interpersonal communication

types of interpersonal relationships

voluntary and personal - best friend, partner

voluntary and social - acquaintance, activity partner

involuntary and personal - parents, siblings, colleagues

involuntary and social - distant relatives, co-workers, neighbors, classmates

why close relationships are good for you

social support is good for you, loneliness is bad, less risky behavior

how to reduce uncertainty in a relationship

self disclosure with depth and breadth, frequency and duration, and likes/dislikes and honesty

knapps staircase model

coming together: initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating, bonding

relational maintenance

coming apart: differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating, avoiding, terminating

relational turning point

significant life events or moments; making up is required for relational maintenance

managing communication privacy in interpersonal relationships

private info ownership - who owns information

boundary coordination - what you can share

boundary permeability - who is in or out

privacy turbulence - what happens

maintain communication in long lasting relationships

demonstrate affection and foster trust

4 horsemen apocalypse (detecting and antidotes)

criticism - criticizing things about the other person; solution: share I statements and a positive statement

contempt - disrespecting the other person; solution: treat each other with respect and appreciation

defensiveness - refusing to take responsibility; solution: accept responsibility, even if only partial

stone-walling - closing off to conversation; solution: take a break, calm down, return to convo

improving relationship through communication (gottman institute)

responding to bids, talking about “us”, communication smoothness, stay positive

family composition, characteristics, and history

sense of mutual identity, emotionally intense bonds, communication sets boundaries

family communication patterns

laissez-faire - low conversation, low conformity

protective - low conversation, high conformity

pluralistic - high conversation, low conformity

consensual - high conversation, high conformity

relationship of verbal to nonverbal

repetition - same message, different channels

accentuation - intensifying the verbal

substitution - no words necessary

regulation - conversational traffic cop

contradiction - leads to confusion

cultural display norms of nonverbal communication

proxemics - use of space

oculesics - use of gaze

facial displays - use of facial expressions