Matilda The Musical - Miss Honey - Act 2

MATILDA

But that was the last time the little girl ever saw of her father. Because he never came home. Ever again.

Matilda, I’ve got you those books, we spoke about, so if you’d like—

TRUNCHBULL

What are you doing with those books, woman?

They… they’re for Matilda.

TRUNCHBULL

It has become clear to me, Honey, that you have no idea what you are doing. You believe in kindness and flufiness and books and stories. That is not teaching! To teach the child, we must first break the child. QUIET, YOU MAGGOTS!!!!!!!

But no-one was speaking, Miss Trunchbull.

LAVENDER

Look, the newt! Can you see? It’s the newt! I’ve got the newt, this is the newt! Look, I’m gonna put the newt into the Trunchbull’s —

TRUNCHBULL

Quiet!

I don’t think this is teaching at all, I think it’s just cruelty!

ALICE

I bet it’s poisonous

Quiet, children, please!

TRUNCHBULL

What’s that maggot? Stop? When we’re only just getting started…

ERIC

Ah, ah, ow!

Miss Trunchbull don’t, please! You’ll pull his ears off!

TRUNCHBULL

I have discovered, Miss Honey, through many years of experimentation that the ears of small boys do not come off — they stretch. In fact I think I can feel theses ones… stretching… now!

Miss Trunchbull, no!

TRUNCHBULL

I’ve got a newt in my knickers! I’ve got a newt in my knickers!

Well. That was interesting. I think we’d all better go home. While we still can. Matilda?

MATILDA

Watch.

Matilda, I think it would be wise to go before…

MATILDA

Watch, please.

I moved it with my eyes. Am I strange?

How do you fancy a nice cup of tea?

MATILDA

What do you think it is? This thing with my eyes?

I.. can’t pretend that I know Matilda. But I don’t believe we should be frightened of it. I think it’s something to do with that incredible mind of yours.

MATILDA

You mean, there’s no room in my head for all my brains, so they have to squish out through my eyes?

Well, not exactly but, yes something like that. You certainly are a special girl Matilda. I met your mother. She’s… unusual. What about your father? Is he proud to have a daughter as clever as you?

MATILDA

That’s not true, Miss Honey. That’s not what he says. He’s not proud at all. He calls me a liar and a cheat and a nasty little creep.

I see. Here we are; home, sweet home.

MATILDA

Are you poor?

Yes. Yes, I am. Very

MATILDA

Don’t they pay teachers very much?

Well, they don’t, actually. But I am even poorer than most, because of… other reasons. You see I used to live with my aunt. But one day I was out walking and I came across this old shed— I fell completely in love with it. I ran to the farmer and begged him to let me move in. He thought I was mad! But he agreed and I’ve lived here ever since.

MATILDA

But Miss Honey, you can’t live in a shed!

I’m not strong like you Matilda. You see, my father died when I was young. Magnus was his name. He was very kind. But when he was gone, my aunt became my legal guardian. She was mean and cruel like you can hardly imagine. And then, when I got my job as a teacher, she presented me with a bill for looking after me all those years. She’d written everything down: every tea bag, every electricity bill, every tin of beans. And she made me a sign a contract to pay her back every penny. She even produced a document that said my father had given her his entire house.

MATILDA

But did he really do that? Magnus, I mean. Did he really just give her his house?

I don’t know. But I find it hard to believe. Just like I cannot believe that he would have… killed himself, which is what she said happened.

MATILDA

You think, you think she… did him in, don’t you, Miss Honey?

I.. cannot say, Matilda. All I know is that years of being bullied by that woman made me… well pathetic; I was trapped.

MATILDA

Miss Honey, is this your father’s scarf

Well, yes. My mother gave it to him before she died, you see she was—

MATILDA

An acrobat

Well… well, yes, she, she was. How did you…? And my father was— an escapologist. Matilda how do you know that?

MATILDA

So… so they were your parents?

What? Who? I don’t…

MATILDA

The people in my story!

What story?

MATILDA

A story! i’ve been telling a story and I thought I was making it up, but it’s real! It’s your life! I’ve seen your life!

You’ve seen… My life?

MATILDA

She did him in! Let’s go to the police!

What? No, no, we cant, we have no evidence!

MATILDA

But you could just tell them! Tell them she did it!

That wouldn’t work, Matilda it’d be my word against hers! And they would never believe she was capable for murder.

MATILDA

But why? She was so cruel to you, she beat you, she shouted at you, she locked you up in tiny cupboards and threw you in cellars.

Stop Matilda, please!

TRUNCHBULL

Whatare you looking at?

You.

TRUNCHBULL

You’re cheating!

Of course she’s not cheating, she’s simply spelling the word!

TRUNCHBULL

These little specks of dust can’t be this clever, they are worms!

I’ve taught them, thats all. With kindness and patience and respect.

TRUNCHBULL

You! Filthbog! Snotnose! Spell… Amchellakamanialseptricolistimosis

What? But that’s not a word, you just made it up.

MRS PHELPS

She moved in immediately and she was very happy, happier than she had ever been in her entire life.

As for Miss Trunchbull… she was never seen again. The Chokeys were immeadiately destroyed and a new headmistress took over.

MRS PHELPS

And her name… Miss Honey! And it was often said that it was the best school in all the land.

And do you know something else, Matilda was never again able to move things with her eyes. I thought perhaps it was because her mind was being challenged. But she said it was because she no longer had a need for super powers. But sometimes I would look at Matilda, this little girls who had done so much to help others, but who was stuck with parents who were mean and cruel and called her names. And I would feel my blood boil. And I would wish that I could just… do something.

MR WORMWOOD

I didn’t know they were the flaming russian Mafia, did I? Come on, boy; we’re leaving forever and we’re never coming back.

Let Matilda stay here with me!

MR WORMWOOD

I beg your pardon.

Mr Wormwood, I would love to take Matilda. If she would like to stay with me, that is. I would look after her with love and respect and care and I’d pay for everything. Would… would you like that, Matilda?

MR WORMWOOD

And you want to look after her?

I do.

MATILDA

Thank you!

And Matilda leapt into Miss Honey’s arms

MATILDA

and hugged her

and Miss Honey hugged her back

MRS PHELPS

as the Wormwoods and Rudolpho sped away into the distance

Because they had found each other.