Juvenal, Satire VI

Credo Pudicitiam Saturno rege moratam in terris visamque diu,

I believe that Chastity lingered on the earth when Saturn was king and was seen for a long time,

cum frigida parvas praeberet spelunca domos ignemque laremque et pecus et dominos communi clauderet umbra,

when a chilly cave used to provide meagre homes, and it enclosed in a shared darkness a fireplace and a Lar, both farm animals and master,

silvestrem montana torum cum sterneret uxor frondibus et culmo vicinarumque ferarum pellibus,

when the hill bred wife used to make up her woodland bed with leaves and straw and the hides of her neighbours, the wild beasts,

haut similis tibi, Cynthia, nec tibi, cuius turbavit nitidos exinctus passer ocellos,

not at all similar to you, O Cynthia, nor to you (Lesbia), whose bright eyes a dead sparrow troubled,

sed portanda ferens infantibus ubera magnis et saepe horridior glandem rucante marito.

but (one who) offered up her breasts to her mighty infants to drain and often hairier than her acorn belching husband.

quippe aliter tunc orbe novo caeloque recenti vivebant homines, qui rupto robore nati compositive luto nullos habuere parentes.

For in fact, in those days, when the world was new and the heavens young men, who had been born from split oak or shaped from mud, were living in a different way and had no parents (of their own).

multa Pudicitiae veteris vestigia forsan aut aliqua exstiterint et sub Iove,

Prehaps many or at least some traces of ancient Modesty may have survived under Jupiter too,

sed Iove nondum barbato,

nondum Graecis iurare paratis per capita alterius,

but when Jupiter had not yet grown a beard and the Greeks had not yet been ready to swear an oath on the head of someone else,

cum furem nemo timeret caulibus ac pomis et aperto viveret horto.

when no one was afraid of a thief for their cabbages or apples and (people) lived with their garden unwalled.

paulatim deinde ad superos Astraea recessit hac comite, atque duae pariter fugere sorores.

Then Astrea (Justice) withdrew little by little to the gods above, with (Chastity) as her comrade, and the two sisters took flight together.

anticum et vetus est alienum, Postume, lectum concutere atque sacri genium contemnere fulcri.

It is an ancient and long established (custom) to set a shaking another's bed, Postumus, and to despise the guardian spirit of the sacred couch.

omne aliud crimen mox ferrea protulit aetas:

Every other crime came soon after spawned by the age of Iron:

viderunt primos argentea saecula moechos.

but it was the silver age that saw the first adulterers.

conventum tamen et pactum et sponsalia nostra tempestate paras iamque a tonsore magistro pecteris et digital pignus fortasse dedisti?

However, in our time, you prepare for an agreement, a contract, and a betrothal, you are, by now, being coiffed by an expert barbwr and perhaps you have given a ring to her finger?

certe sanus eras. uxorem, Postume, ducis?

Undoubtedly you used to be sane. Postumus are you (really) taking a wife?

dic qua Tisiphone, quibus exagitere colubris.

Tell me by what Tisiphone, by what snakes are you being driven mad.

ferre potes dominam salvis tot restibus ullam,

Are you able to endure any mistress when there is so much rope to be had,

cum pateant altae caligantesque fenestrae,

when (so many) vertiginous windows lie open,

cum tibi vicinum se praebeat Aemilius pons?

and when the Aemilian bridge offers you itself nearby?

aut si de multis nullus placet exitus, illud

nonne putas melius, quod tecum pusio dormit?

Or if none of these many exists pleases you, surely you think it better (to take) a young lad who sleeps with you?

pusio, qui noctu non litigat, exigit a te

nulla iacens illic munuscula, nec queritur quod et lateri parcas nec quantum iussit anheles.

A young lad, who does not quarrel by night, (who) demands no little gifts from you as he lies there in bed, nor does he complain that you are going easy on his crotch nor orders how much panting you should do.

sed placet Vrsidio lex Iulia: tollere dulcem cogitat heredem, cariturus turture magno mullorumque iubis et captatore macello.

But the Julian law is pleasing to Ursidus: he is considering raising a sweet heir, (though) he will have to forego his plump turtledove, and the bearded red mullets and the legacy hunter market.

quid fieri non posse putes, si iungitur ulla

Vrsidio?

What could you think to he impossible, if any (woman) is married to Ursidius?

si moechorum notissimus olim

stulta maritali iam porrigit ora capistro,

quem totiens texit perituri cista Latini?

If he (who) once was the most notorious of seducers now offers his foolish head to the connubial noose, he whok the chest of Latinus, about to be done for, has so often protected?

quid quod et antiquis uxor de moribus illi

quaeritur?

and what of the fact that a wife of old fashioned morals is being sought for him?

o medici, nimiam pertundite venam, delicias hominis!

O doctors, lance his swollen vein. the preciosity of the fellow!

Tarpeium limen adora pronus et auratam Iunoni caede iuvencam, si tibi contigerit capitis matrona pudici.

Worship, prostrate at the Tarpeian threshold, and sacrifice a gilden heifer to Juno, if you are lucky enough to find a woman who is chaste.

paucae adeo Cereris vittas contingere dignae,

So true is it that so few (wives) are worthy to put their hands on the sacred ribbons of Ceres,

quarum non timeat pater oscula:

whose kisses their own fatger would not fear.

necte coronam postibus et densos per limina tende corymbos.

Weave a garland for the door posts and set up swathes of ivy over the threshold.

unus Hiberinae vir sufficit? ocius illud

extorquebis, ut haec oculo contenta sit uno.

(But) is one man enough for Hiberina? You will sooner twists that out (of her) than that she would be content with only one eye.

magna tamen fama est cuiusdam rure paterno viventis.

They say there is, however, a certain girl living on her father's estate in the country whose reputation is great.

vivat Gabiis ut vixit in agro, vivat Fidenis, et agello cedo paterno.

(Well) let her live ag Gabii as she lived on her fathers farm, let her live at Fidenas, and I'll grant you the father's little farm.

quis tamen adfirmat nil actum in montibus aut in speluncis?

But who says that nothing (ever) happens in mountains or in caves?

adeo senuerunt Iuppiter et Mars?

Have Jupiter and Mars grown so old?

porticibusne tibi monstratur femina voto

digna tuo?

Can you point out any woman worthy of your vows under our colonnades?

cuneis an habent spectacula totis

quod securus ames quodque inde excerpere possis?

Or do all the tiers if seats in our theatres hold one whom you could pick out from there and whom you could love free from anxiety?

chironomon Ledam molli saltante Bathyllo Tuccia vesicae non imperat, Apula gannit,

when the effeminate Bathyllus is dancinf as Leda in pantomime fashion, Tuccia cannot control her bladder {vagina}, Apula yelps

[sicut in amplexu, subito et miserabile longum.]

[as if making love a sudden and pathetic long (howling)]

attendit Thymele: Thymele tunc rustica discit.

Thymele pays close attention: the unsophisticated Thymele then learns (something).

ast aliae, quotiens aulaea recondita cessant,

But the others, when the stage curtains, hidden away, ceased to be used,

et vacuo clausoque sonant fora sola theatro,

and the theatre is empty and closed, and the only sounds are in the courts,

atque a Plebeis longe Megalesia,

and the Megalesia is far off from the peoples games,

tristes personam thyrsumque tenent et subligar Acci.

sadly clutch at Accius' mask and his thyrsus and his loin cloth.

Vrbicus exodio risum movet Atellanae gestibus Autonoes, hunc diligit Aelia pauper.

Urbicus, in the afterpiece consiting of an Atellan farce, raises a laugh, with the gesutues of Autonoes, the penniless Aelia falls in love with him.

solvitur his magno comedi fibula,

For these women, the ring of a comedy actor is undone at a great price,

sunt quae Chrysogonum cantare vetent,

there are those who will not allow Chrysogynus to sing;

Hispulla tragoedo gaudet: an expectas ut Quintilianus ametur?

Hispulla is crazy for a tragedian: or do you expect that Quintilianus is loved?

accipis uxorem de qua citharoedus Echion aut Glaphyrus fiat pater Ambrosiusque choraules.

You are taking a wife, by whom Echion thr citharoedus, or Glaphrus and the pipe player Ambrosius may become a father.

longa per angustos figamus pulpita vicos,

Let us set up long platforms along the narrow streets,

orentur postes et grandi ianua lauro,

let the door and door posts be adorned with abundant laurel,

ut testudineo tibi, Lentule, conopio nobilis Euryalum murmillonem exprimat infans.

so that your noble child in his tortoise shell cradle shall remind us, dear Lentulus, of the gladiator Euryalus.

Nupta senatori comitata est Eppia ludum

ad Pharon et Nilum famosaque moenia Lagi, prodigia et mores urbis damnante Canopo.

Eppia, married to a senator, accompanied a troop of gladiators to Pharos and to the Nile and the notorious city walls of Alexandria while Canopus condemned the monstrous immorality of our city.

immemor illa domus et coniugis atque sororis nil patriae indulsit, plorantisque improba natos- utque magis stupeas- ludos Paridsmque relinquit.

Forgetful of her home and her husband and sister, without regard for her country, that woman shamelessly abandoned her weeping children- and more shockingly still- Paris and the games.

sed quamquam in magnis opibus plumaque paterna et segmentatis dormisset parvula cunis,

But although (born) into great wealth she had slept as a tiny child in a richly decorated cradle on the ancestral downy pillows,

contempsit pelagus; famam contempserat olim,

she made light of the open sea; (just as) she had long ago shown contempt for her reputation,

cuius apud molles minima est iactura cathedras.

the loss if which is of very little (importance) to the ladies of luxurious litters.

Tyrrenhos igitur fluctus lateque sonantem pertulit zionism constanti pectore, quamvis mutandum totiens esset mare.

Therefore with an unwavering heart she endured the Tyrrhenian waves and the far resounding Ionian sea, though she was so often going from sea to sea.

iusta pericili si ratio est et honesta, timent pavidoque gelantur pectore nec tremulis possunt insistere plantis:

If the reason for (incurring) danger is just and honourable, (women) are afraid, their heart frozen with fear and they are not able to stand on their trembling feet:

fortem animum praestant rebus quas turpiter audent.

they demonstarte a courageous spirit in matters which they dare shamefully.

si iubeat coniunx, durum est conscendere navem, tunc sentina gravis, tunc summus veritur aer:

If her husband were to order her to board a ship it is cruelty, then the bulge water is sickening, then the sky spins around and around:

quae moechum sequitur, stomacho ualet.

she who follows a lover (however), her stomach is strong.

illa maritum convomit, haec inter nautas et prendet et errat per puppem et duros gaudet tractare rudentes.

That woman vomits over her husband, this one both eats among the sailors and wanders around deck and rejoices in tackling their stiff cables.

qua tamen exarsit forma, qua capta iuventa Eppia?

Yet captivated by what beauty, what youth did Eppia blaze with passion?

quid vidit propter quod ludia dici sustinuit?

What did she see (in him) to put up with being called a groupie?

nam Sergiolus iam radere guttur

coeperat et secto requiem sperare lacerto;

For her Sergius had already began to shave his throat and a mutilated arm gave hope of retirement;

praeterea multa in facie deformia,

besides there were many deformities on his face,

sulcus attrius galea mediisque in naribus ingens gibbus et acre malum semper stillantis ocelli.

a furrow caused by his helmet rubbing, a huge lump in the middle of his nose and a nasty condition always dripping from his eye.

sed gladiator erat.

But he was a gladiator.

hic illos Hyacinthoa:

This makes those men Hyacinths:

hoc pueris patriaeque, hoc praetulit illa sorori atque viro.

this she preferred to her children and country, to her sister and to her husband.

ferrum est quod amant.

What they love is the sword.

hic Sergius idem accepta rude coepisset Veiiento videri.

This same Sergius, having accepted the wooden sword, had began to seem like Veiientus.

242: Nulla fere causa est in qua non femina litem moverit.

There is virtually no court case in which a woman has not initiated the lawsuit.

accusat Manilia, si rea non est.

Manilia does the accusing, if she is not the defendant.

componunt ipsae per se formantque libellos, principium atque locos Celso dictare paratae.

These women compose and construct the briefs, prepared to dicate to Celsus the opening speech and main points.

Endromidas Tyrias et femineum ceroma

quis nescit, vel quis non vidit vulnera pali,

Who doesnt know about (those) sports wraps of Tyrian purple and the wrestling oils used by women, or who has not seen the battered marks of the training post,

quem cavat assiduis rudibus scutoque lacessit

which whittled away by repated blows, she challenges with her shield

atque omnis implet numeros dignissima prosus Florali matrona tuba,

and going through all the practice movements is every respect a woman most worthy of a trumpet at the Floralia,

nisi si quid in illo pectore plus agitat veraeque paratur harenae?

unless (that is) if she is planning something more in her heart and is being prepared for the real arena?

quem praestare potest mulier galeata pudorem, quae fugit a sexu?

What modesty can a woman show wearing a helmet, she who withdraws from her own gender?

vires amat.

She loves the violence.

haec tamen ipsa vir nollet fieri; nam quantula nostra voluptas!

However she herseld would not wish to be a man; for how little our pleasure is!

quale decus, rerum si coniugis auctio fiat,

balteus et manicae et cristae crurisque sinistri dimidium tegimen!

What a fine sight, if there should be an auction of his wife's possessions, the sword belt and arm guards and the plumes and the half sized left shin guard!

vel si diversa movebit proelia, tu felix ocreas vendente puella.

Or if she undertakes different kinds of fights, lucky you when the girl sells her greaves.

hae sunt quae tenui sudant in cyclade, quarum delicias et panniculus bombycinus urit.

(Yet) these are the women who sweat in a flimsy dress, whose sensitive skin is chafed by the smallest scrap of silk tissue.

aspice quo fremitu monstratos perferat ictus et quanto galeae curuetur pondere, quanta poplitibus sedeat quam denso fascia libro, et ride positis scaphium cum sumitur armis.

See with what grunting she executes the thrusts that have been shown to her and how much she bends over under the weight of her helmet, how big the bandages, made of this bark, which sit on her knees, and (then) laugh when her armour has been laid down and she picks up her chamber pot.

dicite vos, neptes Lepidi caecive Metelli Gurgitis aut Fabii, quae ludia sumpserit umquam hos habitus?

Tell us, you grandaughters of Lepida or of the blind Metellus, or of Fabius Gurges, what groupie ever assumed these clothes?

quando ad palum gemat uxor Asyli?

When did the wife of Asylus (ever) groan against the training post?

semper habet lites alternaque iurgia lectus in quo nupta iacet; minimum dormitur in illo.

The bed in which a wife lies always has wrangling and mutual quarrelling; very little sleep is to be got in that (bed).

(est) tum gravis illa viro, tunc or a tigride peior,

(It is) then that she is hard on her husband, then more dangerous than a bereaved tigress,

cum simulat gemitus occulti conscia facti,

when, conscious of her own secret misdeed, she feigns groaning,

aut odit pueros aut ficta paelice plorat

(and) either hates your slave boys or weeps aloud about a fictitious mistress

uberibus semper lacrimis semperque paratis in statione sua atque expectantibus illam, quo iubeat manare modo.

with tears always in abundance and always ready in their place and awaiting in what fashion she might order them to flow.

tu credis amorem, tu tibi tunc, uruca, places fletumque labellis exorbes,

You believe its love, you are pleased then, you worm, and you kiss away her tears with your lips,

quae scripta et quot lecture tabellas si tibi zelotypae retegantur scrinia moechae!

but what love notes and how many tablets would you read if you opened the desk of your jealous adulterous (wife)!

sed iacet in servi complexibus aut equitis.

But she lies in the embraces of a slave or a knight.

'dic, dic aliquem sodes hic, Quintilianus, colorem.'

'Speak, speak Quintilianus, please, some line of defence in this situation.'

'haremus. dic ipsa.'

'I am at a loss. Say one yourself.'

'olim convenerat' inquit

'Long ago it was agreed' she said