MR SALT LINES

CHERRY: Jerry im in russia. Our winner is 12 she likes ballet shes the daughter of a peanut billionaire and her name is Veruca salt! Mr Salt tell all!

As soon as Mr Wonka made his announcement, my Veruca expressed a very keen interest in the competition. She said-

VERUCA: I want a ticket NOW

How could I possibly refuse,

WHEN VERUCA SAYS

VERUCA: MORE

I BUY ANOTHER STORE AND WHEN VERUCA SAYS

VERUCA: NOW

THE SWEAT FORMS ON MY BROW AND WHEN VERUCA SAYS

VERUCA: AGAIN

NO MATTER WHERE OR WHEN WE'D BETTER ALL KOW-TOW TO

VERUCA: MORE NOW AGAIN

WHEN VERUCA SAYS

VERUCA: OUT

THERE'S NO REASONABLE DOUBT AND WHEN VERUCA SAYS

VERUCA: FETCH

THERE'S NO TIME TO GO KVETCH AND WHEN VERUCA SAYS

VERUCA: OBEY

YOU'D BETTER FIND A WAY TO MAKE A RUPLE STRETCH FOR

VERUCA: OUT FETCH OBEY

NOW WHEN SHE HEARD OF WONKAS PRIZE SHE STARTED TO ATTACK! SO I TOLD MY PEANUT SHELLERS "HERE'SS A TOUGHER NUT TO CRACK" YOU'VE EACH A THOUSAND WONKA BARS START SHELLING THEM AT ONCE FOR WHEN VERUCAS HAPPY ITS MUCH BETTER FOR HER PAPPY
FOR FORTY DAYS AND FORTY NIGHTS THE LADIES TRIED TO PICK IT AND ALWAYS TO THE MUSIC OF

VERUCA: I WANT A GOLDEN TICKET!

AND THEN A WORKER STOOD AND IN HER HAND? A PANACEA! A GOLDEN TICKET ON DISPLAY! AND WHAT DID SWEET VERUCA SAY??

VERUCA: Daddy

Yes?

VERUCA: BUY ME NORTH KOREA!

WHEN VERUCA SAYS

VERUCA: BUY

ITS LIKE A BATTLE CRY FOR WHEN VERUCA SAYS

VERUCA: MINE

WELL IVE JELLY FOR A SPINE AND IF VERUCA SAID

VERUCA: PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ID KNOW IT WAS A TEASE BEFORE A MORE A NOW AN OUT A MINE A FETCH A BUY

VERUCA & MR SALT: BUY

AND WHEN SHE FINALLY FALLS ASLEEP WE'LL PRAY AND SAY AMEN TILL TOMORROW WHEN IT ALL BEGINSSS

AGAIN

AGAIN

ACT TWO OPEN

Oof.

WILLY WONKA: SALTS

Zdravstvuyte! Oleg Salt from Novosibirsk. I run Salt Peanuts, Salt Cod and Salt Mines.

WILLY WONKA: Thats a lot of Salt you should watch your blood pressure

And this is my wonderful daughter.

VERUCA: ARE YOU FOR REAL?

IT'S BABY SEAL. THAT'S CLUBBED THEN TICKLED PINK

THE CROWD (EXCEPT VERUCA & MR. SALT): CLUBBED THEN TICKLED PINK

Da

WILLY WONKA: PLEASE INK WITHOUT DELAY

MAY I SEE THE DOSSIER?

WILLY WONKA: NO PROPERTY BE TOUCHED OR CHEWED OR PEDDLED

What'd he say?

MRS. TEAVEE: I'm confused

This tempo is preposterous!

WILLY WONKA: AND SO IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE

Goodbye?!?

ALL: GO ON WITH THE SHOW

Wonka what kind of factory is this

WILLY WONKA: Stuff, is that what you think it takes to make chocolate?

Isn't it?

WILLY WONKA: Close your eyes. Make a wish. And count to three.

ONE TWO THREE

WILLY WONKA: If you fall in, you’re liable to be sucked right up the pipe. Is that clear?

Clear!

GOLDEN TICKET WINNERS & PARENTS: Clear!

I don't get it. Wonka, What's the point of this thing? Can you sell it?

WILLY WONKA: It’s dangerous business! Please! I insist! No touching, no meddling, and absolutely NO TASTING without my express permission—agreed?

Agreed.

ALL: Uranium?!

Actually, we also do that in Russia

MR. BEAUREGARDE: Actually kid, thats not a bad concept

I'd buy it.

WILLY WONKA: Excess fructose in the fluid sacs

What?

WILLY WONKA: Watch your head Marcel

That must've hurt

MRS. TEAVEE: He's loopy

He's bats!

VERUCA: SQUIRREL DADDY I WANT IT NOW SQUIRREL NOW

Ok, Wonka. How much do you want for one of these rodents.

VERUCA: SQUIRREL SQUIRREL SQUIRREL

Name your price Wonka. I'll double it.

VERUCA: No? No one. Says no. To Veruca Salt

Veroooshka wait

SEXTET: HEY HEY HEY HEY

Verooshka!!

SEXTET: AH! BAD NUT

What just happened?

MIKE: That was so cool

Can't you get her back!

VERUCA: Dadddyyyy

Verooshka! Papa's coming!