BFAM Williamson Exam 3

What does the Bible say about singleness?

There are unique challenges to both singleness and marriage. The early church would take care of widows and single people.

Historically - Singleness is

dishonorable

Singleness is Not...

1. An inferior plan "b"

2. Synonymous with relational poverty

3. An excuse for self absorption

4. An identity deficit

Sacred Marriage

What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?

Five love languages

physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service

The love bank policies

- It takes more deposits to make up for a withdraw

- Some deposits may take 1-2 business days to show up

- When you are overdrawn, it takes time not deposits, for the bank to open again

- Follow procedures prescribed by the bank (follow their love language)

Spiritual adultery antidote

- Seek out wisdom

- Share about the struggle immediately

- Recognize the alarms

- Reality check, may be a long term struggle

Spiritual adultery avoiding

- Don't get isolated

- Learn about spiritual+physical adultery

- Join a small/accountability group

Spiritual adultery healing

- Cut all ties with adulterous person

- Pray for separation between adulterous spirits

- Open up lines of communication with your spouse

- Take steps of healing with family and church (confession)

Biblical foundations for sexual intimacy

- Created oneness

- Sex is an expression of physical oneness, designed to mirror relational permanence

- Hot and holy sex

Three keys to freedom from porn

Break denial structures

Understand the bondage cycle

Access the deep wound

The noose of bondage with porn

- The root: wounds

- The mindset: having a shame perspective on oneself

- The lifestyle: Binge purge cycle

- The cloak: denial, delusion, blame

Five principles for nurturing yourself

1. Social contact

2. Exercise

3. Education

4. Diet

5. Sleep

Tempt away in 60 seconds

1. 15s, whisper to God

2. 15s, get up and move

3. 15s, consider consequences

4. 15s, get help

Signs of depression and anxiety

- Mood is inconsistent with surroundings

- Do not see themselves or surroundings clearly

Responsible for vs. responsible to

Your job is to empower, not to make your significant other change

Sexual lies to women

- Sex equals power

- Packaging and presentation are important

- If you got it, flaunt it

- Everyone is having sex

- Sex is love

- Women are inferior to men

- Sex is wrong

- Christian marriages don't struggle with sex

Points of agreement biblically with divorce and remarriage

- Marriage is long term

- Marriage covenant is an image of God

- Divorce is a result of sin

- Divorce leads to family and social instability

3 views of divorce

1. No remarriage

2. Remarriage for adultery and desertion

3.Remarriage for adultery, desertion, abuse

The healthy, holy equation for healthy intimacy

Seeing others as fully human + realistic ideas about love and romance + christian values = healthy intimacy

Definition of intimacy

A level of closeness of knowing and being known

HALT

Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired

Stages of intimacy

1. Eye to body

2. Eye to eye

3. Voice to voice

4. Hand to hand

5. Hand to shoulder

6. Hand to waist

7. Face to face

8. Hand to head

9. Hand to body

10. Mouth to body

11. Touch below the waist

12. Intercourse

What was the moral of the story "the missing piece"

While marriage is wonderful, singleness allows one to enjoy life and its many pleasures.

You're not necessarily missing a piece at all. You shouldn't be waiting on someone to complete you, because you are only complete through God. Instead you should be looking for someone who you enjoy being with and makes you happy, not that you are completely dependent on

What are 4 major principles that you would share with a friend about marriage from class discussions and notes

1. Marriage is wonderful, but it is hard work
2. Not being married is not a "Plan B", its a viable way of life.
3. Marriage is a tool to better understand and reenact God's love for Israel and for his people
4. Active-Active communication style is ideal
5. The love bank

Discussion of divorce & remarriage, what's a phrase that illustrates your belief and what the Bible says about that particular view

Divorce is the last option

Matthew 5 Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells us that under no circumstances except for sexual immorality is divorce acceptable.

But if possible, live like hosea and remain faithful through it all

Stories of sexual sin, what 2 lessons would you share with others from what was shared?

Trust is a privilege that can be lost. Honesty with and faith in each other is key.

1. Sexual sin does not magically go away when you get married.
2. Do not hide your sin, seek support