8.2_ Addressing band 6 problems

language problems

Vocabulary

How to describe location

the use of articles

We omit the article when we are referring to something in general or ‘all’ .

(e.g. all people, all courts etc.). We need an article (e.g. a/the) or determiner here (Some courts,
two courts etc.)

‘like’ is too informal –

‘such as’ or ‘including’ are better here

it isn’t clear what these ‘areas’ are –

'side' is better and we need more information ('the western side' of what?)

This should be 'in' the corner

(‘on the corner’ is used for outside (e.g. on the corner of a street

Addressing coherence and cohesion problem

where the ideas are difficult to follow, where referencing is not clear, or where the information could be more logically organised.
p.188

Task achievement problems

1. One of the main problems in this answer is that the first body paragraph looks in detail at the current plan, and

2. the second body paragraph seems to rush through and list the main changes, which means they are not highlighted.

3. As our task is to highlight the main changes, logically, there should be more information about the second plan than the first.

4. our second paragraph should work together with your first paragraph to present a clear picture of the main changes. Don’t see them as completely separate. This is particularly true for map and plan tasks.
   

The overview now contains all of the key information. With this question, the main changes needed for a clear overview are:

1. the new centre will be bigger

2. it will have more / a wider range of facilities

3. the outdoor facilities will be gone.