Discuss Social Exchange Theory as an explanation of romantic relationships

1) SET – Thibaut & Kelley (profit and loss)

Relationships operate like economics — partners aim to maximise rewards (e.g., sex, praise) and minimise costs (e.g., time, stress).

2) Subjectivity of rewards/costs

Rewards and costs are personal — what’s costly to one may be rewarding to another. These perceptions can also shift over time.

3) Comparison Level (CL)

CL is based on past experiences and social norms. If current profit meets or exceeds CL, the relationship is judged as worthwhile.

4) Comparison Level for Alternatives (CLalt)

We stay in a relationship if it’s more profitable than alternatives. Awareness of better options can reduce commitment.

5) Duck – alternatives awareness

People happy in relationships may not even notice alternatives. CLalt becomes relevant when dissatisfaction arises.

6) Stages – Sampling, Bargaining, Commitment

SET progresses through stages: sampling (exploring rewards/costs), bargaining (exchanging and negotiating), and commitment (more stable phase).

❌Limitation – romantic vs exchange

Clark & Mills say SET applies to exchange (e.g. work) not communal (romantic) relationships — partners don’t ‘keep score’.

❌Limitation – vague concept

Rewards, costs, and comparison levels are subjective and hard to measure — weakens SET’s scientific validity.

✅Support – Gottman & Levenson

Found successful marriages had 5:1 positive to negative exchanges — supports idea that ‘profit’ is key to relationship quality.

✅Real-world application – IBCT

Therapy teaches partners to increase rewards and reduce costs. 2/3 of couples improved — supports SET’s practical value.