Chapter 3

Interpersonal Attraction

refers to positive feelings about another person. It can take

many forms, including liking, love, friendship, lust, and admiration

Intimacy

characterized by reciprocal self

disclosure and equity in social exchange, and

conscious of one's investment in the relationship.

1. Emotional Support and Positive Feelings

2.Attention

3. Social Comparison

Reason for Affiliation

Similarity Theory

“birds of the same feather flock together”Similarity is also observed

to friends and spouses who tend to be similar in age, educational

background, ethnic background, intelligence level, personality

characteristics, values, talents, skills and interests.Researchers found that individuals who are similar to each

other tend to be closer to each other because they have the same

characteristics, attitudes and interests.

1.validation of experience

2.increase probability of being correct

3. like them more than unfamiliar

4. Provide cognitive consistency

Importance of Similarity

Complementary need Theory

Opposite attracts.emphasizes differences

of persons in a group or in a relationship rather than similarities

as basis of attraction. It is like our tendency to be attracted or

to seek out for others whose personality characteristics may

complement ours- that is those who have opposite

characteristics.

Type I Complementarity

Type II Complementarity

Two Forms Of Need Complementarity

Type I Complementarity

Person A and person B is regarded as complementary

to each other because person A is high while person B is low

on the same specific need. For example, one is dominant

while the other is submissive.

Type II Complementarity

Person A and person B is regarded as complementary to each

other because person A is high on one or more needs and person B

is high or low on certain different needs. For example, one is

expressive and perfectionist while the other is shy, timid and very

relaxed.

Expectancy Value Theory

In matching hypothesis, people are attracted to others who are

similar to them is particular characteristics or pair off with others who are at

about the same level as we are with respect to these characteristics. It is

therefore assumed that people consider the value of their goals and the

expectancy of getting them when getting affiliated or when committing in a

relationship. People calculate and see to it that the goal is attractive and

the probability of success is high.

Reinforcement Theory

This theory empathizes that people like to be with certain

individual or group of people because they get something in

return or out of the relationship. The relationship must be

rewarding that it includes the positive feelings and emotions

felt when one is with the group, the self-validation, the help

and assistance, and the status that one gets in the relationship

or as part of the group.

Social Exchange Theory

This theory states that people consider the rewards, the

cost and everything that they can get in everything that they

do even sometimes unconsciously aware of what they are

doing. The basic assumption of this theory is that people seek

to maximize pleasure and minimize pain at a low cost.

Additionally, this theory also assumes that people get

attracted to those who can reward them best.

Balance Theory

This is also called as Newcomb’s Symmetry model or A-B-X

model which takes the perspective of the three components:

Physical Proximity

the quality or the state of one’s closeness.

Frequent contact with another person because of the distance,

nearness or the location relative to each other may lead to attraction

eventually may develop friendship or romantic relationship.

Availability

Convenience

Familiarity

Predictability
Expectation of COntinued Interaction

The following are the reasons why proximity influences attraction:

Availability

people tend to be attracted to people who are

readily available than those who are not because they do not get the

chance to meet them.

Convenience

in terms of cost, time and effort, it is more

convenient to get to know more people who are physically closer

than those who live from farther places.

Familiarity

the closer the person is, the more frequent that we

see them, the more the person becomes familiar and the more we

develop positive feelings towards that person because we tend to

become comfortable with their presence.

Predictability

the more we get acquainted with the person near

to us, the more that we are able to predict how they react with certain

situations. With this, we can elicit positive reactions from them and

arrange situations to become rewarding since we can anticipate their

behaviours.

The Expectation of Continued Interaction

people

who are near to each other are expected to have more

frequent social interactions. With this, people tend to

heighten positive aspects of the relationship and minimize

the negative ones for a better social interactions in the

future

Physical Attractiveness

People tend to like more those who are physically

attractive. Physical attractiveness depends on the

subjective evaluation of the perceiver and people’s

evaluation may be different from the perception of other

people.

aesthetic advantage

assume more desirable characteristics

enhances one’s own status

Feel secure,competent,satisfying

Reasons why people like those who are more attractive:

Personal Characteristics

also attracts us to like

people. Like physical attractiveness, how people are

attracted to certain personality characteristics depends on

the perceiver

Social Anxiety

People who are suffering

from this find it hard to start small talks, asking someone

for a date, being acquainted with other people or are very

uncomfortable with any social interaction. This is

the emotion one can experience when he or she is

uncomfortable in the presence of other people which leads to

the avoidance of social interaction.

Loneliness

- it is the feeling of deprivation about

one’s existing social relations. is

produced by the discrepancy between what we

actually have and what we actually want (

LOVE

s a form of energy.

It's an impulse that encourages us to move, express

ourselves, and create. In relation to the previous

statement, this expansive and creative force only

emerges when we've already met our basic needs.

care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge.

Four core tenets of love:

Liking

It is the experience of intimacy without passion like friendship.COnsistent good thoughts and favourable evaluation

Passionate love

wild emotional state and emotions. tender,Sexual feelings,pain,anxiety,jealousy ,altruism.Romantic love

Companionate love

moderate emotional state. Secure trusting and stable partnership.Affection to those our lives are deeply intertwined with. Practical type of love which is bulit with trust,caring and aceptance or tolerance of the partner flaws and idiosyncraisies.develop slowly

Robert Stenberg

Who proposes the triangular theory of love

Intimacy components

emotional component that includes feelings of closeness and connectedness in a relationship, as

as well as admiring and wanting to take care of the loved one.

Sternberg believed that this component is essentially the

same in love for romantic partners, children or closest

friends. Self-disclosure and intimacy are very important in

each of these loving relationships.

passion component

comprises the drives that lead to intense

emotions in love relationships. In romantic relationships,

physical attraction and sexuality may be prominent.

However, other motives like the needs to give and receive

nurturance, the need for self-esteem and dominance may

also arise

commitment component

which is the decision to

love someone else and in long term, to be committed in

maintaining that love and staying in a relationship.

Infatuation

passion alone

Liking

Intimacy alone

Companioate love

Initimacy + commitment

empty love

commitment alone

Fatuous love

Passion plus commitment

Romantic love

Initmacy +Passion

consummate love

intimacy+passion+commitment

Erotic or Romantic Love

This is the immediate powerful physical attraction to

someone.Such love burns intensely and then dies. Rarely that

this kind of love develops to a more lasting love.

Ludus/ Playful or Self-centred Love

“Love is just a game”. People with this style of love tend

not to become attached to their partners nor allow their partners

to really get attached to them. They do not want commitment

because they consider love as full of challenges and struggles

which they want to avoid.

Storge/ Companionate Love

This kind of love started from friendship wherein the

two individuals share a common interest and they enjoy

doing things together. Gradually, this friendship develops into

love. Unlike other couples, if these couples decide to

separate as lovers, it is just easy for them to remain as friends

again.

4. Mania/ Obsessive or Insecure Love

Obsessed lovers often feel anxious and obsessed

with their partners. This kind of love may lead to furious

jealousy, helpless obsessions and tragic endings. The

manic lover is demanding and possessive toward the

beloved.

Pragma/ Practical Love

The lover looks for an appropriate match to his or her

own personality, characteristics, attitudes, beliefs, religion,

and interests and so on. With this, there is the hope that a

deeper bond and feelings may develop.

Agape or Altruistic Love

This is the type of love that is patient, kind and does

not require reciprocity

Dr.Gary Chapman

who developed the 5 love langauge styles

Words of Affirmation

This love language involves

expressing affection through spoken or written

words. Compliments, praise, and verbal

encouragement are important for individuals who

value this language.

Quality Time

People who prefer this love language feel

most loved when they receive undivided attention

from their partner. This includes meaningful

conversations and shared activities without

distractions.

Act of service

This language expresses love through

actions that help or support a partner. Doing chores,

cooking meals, or running errands for someone can

show care and appreciation.

Receiving Gifts

Individuals with this love language feel

loved when they receive thoughtful gifts, regardless of

monetary value. The emphasis is on the

thoughtfulness behind the gift rather than its cost

Physical Touch

This love language emphasizes the

importance of physical affection, such as hugs, kisses,

and cuddling. Physical touch can create a sense of

closeness and emotional connection.