Something Rotten: Act 2

*In the middle of hard to be the bard*

*telling quill

What is it??? Tell me!

*quill

You know what you are?

*to quill

Please, enlighten me

*as quill

You’re a petulant

*As Shakespeare strangling quill

Shut up, mother!!!

Troupe: not sure about the eggs, I have some ideas, I agree

(As Toby)

Ey up! ‘Scuse me, lads

Names Toby belch. A humble actor from York. I come seeking an audition for the bottom brothers.

That’s us.

Oh! What an honor. I hear tell you creating a work that it…bigger than Shakespeare

That’s right. It’s a play full of songs-about an omelette

That’s the great idea?

What?

I said, “that’s a great idea!”

Here’s my head-sketch and resume

Hey. You’ve been in ever one of my plays.

I’m a massive fan. What can you say about the bottom brothers plays except-wow

It’s better than Shakespeare.

Um…is it?

Nick please-just listen.—he just wants to die-“to die, to sleep, to sleep perchance, to dream.”

That’s the great idea…

This has nothing to do with eggs!

That’s what’s missing! Why don’t I collect all these pages and hold them for safekeeping?

*after to thine own self be true* It’s like a good line and good advice!

I don’t know. I thought the whole breakfast theme was strong. Everyone loves breakfast!

Then why don’t I just get off your back.

Why don’t I just hang on to these-for safe keeping…

He wears the crown that should don my head. GOD I HOPE I GET IT!

Fair guests-wilkommen, bienvenue, welcome. The wedding breakfast is served.

*At start of make an omelette*

My father Neely dead and the funeral boiled eggs now coldly furnish forth the marriage table.

Pray nephew-what dost thou mean?

*After make an omelette*

I have a question.

Er fair uncle scar? Why doth thou speakeast when thou shouldn’t… speakest?

Because I want to know-how canst thou make an Omelette… when one of the eggs be rotten?

Ay, there’s the rub! The rotten one-is you!

Toby?

Or not Toby-that is the question .

Shakespeare?

And you said I was a bad actor.

Nick what’s going on?

That women is a soothsayer. And she was hired by…

…this man, who paid her to look into the future and steal my greatest idea.

No I don’t.

Yeah, that just happened. Exit Shakespeare!

*Shakespeare in court*

Shake-speare

Hi…hi…how are you? If it pleases the court…

Oh, the court is very pleased…

Continue.

Words without thoughts never to heaven go…

I love how he puts words in the wrong order

And the quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven. But!-if a merciful ending is not-with these characters and thee at thy bench-them, shall I see fair justice done.

Are you saying you might write a play about this? With me as a character? Well, I wouldn’t want to look the fool.

And you shan’t, lord falstaff-not if you spare their lives and see these mischief makers banished. Send them off this royal throne of kings, this sceptered isle-this England.

That is so much more elegant than beheading, I agree. Defendants, i sentence you to be banished. Transported on the first ship for the new world. And take your so-called musicals with you!

You’re welcome

For what? All those lines were from my pages. You’re just getting us out of the way so you can steal my work.

Getting beheaded would have been out of the way as well. No, the world is better with you in it-just not my world.

let it go, nick. Alls well that ends well.

Good line. Good night, sweet prince. And flights of angels…

Do something. I’ll figure it out. I’m Shakespeare!