interpersonal relationships ch 9

sexual values

the guidelines we have that help us make choices about sex

absolutism

sexual value based on strict adherence to religion/tradition (waiting to marry before sex) (those who pledge abstinence break that pledge)

relativism

make sexual choices based on aspects of relationships (emotional bond, commitment) most college and more women than men

hedonism 

choices based only on seeking pleasure (casual sex/hooking up) 72% college students have hooked up. related to lower well being

abstinence only until marriage sex ed

linked to increased teen birth rates

comprehensive sex ed

addresses abstinence, but also contraceptive, and a holistic view of decision making, self-esteem, etc. (decrease teen birth rates and other outcomes)

sexual double standard

encouraging, accepting sexual expression more in men than women (most young adults in US had sex by age 18)

pluralistic ignorance

overestimate others’ sexual acceptance and behaviors (3 or 4 avg. number of college partners) 

what constitutes sex

varies by people and behavior varies by cultures

masturbation

self sexual stimulation. acknowledged by health providers as normal, even in children

cybersex

consensual sexual experience of at least two people via a computer

communication

the key to positive sexual relationship

sexual tempo

how soon partners begin to have sex

highest sexual satisfations

is reported by those in a relationship

marital sex frequency

decreases over time

new relationship energy

intense excitement at beginning of new relationship. goes away over tiem

friends with benefits

may provide sense of security as well as “no strings attached”

nonmonogamy

having sex with more than just one partner

consensual nonmonogamy

having sex with multiple people: all are aware and consent to it

swinging

partners in committed relationship agree to have sex with others, either separately or together 8%

transgender sex

usually cis partner. communication very important

condom assertiveness

making clear a condom will be used

stealthing 

nonconsensually removing condom during sex

sexually transmitted infections

term is used because “disease” implies there are visible symptoms showing up

prereqs for sexual fulfillment

knowing your body, what works for you. committed and equal relationship. open sexual communication. realistic expectations.

sexual compliance

partner agrees to have sex, though they didn’t want to

spectatoring

focusing too much on performance instead of simply enjoying