Officer O'Hara Lines SCENE 2

Yes Doctor, the quick way!

Hey! The Colonel’s gotta quit blowing that horn!

Its all right, Officer. We are taking the bugle away from him.

There’s going to be hell to pay in the morning. We promised the neighbors he would’t do that anymore.

It won’t happen again, Officer. Good night.

I’d better speak to him myself… Hey! you stood me up. I waited an hour at Kelly’s for you… What happened to him?

He was explaining the play he saw tonight—That’s what happened to the fella in the play.

Did they have that in the play you saw tonight?… Gee they practically stole that from the second act of my play—… Why in My second act, just before the—… I’d better begin at the beginning. It opens in my mothers dressing room, where I was born —only I ain’t born yet—… Huh??    OH YEAH!… No! you’ve gotta hear the plot. … Well, shes sitting there making up, see—when all of a sudden through the door—a man with a black mustache walks in— turns to my mother and says—”Miss Latour, will you marry me?” He doesn’t know she’s pregnant.

SCENE CHANGE

She is lying unconscious across the table in her lingerie- the gaucho is standing over her with a hatchet—I’m tied up in a chair just like you are—the place is an inferno in flames—it’s on fire—when all of a sudden— through the window— in comes mayor LaGuardia… HEY, remember who paid for that— go easy on it.

Well I’m listening ain’t I?

How do you like it so far?

Well it put Jonna to sleep

Let her alone. If she ain’t got no more interest than that—she don’t get a drink… All right. It’s 3 days later— I been transferred and i’m under charges— That’s because someone stole my badge. … All right. I’m walking my beat on Staten Island— 46th Precinct— When a guy I’m following, turns out—is really following me. … Don’t let anybody in.— So I figure I’ll outsmart him. There is a vacant house on the corner. So I go in.

Its Cops!

I stand there in the dark and I see the door handle turn.

Joanna! It’s Cops! Cops!

I pull my Gun—Brace myself against the wall— and I say— “come in”.. Hello!

What the hell is going on here?

Hey, Pat, whaddya know? This is Mortimer Brewster! He’s going to write my play with me. I’m just telling him the story.

Joe, you better report in at the station. The whole force is out looking for ya.

Did they send you here for me?

Yes! Yes!

Gee Mr Brewster, I got to get away, so I’ll just run through the 3rd act quick.

Say, do you know what time it is? it’s after 8 o’clock in the morning.

It is?… Gee Mr Brewster, them first two acts run a little long, but I don’t see anything we can leave out.

DOORBELL

Come in!

And that did not tip you off she came out of a nut-house?

I thought all along she talked kinda crazy!

Where have you been all night? And you needn’t bother to tell me.

I’ve been right here, sir. writing my play with Mortimer Brewster.

Yeah? well, you’re gonna have plenty of time to write that play. You’re Suspended! Now get back and report in!

Can I come over sometime and use the station typewriter?