

-I’m not smart enough to achieve my goals. 

-I won’t find someone who loves me unconditionally.

-I don’t deserve what I have because I didn’t fully earn it. 

-I give up too easily on things. 

-I’ll never find my purpose. 

-These are things that I have certainty about that are COMPLETE BULLSHIT

-impossible to live in a beautiful state when you have all of these limiting beliefs beliefs carry with them consequences

-not only in regards to what it’s cost you in the past, but what it will cost you in the future if you continue to maintain them

Suffering

-most suffering comes from focusing on you once you make it not about yourself the suffering disappears

-A lot of suffering is your opinion and feelings about other people's behavior.

-It’s not their actions. It’s your judgment and desire for control that causes your suffering

The 90-second rule

The practice of allowing negative emotions to pass within 90 seconds, after which one can choose their response.
It is completely normal to feel negative emotions 

-however we have complete control over our focus and energy in regards to how long we let those emotions fester

-similar to Sam Harris. We can dictate the half-life of those emotions.

Physiology first

The principle that changing one's physical state can lead to alterations in emotions and mental state.
-change your physical state and it will change your emotional state.

-You can’t get out of your mind with your mind

The Triad

The interaction between:

1. language

2. focus

3.body posture

combination of 3 that influences one's emotional state.

Mastery keys

Strategies like modeling, total immersion, and spaced repetition that enhance learning and skill acquisition.

Emotional home

The habitual emotional state in which a person operates, encompassing their dominant feelings and reactions.

-Need to learn to change our negative emotional home (hopeless lonely, frustrated, anxious) to a positive one (empowering, curious, loving, playful, courageous, passionate, grateful

-If we are consistently feeling the same emotions (anxiety, hopelessness) we are probably using the same recipe ingredients + quantity + order + intensity / duration

-if you’re feeling depressed, observe your body language, your heart rate the way you breathe notice these differences and change them 

-when you feel uncertain, shallow breathing, shoulders shrugged, lower voice  vs when you feel certain shoulders back, head up chest out, power pose

When Fearful Focus on Gratitude

-Positive and negative emotions cannot coexist at the same time past experiences especially negative ones are lessons 

-be appreciative, and grateful for life

 “gratitude is the bridge from despair to Hope “

“Most people major in minor things”

Power of language

The impact that words have on thoughts and perceptions, shaping reality and emotional responses.

Six human needs

The fundamental motivations that drive all human behavior:

-certainty, variety, significance, connection/love, growth, and contribution

-Not everyone values all six needs the same, and we have different ways of meeting these needs somewhere constructive i.e. working out some destructive ie smoking

-It’s important to acknowledge your current top two needs 

-certainty + feeling of significance

Progress = happiness

The idea that true fulfillment comes from growth and moving forward rather than just achieving set goals.

Hawaiian practice of forgiveness

A method of reconciliation involving the phrases 'I'm sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you'.

Living in a beautiful state

The conscious choice to cultivate positive emotions and reactions regardless of external circumstances.

-LIVING IN A BEAUTIFUL STATE IS A MOMENT TO MOMENT DECISION

-once you recognize it, you have control over it

-having a negative outlook affects everyone around you and negatively affects the care of people that you want to help the most - which is why it’s a MUST - ITS BIGGER THAN YOU

- LIVING IN A BEAUTIFUL STATE is the only way to help others that are suffering

Master Ko's principle

We are spiritual beings, having a physical experience, not the opposite

-you are not your emotions you create them you are not your thoughts

-you are pure energy, - learn to separate yourself from your thoughts and emotions

-you’re not punished for your anger, but by your anger

“whoever triggers you owns you”

- you must choose to observe rather than react

fixing yourself first

it’s hard to give something you don’t have yourself. Can’t fix the world without fixing yourself first

Control

Can’t control external world, but all hell can be breaking loose around you and you can get control your reaction

Cycle of History

good times create weak people ➡weak people create bad times ➡bad times create strong people ➡ strong people create good times

Keys to a good life

-Good sleep, diet, exercise, meditation/breath practice

-freedom from anxiety

-fulfilling romantic relationship

-sports - tennis, basketball rollerblading 

-early to bed early to rise 

-finishing the workday by 5 PM 

-staying present and having a structured day 

-meals and quality time with friends and family 

-time spent in nature

What negative thing do I when triggered?

-feeling frozen, lost, hopeless, shallow breathing, inability to take action 

what would be a more empowering alternative ?

-staying present, not letting negative emotions linger 

-being grateful

Stress

-based in fear which is often not based in reality, creating unnecessary suffering

-Based on our ancestral brain which doesn’t serve us most of the time

-replacing the stress response by focusing on gratefulness, appreciation and presence

Problems with Western Culture

a fear based culture focused on what you need to achieve how much money you make etc  but once you get there, it will never be enough. “I’ll be happy when…” you won’t 

-once you reach your goal, how long is that good feeling last? not very 

-need to shift your model of the world-YOU ARE ALREADY ENOUGH

How we experience life

-we don’t objectively experience life, it is distorted through the lens of the story we give it 

-rushing around, trying to solve things that we think are going to make us be somebody but we ignore that we are already somebody for those around us

Relationships

-take the focus away from ourselves and focus on the other 

-stay calm and connected 

-we speed up because we are afraid 

-all this fear is about you focusing inward on yourself 

-but focusing outward on others is where the real meaning and happiness comes from

-your heart has the answers, your head does not

 Science of achievement

2.massive action - effective execution, modeling others for best practices

1.Focus - absolute clarity and commitment “where focus goes energy flows”

3.Grace - luck favors the prepared mind putting out good energy, You will receive it in return

Finding Fulfillment

“Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure“ if you keep achieving achieving aimlessly, it is all pointless “the road to someday leads to a town called nowhere”

Fulfillment comes from:

1.Growth (getting better at something)

2.Giving 

3.Making decisions (decision comes from the word incision - to cut out - cutting out the noise and focusing

Choosing your state

-if you’re happiness is tide to things having to be a certain way, you’ll never be happy 

-commit to being in “a beautiful state”

the downstream effects are everything else

-If fear were no longer a part of your life, a state without blame, without the need for control or grasping onto something

-expansive vs contracting

-you could clearly see problems & solve more quickly 

-being a source of happiness for others

-You can ALWAYS find something to be appreciative for as long as you can breath 

-easy to do when things are going well much harder to do when things are going “bad “

-living in a negative state doesn’t serve me!

-living in a beautiful state is my natural state!

Freeing Yourself from Triggers

-fight the narrative that we are fragile and everyone has to agree with us.

-Don’t give your emotional state over to someone else.

-when feeling anxious or lost break out of it by focusing on curiosity, empathy, gratitude, and breath

-turn the trigger into a source of happiness ie if a train goes by instead of being annoyed, reframe it as if you were a child and celebrate it

Two Universal Fears

1.that we are not enough 

2.and if we’re not enough, we won’t be loved

-Love is the core of our existence. It’s the reason humans have a longest gestation period - depending on our parents to take care of us, more than any other animal

Getting into PeakState

• change your physical state by using your power pose, dance 

• reinforce your new identity with a mantra 

• Remind yourself of gratitude 

• who do you love? Lai sio, chio, Montey, Aaron, Yaeir 

  What do you love? Tennis, basketball rollerblading, time w friends

• Power poses increase testosterone decrease cortisol increased being confident with a strong posture strong voice creates chemical changes that reinforce your confidence

Quality of your life

Meaning + Emotion

-by changing the meaning we can change our emotions which will increase the quality of our lives

Certainty

when you’re uncertain about something important, nothing else seems to matter.

Variety

if everything was 100% predictable we’d be bored (if you want every time at the casino, it wouldn’t be fun)

Significance

We all desire to feel like we matter in this world

Connection & Love

most people settle for connection because love makes you vulnerable to being hurt. We need love, but are only open to it once we feel significant enough to deserve it

Growth

we grow or we die. fundamental human desire for learning & development

Contribution

we want to give to others

What should your top two needs be to take your life to the next step?

-Love + Contribution

Often our current needs are simply long-standing patterns we’ve taken for granted as us but is really just old conditioning. Get rid of need for Certainty + Significance

-we need to get rid of old conditioning and replace it with our new intentional focus (love and contribution)

Creating Lasting Change

-we must believe that change is possible now, not in the future 

-that you need to change now 

-take ownership 

-you can change now (just bc you failed in the past doesn’t mean anything. our beliefs are not fixed or inherent to us!

Keys to change

1.getting leverage - failure to change will create lots of pain 

2. pattern interrupt, destroy the limiting beliefs.

3. create a replacement with a new pattern, reinforce it until it becomes a habit.

Momentum = Forward motion with emotion

1. get into peak state  

2. Decide, commit, resolve 

3. Take massive action

Closing The Gap

we have a tendency to pick a category of our life like Finance where you’re already good at and make it even better because that fulfills our human desire for certainty, but really need to be honest with ourselves and pick the categories where we are the lowest

Proximity is Power

-find a pure group that challenges you that doesn't just tell you what you want to hear what you need to hear. 

-Look for people that excel in areas that you look up to 

-don’t take your default peer Group as a given, be deliberate about who you choose. 

Connection and Trust

-building rapport 

-much more important than the words you say are the volume tonality physiology, hand movements that you use 

-people like people who are like themselves or how they would like to be 

-use of matching and mirroring 

-copy intensity, language that they use 

-people will not be receptive to your info until you match their energy

2MM Shift

-we can be so close to having a breakthrough and just need a minor shift 

-ie in golf, if the face of the club if 2 mm off is the difference between a bad shot and a great shot

-because of the power law, the winnings all go to the outstanding not the good the difference between gold medal and no medal less than one second

Priming & Framing

-when shown IBM v apple commercial led to a direct change and creativity.

-Don’t let the world prime you (news, fear, junk) need to prime yourself.

Find people you admire qualities in and prime yourself with their behaviors 

-“who you surround yourself with is who you become”

Can you create certainty within yourself?

-Fuck yes

- make your power move! Karate horse stance 

-The only certainty is a certainty you create within yourself. Nothing is certain in the world which is why we need to create an internal state of certainty. It’s already in you. You just need to unleash it 

-turn on “beast mode” 

-anxiety v excitement - similar feelings, different mental framing 

-change is the only thing guaranteed when it happens to you, you feel like a victim instead be the owner of change

Dickinson method

-change is not a matter of ability. It’s a matter of drive, will and reasons -anyone can change with leverage power of association. If you get very sick from drinking gin, you’ll never drink gin again

Values

-emotional states that I believe are the most important to experience ex) love, joy, security, peace, freedom, adventure, passion

-if one person values something much more than another person they will not be compatible

Replacing your limiting beliefs 

-i’ll never find love ➡ I have so much love to give somebody would be lucky. 

-I don’t deserve financial success bc I didn’t earn it all myself ➡ There’s always someone born richer or poor. We can’t control our circumstances. Only what we do with them.

Anxiety

-rooted in my need for control

-let go of control and set yourself free. give yourself up to the beauty of the world and the uncertainty that comes with it. Are you dying to live or living to die?

Decisions

-Should be made quickly, not from a place of fear and from your gut

Keys to Mastery

-average people hope fear and dabble you will never be fulfilled by dabbling, go deep!

1.modeling - learn from the best -anticipation is the ultimate power -leaders anticipate losers react -repetition is the master skill

knowing something = ego doing it is how you really learn 

-complexity is the enemy of execution

2.Total immersion -when you’re fully immersed, you learn much quicker doing that deep dive retreat is much faster than spreading it out a few hours a week over a year 

3.Spaced repetition 

Tony story of riding Ernie the horse to learn how to play polo but then hiring the best teacher in the world for three weeks and becoming great. Need to learn from the best not just good

Lesson from football player/magician Jon Dorenbos

-what makes you different is what makes you special embrace it 

-at 12 years old when his dad murdered his mom 

-come to terms with reality 

-find forgiveness in  people and in the world 

-when you see a glimpse of happiness grab onto it 

-all our relationships with people or things is a wave. Ride it as long as you can, but understand that waves don’t continue forever, it will ultimately crash and you need to keep paddling 

-moments in time can either define you or refine you. It’s your choice 

-stories we tell ourselves start to become our reality 

-when you set boundaries some people may not like it 

-learning to forgive 

-how you talk to yourself is how you see the world 

-every day put yourself in a position to change the world so that when you’re called, you’ll be ready 

“close your eyes and rewrite your story”

Continue to believe that those who’ve passed are all around you in nature

-what you focus on is what you’ll find

-it is easy to blame the world around us when things don’t go our way -tempting us to forget who we really are

- we have chances in life to do for others that we wish somebody would have done for us and we should take those

-don’t ever let your inner child die.

-He went to forgive his Dad. The hardest thing he ever did and the easiest thing 

-when his daughter was born, he realized for him to be the best father possible he needed a free himself of his baggage 

-needs to forget the opinions that people have about you create your own story 

-your opinion of yourself is much more important 

Pulling from your archive of memories

-childhood memories of Aaron and mom Monty swimming and grandpa‘s backyard family trips to Lake Tahoe Brazil Israel, Maine, childhood at Tehiyah - Noah, Joey Ari, Yaeir

-memories at Marin Academy -safety and acceptance of the community Shabbat dinners, bath time, playing magic carpet camp Tualamee, camp Ramah,

-college memories, freshman dorm, mods, first floor triple, blue balls, SAE house, cafeteria, bowling, 

-studying abroad and Rio de Janeiro - Hawaiian Mike, Scurf, Rogelio Arnold Lando 

 -Frying pan, Dorians UES, World Trip, playing tennis, skateboarding, rollerblading through Central Park and around Randall Island, through Golden Gate Park 

-connecting with old friends- Ari cat Yaeir, Camille, noah John, Joey, Ben kenji Thomas - dim sum, backyard parties, karaoke

-all of these memories are us. They’re in us as us 

-often focus on what is imperfect, what needs to get done and we forget about all the incredible experiences that we have had. 

“It’s already in us as us!”

Jamie kern Lima

-Where have you been hiding in plain sight? Where are you afraid to be your authentic self? Are you showing up as your representative but not the full expression of your true self? need to step out as the real full expression of who you are 

-you cannot fake authenticity 

-inauthenticity guarantees failure

Sales Techniques

-people will buy from you when they feel understood not when they understand you

-sales is the only free lunch. if you borrow money you need to pay it back if you give up equity, you lose the business but selling is free 

REFRAME: why would you deprive people from the help they need? I’m not trying to sell you. I just want you to experience it

Dean Grazioso

1.“ I will persist until I succeed”

-think of grandpa Ken -keeps moving forward 

“you have to pay the success tax” - when you hit a roadblock, hard times remember you don’t know what’s next what blessing is right around the corner.

2.“Blame them” Remember if anything was different in your past then you wouldn’t be the person you are today -when you blame others need to reframe it because in reality you should be thanking them

3.”Be bold” most people watch from the stadiums, be in the game. 

-Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there for fear of losing because you won’t give yourself a chance to win -don’t fear of rejection, fear of losing keep you from living your best life. 4.”Don’t keep score” in business and in relationships

- try to do more for others for the sake of it not expecting anything in return

-you will find that you’ll get more in return

Joseph McClendon  - African American speaker

“when you don’t know what to do you DO know what to do” - you might be scared but your intuition knows!

-when his mom was given a terminal diagnosis he told the doctors “ I appreciate your opinion, but it’s not your verdict”

“most people die the day of given their diagnosis” - which is why he kept the verdict from his mom 

-although they told him his mom only had two months to live, through positive belief and laughter and breaking pattern interruption,  she lived for another 11 years 

Power of breathing

-deep belly breast, not shallow 

ALWAYS RETURN TO THE BREATH

Directed mind and Thought 

-keep your mind directed at things that serve you staying in a fight or flight mode increases cortisol 

“stand guard at the door of your mind”

Lessons from navy seal 

-get over your story - whatever you’ve told yourself in the past need to move on!

-Change happens whether you like it or not progress is up to you

New story to replace your old story 

I am a confident giving likable, positive person. Open to new ideas. Excited about life, leaving a positive impact on people-  making them feel good about themselves

-“EVERYONE IS CAPABLE OF PROVIDING A MIRACLE FOR SOMEONE ELSE”

Repetition is the mother skill

-We are always in a different place and are not always ready to hear what we need to hear which is why repetition is key because things are always changing.

SUCCESS IN LIFE

80% is the art of fulfillment 

20% is the science of achievement -most people have this equation backwards

Empowering emotions

- gratitude, playfulness, calmness, empathy, acceptance, laughter

-when suffering appears, step into your power emotions - GRATITUDE & PLAYFULNESS - make them a part of you. 

-Imagine if you live with these two power emotions every day how would you feel?

How to face difficult Circumstances

1. get perspective - make it small visualize it leaving your body 

2.change your physiology 

-power of breath box breathing 

-while you think of things you’re grateful for 

3.phrases. 

“Life is too short to suffer”

“I’m 100% responsible for my experience and only I can free myself”

4.Acceptance of the thing your upset over

YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION IS THE BIGGEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE SOMEONE 

-Take the time to remind people that they matter

-are you radiating out Love and compassion?

-what you put out into the universe is what you will receive back

IF THERE WASN'T A REASON TO EXIST THAN YOU WOULDNT

Mantras

Get into horse stance 

HA - joy

YA -affirmative

MA -mother earth 

WA - wow!