Act 1 Just Juliet

START

JULIET: Nurse! Nurse!

NURSE: Juliet? Why are you watching the fighting? You shouldn’t be seeing that.

JULIET: But what’s going on? Is it us again? That’s like the third time this week!

NURSE: I don’t know how it started, but now it’s an all-out brawl. Like always.

JULIET: Well, Father should go down there and break it up, he’s more level-headed than all those men. DAD? Why is he out there fighting, too? Dad! Dad, stop! You’re way too old to be doing this!

NURSE: Juliet! Your father will tan your hide if he hears you saying such things.

JULIET: You know, I heard two Montague men were killed in a duel last week.

NURSE: Serves them right, the Montagues are the ones starting the fights.

JULIET: Nurse! That’s not even true. Tybalt is always walking around with his dagger practically half out.

NURSE: Good Lord! It’s the prince! Good lord…

JULIET: Oh no.

NURSE: I’d like him to tan my hide…

JULIET: What does that—

LADY MONTAGUE: Your majesty, I beg you. You know as well as I that this threat will not stop the fighting, and when the next fight happens, my husbands blood will be on your hands.

JULIET: That’s Lady Montague, right?

NURSE: I hate to see you go but I love to watch you walk away. Or I suppose ride away.

JULIET: Do you really think he’d behead father?

NURSE: Yes, I think he’s very… severe.

JULIET: Oh.

NURSE: Oh, don’t worry about that, Juliet! All that fighting and those declarations are men's things. We need to get you ready for the ball tonight.

JULIET: Oh right. Huzzah.

NURSE: And it’s a masked ball! Which mask should you wear, Juliet? The purple one with the purple dress or the–

JULIET: I don’t care.

NURSE: What’s wrong? You love picking out outfits.

JULIET: Father will try to get me to dance with his weird old friends, Like Lord Barbantio and the County Paris.

NURSE: Paris isn’t that old.

JULIET: He’s thirty-something. He could die any minute now. And I’d rather just dance with Katherine.

NURSE: You girls are both women now. You can’t be acting like children. There are girls younger than you who are already married.

JULIET: Should they be? Katherine’s only been married for a month, and she’s a whole different person now. She used to be so happy and outgoing. She’d laugh and make jokes with me, but now she’s got this scared look in her eyes all the time; she looks lifeless.

NURSE: Well, that’s because she’s married to that horrible Petruchio/ and he–

JULIET: /She’s with him all the time! It’s like they cuffed together or something.

NURSE: She’s in love! There’s really not anyone that makes you feel like that Juliet?

JULIET: Like I wanna be cuffed to them?

NURSE: No. It’s sort of like you’re gonna hurl, but it’s good.

JULIET: Hurling can feel good?

NURSE: No, it’s– you feel this a little bit lower than your stomach.

JULIET: What? Oh. Sometimes, when I look at Sampson, my stomach drops and I have little tingles that I feel everywhere but it starts a little bit lower than my stomach, and it is good. It’s sort of dangerous. The same thing happened when I accidentally touched Gregory's hand when I tripped over my dress the other day. Is that what you mean?

LADY CAPULET: Juliet!

JULIET: Shit. Yes, my lady mother?

LADY CAPULET: Enough. Juliet. How do you feel about getting married?

JULIET: Married?

NURSE: Oh, how wonderful! We were just talking about that.

JULIET: No we weren’t! We were talking about birds and bees and vaginas!

LADY CAPULET: Juliet! Your father and I think it’s time. The other noble girls, many younger than you, are already married! We don’t want people to think of you as a spinster. Even Katherine is already married. Plus, when I was your age, I was already with child.

JULIET: And how old am I, mother?

LADY CAPULET: Oh well of course you’re...you’re...Your father and I already have a man for you— The County Paris! He’ll be at the ball this evening, and we’ll make sure to formally introduce you to him as his fianceé.

JULIET: Paris?! He’s so old, he’s like 30!

LADY CAPULET: He is not old.

JULIET: He’s practically geriatric!

LADY CAPULET: Age is just a number. He’s a good man, and a handsome one at that. I’m sure you’ll like him.

JULIET: I’ve met him before at one of these parties— he’s an asshole!

LADY CAPULET: Language! Watch yourself, you better not speak like that at the

ball tonight in front of Paris. Well, I’m sure it’s just nerves. I was so nervous when I was told I’d be marrying your father. I didn’t even get to meet him before the wedding. But look at you, you’re getting to fraternize with Paris a little before the big day.

JULIET: A little bit before?

LADY CAPULET Now, I’m not saying you need to marry him tonight; this can be a long engagement. We can schedule the wedding for next month. You will be open to this?

JULIET: I’ll talk to him.

LADY CAPULET: Wonderful. Good girl. The guests are arriving. Let’s go, Juliet. That might be Paris at the door! Let’s start the evening off right, shall we?

JULIET: Yes, of course, my dearest lady mother.

START

JULIET: Hi, Katherine! How are you? It’s been a while.

KATHERINE: Yes, it has. I’m fine, Juliet. It’s good to see you.

JULIET: May I have this dance, my lady?

KATHERINE: I don’t think so.

JULIET: Katherine, come on! I need to have fun at this thing. Let’s go dance together and pull on people’s hems under the banquet table. We could make these parties actually enjoyable again!

PETRUCHIO: When we have our own kid, there’s no way in hell I’d let it act

like that if it comes out a girl. Good thing you’re giving me a son!

JULIET: You’re pregnant?

PETRUCHIO: Trying for little Petruchio Jr!

JULIET: How do you know it’ll be a boy?

PETRUCHIO: It’ll be a boy.

JULIET: I actually just learned about babies today and you can’t know that before/you give birth.

PETRUCHIO: /Well, Juliet, we’re gonna go talk to anyone else now.

Congratulations to you and the County Paris; I’m sure you’ll

make him real happy.

JULIET: Speak of the fucking devil!

PARIS: It’s a pleasure to see you again, Juliet.

JULIET: You too.

PARIS: I’m looking forward to our wedding. I can already picture you as the most beautiful bride.

JULIET: I haven’t said I’d marry you.

PARIS: Right. How many children do you want?

JULIET: Children? I don’t–

PARIS: That might have come on too strong, we can discuss children after we’re married, of course.

JULIET: Of course.

PARIS: You look really beautiful, Juliet.

JULIET: Thank you.

PARIS: May I— uh, have this dance?

JULIET: Oh, uh, you know who you should meet? My friend Katherine! (to Petruchio) Have you seen Katherine?

PARIS: Petruchio! Oh, Juliet, you mean Kate. Petruchio and I are old friends.

JULIET: Oh that’s just wonderful.

PARIS: It’s good to see you so happy. Might I say, Kate really surprised us all and has become just the most dutiful wife. Juliet, maybe Kate could teach you a thing or too? You’ve been avoiding me all night.

JULIET: What?

KATHERINE: Paris, it’s nice to see you.

JULIET: Katherine, I need your help in the bathroom.

KATHERINE Are you alright?

JULIET: I need you to come with me, right now, please.

PETRUCHIO: What do you need her for?

JULIET: Lady problems?

KATHERINE: Ok, what’s the matter? Are you on the rag?

JULIET: It’s not that.

KATHERINE: Is it about Paris? It’s good that you’re getting to talk to him.

JULIET: I wouldn’t call it talking. I barely got a word in.

KATHERINE: He didn’t let you talk?

JULIET: No, he just wasn’t listening to me. And he was acting like I’d already said I’d marry him.

KATHERINE: Well, aren't you going to marry him?

JULIET: No! Why would I do that?

KATHERINE: We have no other option.

JULIET: Sorry, I don’t have any interest in being a ‘dutiful wife’ like you apparently are.

KATHERINE: What is that supposed to mean?

JULIET: Why did you marry him?

KATHERINE: Because I had to.

JULIET: He’s a pig!

KATHERINE: Juliet please—It’s best for you to just agree to this. Even if you don’t love him, maybe with some time you’ll at least get used to him.

JULIET: What? I’m not ready to get married, and I definitely don’t love him. Katherine, Nurse was talking about how it feels when you love someone, and I don’t feel anything like that. There’s not a good nauseous feeling. You know what I’m talking about?

KATHERINE: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

JULIET: Oh. Don’t you at least miss how things were before Petruchio?

KATHERINE: Yes.

JULIET: I miss you.

KATHERINE: There’s just no way out of this. Trust me. This is what happens, you grow up and you get married off. It'll be easier for you if you just do as you’re told. Please. The best you can hope for is that you’ll love him eventually. Maybe he already loves you.

JULIET: But you’re not in love?

KATHERINE: If your father and Paris both say you’re getting married, then

you better start picking out a wedding dress.

JULIET: I’m going to figure something out, alone, then.

LORD CAPULET: Thank you all for coming to our masked ball tonight! Aren’t these things so much fun? Getting to dance with a masked stranger! You know I met my wife at one of these! Hi sweetheart! Well, anyways, have fun, everyone! We’ve just opened another barrel of wine, so let’s keep the night going!

JULIET: Who is that?

LORD CAPULET: What are you thinking? Pissing off the Prince’s cousin! Those boys aren’t causing any trouble. Right Juliet?

JULIET: Yeah, don’t throw him out.

TYBALT: Juliet, shut up.

JULIET: You are the worst cousin ever; do you know that?

TYBALT: Oh really? What about cousins who commit parricide, huh?

JULIET: Parricide? What is wrong with you?

ROMEO: If I profane with my unworthiest hand This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.

JULIET: Woah. Good pilgrim, you doth wrong your hand too much, Which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.

ROMEO: Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?

JULIET: Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.

ROMEO: Hi.

JULIET: Hi.

ROMEO: I can’t stop looking in your eyes.

JULIET: Can you stop long enough to kiss me again?

NURSE: Juliet! Juliet, Paris is looking for you! Juliet!

JULIET: Yes, Nurse?

NURSE: Who on earth was that?

JULIET: I–I–I don’t know.

NURSE: Good Lord. Go, Juliet, Paris has been asking for you all–

JULIET: Wait, wait. I need to know that boy’s name.

NURSE: But Paris is—

JULIET: Will you go ask him? Please, he gave me the good nauseous feeling. Like, a lot.

NURSE: Alright.

JULIET: That was... amazing. Who knew that just kissing could feel so good. His hands were so gentle and warm but strong, I just want to stay behind that curtain forever and forget about Paris. That boy is nothing like Paris. He’s nothing like Paris. He can be my out.

NURSE: He’s a Montague.

JULIET: FUCK!

START

JULIET: Nurse, please please please tell me his name. He’s more than just a ‘Montague.’

NURSE: No, Juliet, you’re engaged.

JULIET: I never agreed to that. What is Montague boy’s name?

NURSE: No.

JULIET: Please,

NURSE: Stop.

JULIET: But—

TYBALT: God! That was such bullshit tonight, right?

JULIET: Would you get the fuck out of my room?

TYBALT: I can’t believe my lord didn’t let me sucker punch those

Montagues, and throw them out of the door as far as I could.

JULIET: I don’t think you could have thrown them very far.

NURSE: Tybalt, they were just having fun! You should relax. Maybe have

some more wine.

JULIET: And Nurse and I are kind of in the /middle of something so can

you...

TYBALT: /How can anything be fun if we have to worry about the Montagues

doing...doing...

JULIET: Doing what? How have you not realized how dumb you sound?

TYBALT: Because I’m a man of the family.

JULIET: You’re a man in this family.

NURSE: I know!

JULIET: Goodnight, Tybalt.

TYBALT: Goodnight.

JULIET: His name’s Romeo?

NURSE: Yes.

JULIET: O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

NURSE: Juliet, I hope you didn’t do a whole show behind that curtain earlier. The County won’t have you if he finds out you’re not a virgin.

JULIET: That did not happen! And besides, the County will never have me.

NURSE: He’ll have you on your wedding night! It is his right, you know, once you’re married. And your duty as a wife! Oh, I remember my wedding night. I was terrified of it until my married friends told me what happens.

JULIET: What happens? Is it more than just making a baby?

NURSE It’s too late to be talking of such things. I don’t want to give you any ideas, in case you see that Montague boy again. You don’t know if he’s a gentleman, and you want a gentleman for a husband.

JULIET: How can I know if he's a gentleman?

NURSE: Well, my husband, God rest his soul, looked at me like I was a goddess, and treated me like one too, in more ways than one, if you know what I mean.

JULIET: You know I don’t.

NURSE: He loved me, a lot, all the time. And valued my word.

JULIET: And you loved him?

NURSE: Oh, more than anything.

JULIET: What if you hadn’t? Or what if he didn’t love you like you wanted?

NURSE: I’m sure Paris loves you. Who wouldn’t love you, Juliet! Goodnight sweet girl!

JULIET: Goodnight, Nurse.

I don’t care if Paris loves me. I won’t be tamed like Kate. There used to be a fire in her eyes that made everyone pay attention to her. She would say what she was thinking and everyone would listen. Sure, people called her names but at least she was happy. Watching her jump at the snap of someone’s fingers makes me sick. I owe it to her to not let Paris do that to me. If I’m forced to marry, I’ll have to marry someone else. But Romeo must be a gentleman, right? A gentleman beyond simply a title. His hands were so gentle when he touched me. If I could see the heavens in his eyes then I just know he must have a good heart. Or at least I have to trust that he does. I can’t trust Paris and Petruchio. With Romeo I see so many paths, With Paris, I only see a dead end. I really do wanna touch him again, He’s a gentleman if there ever was one, But dad would say a Montague could not be.

'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;

Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.

What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,

Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part

Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!

What's in a name? that which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet;

So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,

Retain that dear perfection which he owes

Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,

And for that name which is no part of thee

Take all myself.

ROMEO: I take thee at thy word:

Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized;

Henceforth I never will be Romeo.

JULIET: Who the fuck is there?!

ROMEO: By a name

I know not how to tell thee who I am:

My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself,

Because it is an enemy to thee;

Had I it written, I would tear the word.

JULIET: How did you get here? There are guards all along the garden wall! Are you hurt?

ROMEO: With love’s light wings did I o’er perch these walls,

For stony limits cannot hold love out!

JULIET: Romeo,

If they do see thee, they will murder thee.

ROMEO:

My life were better ended by their hate

Than death proroguèd, wanting of thy love.

JULIET: No, really, Romeo. They will murder thee. How’d you even know where my room was?

ROMEO: Well, I had to sneak around the house a couple of times, but then I heard your voice and—

JULIET: Wait– you heard all that?

ROMEO: The last half. I like to think that I’m a gentleman.

JULIET: If we were married, how would you treat me, as your wife?

ROMEO: I’d love you like the stars love the sky.

JULIET: That’s nice, but how would you make your wife act?

ROMEO: I’d want her to love me as much as I love her. I’d make sure she was happy, but I couldn’t make her do anything.

JULIET: Really?