Interpersonal Communications Final

Communication Climate

Social tone of a relationship, people can change it

Confirming Communication

Recognition < acknowledgement < endorsement

Disagreeing Communication

Disregard, Phubbing (ignoring someone by using phone), Agression, Ostracism (exclusion)

Gibb’s Positions

Defensive vs Supportive methods of responding

Evaluative vs Descriptive

Evaluative is criticizing, descriptive addresses the problem

Controlling vs. Problem Orientation

Controlling focuses on manipulating, problem orientation focuses on collaboration

Strategy vs Spontaneity

Strategy uses pre-planned tactics for personal goals, spontaneity focuses on-the-spot decisions

Neutrality vs. Empathy

Neutrality makes other feel unimportant, empathy validates their feelings

Certainty vs Provisionalism

Certainty means absolute views, provisionalism means we are open to change

Counterfeit Questions

Insincere questions meant to trap us in desired responses

Confirming messages (most to least positive)

Endorsement > Acknowledgement > Recognition

Blurters are

All of the above

Avoidance (conflict style)

Lose-Lose

Accommodation (conflict style)

Lose-Win

Competition (Conflict style)

Win-Lose

Collaboration (conflict style)

Win-Win

Complementary conflict vs Symmetrical conflict

Use mutually reinforcing behaviors vs use the same behavior

Escalatory vs De-escalatory spiral

hostility vs withdrawal

Win-Win problem solving

Define/share/listen to each other’s needs, evaluate, solve, follow up

Conflict requires

Happens in relational systems/interdependent people

Expressed struggle

Scarce resources

Incompatible goals

Mind-reading expectations

Expecting partner to know needs without explaining

Unhappy couples lack

Empathy

Types of Friendship

Short vs Long Term

Task vs Maintenance oriented = bonded by shared activities vs mutual liking

Low vs High disclosure = not sharing much vs sharing lots

Low vs High obligation = We do anything for high obligation

Infrequent vs frequent contact

Women vs Male Friendships

Women bond with self disclosure, men bond with shared activities

Cross-Sex friendships have four categories

Mutual romance, strictly platonic, desired romance, rejected romance

OR friends with benefits/work spouse

What is a family in communication?

Interdependent people, common history/present and expect a future, formed on communication

Family Narratives

Stories within families that shape each other’s perspectives on one another

Communication Rituals

Verbal/Non-Verbal that express meaning/belief

Family Communication Patterns

More than the sum of its parts, systems inside the system

Conversation Orientation Families

High orientation interact frequently, low orientation interact less

Conformity Orientation

High orientation seek harmony/obedience, low orientation seek individuality

Subsystem vs Suprasystem

Smaller component vs entire system

Three Ingredience for Friendship are

Time, talk, and shared activities

In terms of relationships relieved affection works like

Bank Account

Kinkeper

Take charge of family rituals

Social Exchange Theory

Social interactions are a cost-reward analysis, people weigh before interacting

Comparison Level of Alternatives

When people weigh benefits/costs of a relationship to others to determine if they should stay or leave

Model of Relational Dynamics

Healthy vs Unhealthy Differentiation

Strong attachment vs Unhealthy obsession attachment

Integration—Separation Dialectic Tension

The tension between the need for intimacy and autonomy, Ex. Inclusion—Seclusion

Stability—Change Dialectic Tension

The tension between the need for stability and growth

Expression—Privacy Dialectic Tension

The tension between the need to openly express oneself and the desire for privacy.

Couples who engage in ___ experience happier relationships

Relational work

Physical factors become more important as a relationship progresses (T/F)

False

Five types of relational maintenance

Positivity, Openness, Assurances, Social Networks, Sharing tasks

Metacommunication

Discussing thoughts and feelings about how communicate with each other

Social vs Relational

Causal interactions vs deeper interactions involving personal connections

Relational Transgressions (Four Types)

Social vs Relational, Major vs Minor, Deliberate vs Unintentional, One time vs incremental

In an apology, people look for

Acknowledgement of responsibility

Emotions are

Physiological, nonverbal, cognitive interpretations

Individualist

Prioritizes autonomy, express conflicting feelings

Collectivist

Prioritizes harmony, dont express conflicting feelings

Men are inexpressive, women are demonstrative (T/F)

True

People express more emotion online (T/F)

True

Emotional Contagion

Where our emotional states spread to others, causing them to converge

Emotional Labor

Effort required to manage our emotions to meet demands of a relationship

Sharing multiple feelings is ineffective at expressing feelings. (T/F)

False

Emotional Granularity

Ability to precisely explain emotions

Perception Checking

Communication strategy where you acknowledge someone’s feelings, describe their feelings, and seek clarification

Fallacy of Perfection

The belief that we have to be flawless and meet unattainable standards

Fallacy of Should

Inability to distinguish between what is and what should be

Fallacy of Overgeneralization

Thinking that because one thing happened, everything else will too

Ex. Not getting a job = never get a job again

Fallacy of Causation

Thinking that something causes something when it doesnt

Fallacy of Helplesness

Feeling powerless because things outside our control cause our feelings

Cognitive Interpretation

How we filter events, lead us to be positive or negative

Which statement is true about gender and emotion?

Men and women express emotions differently due to social conventions

Reappraisal is related to

Cognitive interpretation

Rumination

To dwell on bad emotions and make them last longer

Holding expectations for yourself and for others can promote which fallacy?

Fallacy of should

Debilitating emotions are

High intensity and Long duration

Americans in particular acknowledge negative emotions (T/F)

False

Pleased is a word that suggests different degree of emotional ___ than thrilled.

Intensity

Criticism (1/4 Horsemen of conflict)

Attacking verbally

Contempt (1/4 Horsemen of conflict)

Assuming sense of superiority

Defensiveness (1/4 Horsemen of conflict)

Victimizing

Stonewalling (1/4 horsemen of conflict)

Withdrawal

Consensual Family Communication

High conversation/high conformity

Pluralistic Family Communication

High conversation/low conformity

Protective Family Communication

Low conversation/high conformity

Laissez-Fare Family Communication

Low conversation/low conformity

Romantic Love

High passion/High intimacy

Empty Love

Only commitment

Companionate Love

High intimacy/low passion

Consummate Love

High passion/high intimacy/commitment

Task-Oriented Listening

Prioritizes goals, ignores emotional

Relational Listening

Prioritizes emotions

Analytical Listening

prioritizes evaluating information

Critical Listening

Prioritizes credibility of speaker

People who use relational listening are extroverted, attentive, and friendly. (T/F)

True

Pseudolistening

Pretending to listen but not listening

Insulated listening

Avoiding listening to topics we dont want to hear about

Defensive Listening

Interpret everything as criticism

Ambushing

Listening only to collect information to use against the speaker

Selective listening

Focusing on certain things while ignoring others

Multitasking is an efficient way to listen.

False

Good listeners…

Ask questions, give feedback, share perspective, respond in many ways

Listening responses (from reflective to directive)

Questioning - Paraphrasing - Empathizing - Supporting - Analyzing - Evaluating - Advising

The deluge in communication makes which stage of listening tougher now?

Attending

An evaluating response is

More directive/less reflective

Directive vs Reflective

Directive suggests action, reflective explores emotions