HDFS 1070 Exam 3

Sexual Identity

how you see yourself as a sexual person

Sexual script

how you put your sexual identity into action

the 5 W's for Sexual Identity & Script

1) Who you have sex with

2) Why you have sex

3)What you do in sexual situations

4)When do you have sex

5) Where do you have sex; where physically is it ok to have sex

-look at following notecards for descriptions >>

-- 1) Who you have sex with?

*sexual orientation: same-sexed or opposite sex individuals?

-usually people form this long before they are sexually active (people develop to like a particular sex)

*personal qualities that stimulate excitement

-every women grows up with qualities they think they need to have

-qualities are a bigger deal for women than they are for men, in terms of sex

-what characteristics of people result in you feeling sexually aroused?

--2) Why you have sex (motives)

*Culturally "endorsed" motives

-traditional; religious script= an expression of love, a way of reaffirming your marriage, for the SACRAMENT of marriage

*Romantic script: you have sex with people you are romantically attracted to... how romantically involved and for how long do you have to be with that person ... there must be a commitment first

-mainly women

*Recreational script: have sex for FUN

-it's ok to have sex, as long as it's not exploited

-nothing says it has to be consented (sex for the sake of sex)

--most young people are stuck in the romantic or recreational script

*Utilitarian script: you have sex with someone in exchange for some benefit (ex: power).. using sex for other gains --> way of gaining control of men

-sex = instrumental value.. ex is prostitution

-most people that start recreationally having sex will eventually turn into the romantic script

3) What you do in sexual situations?

-in the interpersonal sexual realm you have to negotiate that (compromise)

-as kids we are bombed with different ideas on sex

4) When do you have sex

-how intimate does it have to be, when in your life/ relationship

-depends on where you are in your lifespan or the stage of a relationship

5) Where do you have sex?

where physically is it ok to have sex?

-ex: in the bedroom, under the covers, and in the dark or a public place??

Shapers of the sexual script

-parents

-media

-school

-peers

-experience as a shaper (how the scripts are influenced by the sexual experiences kids have)

Parents as shapers of the sexual script

which script do they endorse?

-parents usually wait until they feel the kid is "ready" so kids go elsewhere for this info.. it is actually the parent that isn't ready!

-from childhood kids are exposed to sex; "where did I come from?" ... parents get anxiety

Media as shaper of sexual script

early exposure in children's media with young girls and boys being romantically involved

-sex is an important part of your identity and relationships (now starts at a younger age)

School as shapers of the sexual script

-supposed to include health and sex education (health education is mandated)... usually they wait until your adolescent years for sex talk

-by separating boys and girls when teaching about sex the school communicates that they cannot talk to one another about this topic

-how many schools teach about sex, drinking and drugs is "Don't do it, it will kill you," rather than providing info on how to do it safely if it is done

Peers as a shaper of the sexual script

-boys teach boys about sex --> "you'll increase your status as a man if you have sex".. learn to objectify females, teach each other that girls are gatekeepers and will "open" their gates if you say you are invested and develop trust; you just have to push to open them... learn it is OK to pretend to be committed

-girls learn a more romantic version- they also objectify each other, they learn they are the gatekeeper.. you control how far sex goes

--identify consequences for being too easy -> "slut"

-shouldn't be active unless you're sure the guy is committed

-guys will lie about commitment

-best to have sex when partnered with love

How doe these different scripts "map on" to the issue of consent?

"yes means yes" should actually be "ONLY yes means yes!"

males and females must seek consent; males should NOT keep pushing as they have been taught to do

TWO types of sexual experiences

1) Autoerotic experiences- masturbation and the gender divide (note the first study was just in 2009!)

-as children get older they appear more likely to masturbate (rises for both girls and boys, but much higher among boys)

-girls don't know how to "please" themselves... guys think they know how to arose girls when they prob are wrong in some cases

-all tips in favor of boys controlling early sexual experiences

(preadolescent boys spread a lot of myths about what pleases women)

2) Sex itself with someone else

For boys and girls, what was masturbation found linked to? (according to research)

linked with an increased likelihood of oral sex and intercourse

Possible consequences of these gender differences

-males approach sexual situations with more knowledge of themselves and pre-assumed knowledge of females

(relationship between knowledge and power?)

-females usually learn what is supposed to be "erotic" for them by paying attention to what males believe is erotic for a woman

Since the 1950s, what has changed in kids & sexual scripts?

*age of initiation has decreased (around 13/14 yrs)

(do not always have emotional maturity to handle sexual activity yet)

*percent sexually active has increased; has increased since the 50s, peaked at 80%, and is now slightly decreasing again

*closing of the gender gap

-in the past, there has always been more teen boys than girls sexually active.. changing now

*changes in gatekeeping standards

-in past, girls thought of themselves to still be virgins when only having sex with a person they were engage with... BUT, now sex with affection and withOUT commitment is more acceptable among girls

Why have these changes taken place?

-changes in cultural values; clearly more widespread acceptance of a recreational/ romantic view of sex

-Elkind's concept of the hurried child

-Prolongation of adolescence and delays in the transition to adulthood; now lasts from at least 13 - mid 20s)... avg age for marriage among college women is up to 28 yrs old, but for people not in school it is = 24 yrs old

Elkind's concept of the hurried child --

-emphasis on early maturity introduces kids to sexual behavior at earlier ages combined with less supervision

-more kids need to be in self-care than ever before --> gives kids access to sexual interaction

Consequences of such changes

*STDs

*Teen pregnancy

(public health and lifespan conseqences)

STDs

-must be reported by physicians because it is transmitable and can spread exponentially

-half of STD cases in US each year involve teens

-over 50% new HIV cases occur among teens

-consistently, surveys report that about 40% of teens admit they did not use a condom during their last time of sex

-safe sex does not mean you used a condom, but that you're free of STDs

What is being sexually active in adolescence predict?

-will probably be more sexually active when you are older

Teen pregnancy

-rates in recent years have gone down

--because fewer people are having sex, it is more protected, BUT the rates do NOT look the same for "experienced" teens

*overall teen birth rate (15-19 yr old)= 24/ 1000.. have decreased since 1991

-birth rates for white teens (17/1000) are much lower compared to African american teens (35/1000) and hispanic teens (38/1000)

*Teen abortion rates: overall this rate = 15/1000

-white teens have lower abortion rates as well, compared to African American (34.5/1000) and hispanic teens (15.3/ 1000)

*teen pregnancy= birth + abortion rates

= 39/1000 BUT teen pregnancy rate for sexually experienced teens is 107/ 1000

Although teen pregnancy, birth and abortion rates are down because fewer teens are having sex / are at least having sex, what is the issue?

for those that are sexually active it is still 1 in 10 chance of getting pregnant

teen pre rate means approx. 6/100 teens in US in 2013 experienced a pregnancy

...all of these rates are highest for African Americans

Rates are different by social class

in 90% of red states the major employer is Walmart

versus in states in the Northeast (mainly blue), such as CT, it is Yale Medical

-birth, abortion ,and pregnancy rates are higher in southern states (many red states) than in CT

Cross cultural comparison of birth/ pregnancy rates

-much higher in US compared to places like Sweden or Canada

-means kids in the US are less likely to practice safe sex

-contraceptive risk taking is less common than in the past

Adolescent egocentrism

-destined for fame/ fortune

-imaginary audience

-invincibility fable

(self-centered; inability to understand other peoples points of view)

*no reason to believe that egocentrism is more a feature of US adolescents when compared to those in other countries

So what actually differs from the US across countries?

-values are particularly different in other countries (mainly in those with lowest rates)

-broader acceptance of sexuality with an accompanying emphasis on its naturalness and the importance to teach kids about it as an aspect of one's identity/ personal relationships

(widespread ambivalence in US)

-commitment by other countries to make contraception readily available-- health care and contraception are rights!

-but here we do NOT talk about how kids should talk about sex with others

Jocelyn Elders

-first Surgeon General of US (appointment by Bill Clinton)

-in a conference on the AIDS epidemic someone asked if she would support teaching girls about masturbation and she said yes --> public outrage --> fired within a week for "contrary values" to the administration

--honestly, even today we probably would not appoint someone like this to high government offices.

Adolescence

not a child, but not an adult (the period that expands between the two)

Early versus Later Adolescence

early= 13-18 yrs (used to be able to get a job at 18)

later = 19-25 years (& rising?); emerging adulthood

-continues to get longer

Why two stages of adolescence instead of one??

-because now that times have changed and it takes longer for people to get a job, job stability, get married, etc and actually achieve/ exceed their parents expectations

-people can no longer just have a high school diploma and live comfortably

--more to be done and preparation before you really get into the adult phase

Why is adolescence taking longer?

-requirements for adulthood are becoming more complex (high school diploma is no longer all you need)

-economic factors; inflation, economic downward mobility (this trend has become more expansive since around 1995/ 2000)

--you are expected that it will be difficult to exceed your parents standard of living (less likely today for young people to do this)

so: you will prob live longer in adolescence and it will take longer to get job stability and marry and move out

Pressures in adolescence revolve around ______

IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT

-start to receive this pressure the minute you turn a teenager; continues for 10-20 years

Identity triangle

Occupation, life style (values and living style), and ideology (what values define you as a person?; liberal or conservative, religious?, etc)

Where does the pressure come from for identity development in adolescents?

Where does the pressure come from?

-parents

-teachers

-peers

-every where and every one

In EARLY adolescence, what do the tensions revolve more around?

lifestyle and ideology, rather than occupation

In LATER adolescence, what do the tensions change to revolve more-so around?

occupation

-always was prominent, but just becomes more prominent during later adolescence

However, is there still a tension among all three prongs of the identity triangle at all stages?

YESSS

During early adolescence, what happens as kids become less egocentric?

they become more aware of the norms of conformity and the value of fitting in

Paradoxically, the first step in establishing a separate identity involves exploring who one is within various social systems/ groups!

-aware of what others think

-peer pressures are identity pressures in some respect

Psychosocial crisis of early adolescence****

group identities versus alienation

-Group identity = committing to an identity that is based on values and ideologies of the groups one is connected to (as a 13, 14, 15 yr old you do not realize you are being seduced by the groups around you)

-Alienation= a negative form of involvement with social systems -- where you believe that your goals and system goals are not compatible

--experienced in relations to other groups/ systems (in which the groups promote values not congruent to your own)

-antiphisisi (opposite) of group identity

Central process in early adolescence**

peer pressure

-compels us to consider how & to what degree we are connected to or alienated from social systems

(different groups dress/ speak differently)

Alienation is reflected in?

the degree to which one feels that one can achieve their goals by participation in various social systems

-exists on a continuum: Group Identity <-----> Experience of Alienation

(as you adopt values of certain groups, you're alienated by others)

-involves a reaction that we have to various social systems

(alienation is a normative experience up to a point)

Attitudinal manifestations of degrees of alienations

*normlessness- result of high degrees of alienation

-you don't have groups you fit with (no norms)

*meaninglessness- feel like you have no meaning if you have no group

*social isolation

*purposelessness = "no purpose in life"

-these are all the extremes of alienation

-more likely to occur when peer pressure situations push you out/ you don't fit in

Possible social systems that you can be alienated from

-family

-school systems/ teachers

-peers

-community/ neighborhoods

-church

-employer

Early Identity is grounded in:

our positive connections to others

-we define ourselves through our positive connections to others (with our families, neighborhoods, schools, etc)

-we define ourselves in reaction to the systems we feel alienated from

Modes of adaptation to alienation

compelling question here is what does a person do when he or she is negatively involved with a broad array of social systems

-aka, what does a person do when he or she believes that these broader systems serve as an obstacle to personal development

coping mechanisms of alienation

=CSRR

rebellion

self estrangement

conformity

retreat

-Rebellion

attempt to change the system to bring about a better fit between self and other systems (change it to be in line with you)

-reduces alienation by gaining more people to your side

-more likely to be used when degree of alienation is not so extreme. need to believe change can take place

-Self Estrangement

accept the alienation as a defining feature of oneself

"I don't fit in, and I am ok with not fitting"

*most young people do not have the maturity to behave this way

-Conformity

change yourself to better fit in with broader systems

-depression can be understood as a manifestation of hopelessness AND/ OR as a manifestation of anger turned inward

-due to feelings of anxiety; conformity seen here as ultra-conformity (conforming as other youngsters do)

-you're discounting yourself and your values

-Retreat

abandon any hope of connection to broader systems; retreat into a world of relationships based upon a shared disregard for the values and attitudes of these broader systems

-retreat into a world where you align yourself with people who are also alienated and have lost all hope

TWO, but not mutually exclusive, retreating tendencies

(1) Self-destructive retreats- derive one's identity from committing to behaviors and beliefs that others find objectionable but are at the same time quite harmful to the self

-anxiety about identity is organized around committing harmful behaviors to self (looked down upon by others)

(2) Other-destructive retreats: derive one's identity from committing to the destruction of these other systems

-you act aggressively towards others (ex: kids vandalize schools in "expressing alienated identity")

Later Adolescence Identity Triangle (now speaking age 18-24)

Occupation (involves career decision making process), Lifestyle, and values

Psychosocial crisis of Later Adolescence

Identity versus Identity Confusion

*Identity= person is clear about their values, they have a set career & good working model/ vision for your future

*Identity confusion: anxious about working model of themselves, uncertain about certain values and lifestyles

Manifestations of Identity Confusion

-anxious identity: when some person is uncertain about their life goals/ aspirations

-anxiety & Identity foreclosure; when some people are under pressure they make a decision to shut down and make a premature commitment because the anxiety is too much to bear

--> may reduce anxiety, but you do NOT increase happiness

(benefits = you have a plan/ problem so you do something you don't like)

*longer you are uncertain, the longer you are anxious (increase in anxiety)

-the more you are off-time, the more the anxiety amplifies

young people need to be told they are still on time in their early 20s, but parents tell them they are not

Central Process in Later Adolescence

Role experimentation

-need to give young people many opportunities to experience different jobs, internships

Psychosocial Moratorium

this is the FINAL stage for identity development during which a person has the opportunity to try on multiple identities before firmly committing to one

need to put less pressure on young people, don't pretend high school seniors should have it all mapped out

- need for experimentation

-this is a period of time free from excessive identity pressures

Individuation

(from both peers and family)

-ability to act in age-appropriate ways; marked in your willingness to control yourself and move forward

*Indicators of individuation- balancing autonomy and connection in appropriate ways

-individuation can be conceived as both a requirement for identity development and an outcome, too

*have to be able to act in an autonomous way in which you are still connected to your family

Reworking patterns of dependencies

*Financial dependence-sometimes parents control you if you use their ; you become more responsible of your in this way

*Functional- taking care of day-to-day issues on your own (service you car, get own insurance)

*Emotional- all about psychological control --> the more you worry about disapproval, the more they have power over you

Individuation from ____ and ______ as a foundation for individual identity

peers and family

Individual identity as a foundation for Individuation from ____ and _____

peers and family

Family Tasks for the family with adolescents

system needs to provide support for identity and individuation

-reworking boundaries

-renegotiating patterns of authority (parents have to be able to shift authority to you with authority over your life)

Parent/ adolescent conflict as related to the renegotiation of patterns of authority

*Power legitimacy continuum:distinctions between authority and oppression

-legitimate expressions of parental power (youth view parents as having this legitimate authority)

--leads to experience of intimacy

-non-legitimate expressions of parental power:

youth feel unfairly dominated & controlled

--leads to an escalation of conflict

--erodes foundation of intimacy

DIFFERENCE: legitimate is just an issue of conflict; non-legitimate is an issue of conflict AND erosion of intimacy in relationship

What is necessary for parents to be willing to renegotiate boundaries and patterns of authority?

-necessary for youth to push for greater autonomy and authority

but, parents seem to require "evidence" of authority

Why do adolescents lie?

to avoid conflict with parents

-better if parents recognize the underlying issue than getting mad

Why do some parents need to be pushed to rework boundaries and patterns of authority?

-they are anxious for the sake of their child's happiness.. need to let child have possession of their own life

-genuine concern

Individuation enhancing pattern

**parents remain present, but not intrusive

*empathetically responsive to the tensions experienced by youth (require de-centering and ability to self-loathe & empathy!)

-parents lose opportunity to be a supportive parent if they let their anxieties overcome them

Individuating Inhibiting Patterns

*expelling-parents get frustrated and expel you --> you're on your own! "You don't matter"... prematurely pushed into autonomy

*binding- parents hover, ore-involved... they try to guide you all the time and control you because they can't overcome their anxiety

-kid denied opportunities to experiment and learn about yourself

delegating (newer type): parents attach their own identities to the success of their children and pressure their kids to live a certain lifestyle

"I want you to excel and become a doctor because that will become my identity".. vicariously living through you & all that seems to matter is that you succeed (usually happens with high-achieving kids)

Problems of youth

*gangs

*cults

*runaways

*substance abuses= drugs, alcohol (aka alcohol abuse, not just experimentation), food: bulimia or anorexia (usually in girls)

-sex also considered substance abuse because these people are overly committed to sex... addicted)

*Anxiety disorders: so much anxiety that it prevents you from having joy in your life; you cannot do your work nor function properly

narcissism

suicide

Why is it important to have some idea of etiology for these problems in youth?

(etiology= cause; multiple causes exist for these problems)

-no single or simple explanation

-no single or simple solution

Holding EnvironmentSSS

(emphasis on the S intended)

-if the holding environments for youth reduce anxiety, that fosters positive development for the child

-important to youth: peers, family, school systems (aka primary shapers of kids lives)

What is the primary emotion and secondary reaction in this case?

-anxiety is the primary emotion

-problem behavior is the secondary reaction

--> anxiety is the locus for problem behaviors

Youths and developmental niche

must see youths as residing within a developmental niche that includes family and a radius of significant others....

*Niche generates anxiety:

-trust

-competence

-mattering

note on reactivity

when faced with "emotion-invoking" situations (within the family or peer world) the tendency is for individuals to REACT in ways that subvert their own development

Secure versus Insecure

Secure- results from positive holding environments

insecure- results from feelings of anxiety due to problems associated with mattering, competence, and trust

--must feel like we matter to reduce anxiety

What must be addressed in order to treat problem behavior?

anxiety

reactivity attempts to manage what?

the anxiety / emotion

-this reactivity is reflected in what youth think (cognition), feel (emotions), and do (behaviors)

emotion-invoking experiences in youth

*youth alienation

*expelling dynamic

*binding dynamics

*delegating dynamics

Problems related to alienation and/or expelling

*forces within the family (if you are alienated then you are developmentally vulnerable to problem behavior)

*note: due to a legacy of anger and mistrust of authorities you need connection and closeness --> as a result, you join a group that will take you in, but will most likely lead to you being a delinquent/ arrested .... ex: gangs or cults

-tend to share a legacy of anger/mistrust

*fusing with girl/ boyfriend and joining his/her family (codependency- love is based on excessive anxieties.. not true love)

-the more you are dependent on someone, the more anxious you are, so you test them

*antisocial attitudes and behaviors

-antisocial behavior disorder: there are social conventions, you're against them

-their solutions to the anxieties become part of the problem

when people have the resources, what can anxiety transfer into?

HOPEFULNESS

-KIDS will stay anxious without help/ resources & are easily paralyzed by their fears

Binding

-all about competence

three basic solutions to this developmental dilemma

*fuse and give in

*cut-off (rebel)

*pseudo-individuate

*substance abuses

(look at following notecards >>)

Fuse & give in

-Anxiety?

-Depression? =severe form of feeling hopeless and helpless

--> can lead to suicide

-give in to your parents desires for you and feel trapped (ex from class)

-underfunctioner.. you constantly fear failure (due to anxiety about competence) and depend on others for help, dislike challenges --> parents over function for their kid because they also have anxiety

Cut-off (rebel)

legacy, though involving anger, is different than that sound within expelled youth! How?

--guilt, ambivalence, concern for approval. truly tormented!

*constructive cut-off= "I need to let go of this crazy family; I will prove them wrong!"

-these kids recognize their fam is crazy & they are not

*destructive cut-off= out of anger you leave the family and prove that you are destructive (by engaging in behaviors that do not help you)

Pseudo-individuate

FAKE individual

-here we can talk about certain kinds of substance abuse problems in youth - ones that involve youth exercising control over themselves but remaining dependent and in a child-like position within the family

-remain "adolescent-like" in the family's eyes

substance abuses

used as a way to make a bid to individuate from their binding families to get free of dependency, BUT in reality you are still dependent on family

ex= "I am going to rebel by doing drugs"... forced to rely on family still

delegating

need to understand youths' reactivity to parents' excessive need to control developmental trajectory of youth

-pressured to achieve for the parent, the parent's identity is caught up in your own

Narcissism

these people feel they are the center of the universe... do not care about others

What happens when parents try to live vicariously through you?

--> when parents live vicariously through you they are setting you at odds with your peers... communicating that you really do not matter, all that matters is that you achieve in school/ sports

Suicide

as a result of feeling trapped in life to do something/ live a life in a certain way

-feel they do not have control over their identity

--> sometimes constructive cutting off is necessary to avoid suicide in the future

Both narcissism and suicide are ____________

increasing!!

Developmental Tasks of Early Adulthood

-Knowing yourself, maturity, gaining ego resources to take on adult roles

-Commitment to life's work (career)

-Shaping your dreams: mapping out a vision for the future

-Find mentors; provide information and support. Males don't really have mentorship for relationships. Women have more balanced mentors that teach about both work and personal.

What is Maturity?

1.)Stabilizing of identity

-Solid secure working model of themselves, clear in your mind about what your goals are. The Identity Triangle is stable.

2.)Freeing from Personal relationships

-You're not so dependent on others for their approval or disapproval. When you're concerned about what other people think you're giving people power over you.

3.)Deepening of Interests

-You become clear about the things that you're passionate about. What brings you joy, what interests fulfill you. Know themselves.

4.)Expansion of Caring

Adults are responsible for the welfare of their children, their communities; a mature person understands that they have a commitment to making the future better for people.

Psychosocial Crisis of Early Adulthood

Intimacy vs Isolation

Intimacy

The ability to experience an open, supportive, tender relationship with another without fear of losing one's own identity in the process. Note: Playing peek - a - boo with baby. You're not monitoring your identity, you're not paying attention to joy.

Intimacy is characterized by several different abilities or capacities:

Mutuality: the ability and willingness to regulate one's needs in order to respond to the needs of one's partner

Empathy: skill enabling us to connect with others that allows us to respond to others. Ex: If you have a problem it becomes their problem (product of fusion), if like this then not allowed to have your moment to be taken care of

Trust: the ability to be in a relationship and know they differentiate and meet your needs

Note: intimacy is experienced when we are able to experience closeness without having to compromise who we are in the process, and vice versa.

Manifestations of Isolation

1.)Fusion

Giving up things for each party to reduce anxiety for each.

2.)Chronic Loneliness

Socially isolated; however they're tons of people in fused relationships that are lonely.

Interpersonal Attraction

1.)Rewards

Intimacy, fun, feel good, attractive, stable

2.)Costs

Compromise, give things up

3.)Outcomes

Ratio of the above two determines whether we continue relationship or not

4.)Comparison Levels (CL)(The unique values and expectations individuals bring to their rela- tionships. These are the standards against which the relationship is judged) - filter rewards and costs (in reading). Your personalized view of what you _____ in a relationship(experience shapes this):

-Realistically expect

-Deserve

-What's salient

5.)Comparison Levels for Alternatives (CL alt)

-Outcomes available in alternatives

-Costs/barriers to leaving

Basis for commitment

-High levels of attraction

-Perception of Reciprocity

->Secret tests: Test reciprocity indirectly; text whats up and see how long they take to answer. We do this because we need to guarantee their investment in us.

Basis for Trust

-High levels of attraction

-Commitment

-Perception of Reciprocity

-Equity/Fairness

Love as a secondary emotion

It is based in primary emotions of Joy and Anxiety(or both)

o In the presence of attraction, arousal, commitment, reciprocity, emerging trust we label the heighten emotional state LOVE