cornerstones

Conflict

A natural part of relationships that can lead to growth when handled well.

Healthy Conflict

Honest disagreement rooted in love and humility, seeking understanding.

Unhealthy Conflict

Conflict driven by fear, pride, avoidance, or aggression, harming relationships.

Conflict as a Bridge

The idea that conflict can connect people more deeply by revealing truth.

Conflict as a Barrier

When conflict shuts down communication, trust, and relational connection.

Posture in Conflict

The inner attitude one brings into a disagreement (humble, loving, curious).

Honesty in Conflict

Speaking truth clearly without manipulation or hostility.

Love in Conflict

Prioritizing relationship and care even while disagreeing.

Humility in Conflict

Willingness to listen, admit wrongdoing, and learn.

Respect in Conflict

Valuing the other person’s humanity and perspective.

Goal of Conflict

Connection, clarity, and deeper relationship, not “winning.”

Unity Without Agreement

Remaining unified even when opinions differ.

Total Agreement

Expectation of identical thinking; Villodas says it's unrealistic and unnecessary.

Avoidance

A conflict style where issues are ignored or suppressed.

Aggression

A destructive conflict style involving attack or domination.

Passive

Aggressive Behavior

Mutual Vulnerability

Both people being honest about their feelings.

Listening Well

Understanding the other perspective before defending yourself.

Conflict as Formation

Conflict shapes emotional and spiritual maturity.

Seeing Conflict as Opportunity

Viewing disagreements as chances for growth.

Forgiveness

Choosing not to retaliate while acknowledging the hurt done.

Cycle of Offense

Pattern where hurt leads to retaliation and more hurt.

Breaking the Cycle

Forgiveness interrupts retaliatory patterns.

Naming the Hurt

Identifying and expressing how someone has hurt you.

Truth

Telling

Emotional Honesty

Fully acknowledging and expressing pain.

Spiritual Bypassing

Using spiritual language to avoid dealing with real hurt.

False Forgiveness

Pretending to forgive without addressing the wound.

Deep Forgiveness

Forgiving with honesty, clarity, and intentional healing.

Forgiveness vs Forgetting

Forgiving does not erase the memory or minimize the pain.

Forgiveness vs Reconciliation

Forgiveness is one

Requirements for Reconciliation

Trust, responsibility, honesty, and safety.

Costliness of Forgiveness

Real forgiveness involves emotional risk.

Liberation in Forgiveness

Forgiveness frees you from being defined by hurt.

Boundaries in Forgiveness

You can forgive while keeping safe limits.

Jesus’s Forgiveness Model

Jesus forgives truthfully, lovingly, and sacrificially.

Forgiveness as Grace

A gift freely offered, not earned.

Forgiveness as Healing

A process restoring emotional and spiritual wholeness.

Forgiveness and Justice

Forgiving doesn’t remove the need for accountability.

Reconciling Without Repeating

Reconciliation aims for rebuilding, not repeating harm.

Public Love

Love expressed in society through justice and action.

Private Love

Love expressed in personal relationships.

Justice

Public expression of love that restores dignity and fairness.

Biblical Justice

Justice focused on restoration and caring for the oppressed.

Jesus’s Justice

Healing, defending, and restoring marginalized people.

Shalom

Biblical concept of wholeness, peace, and flourishing.

Restorative Justice

Justice aimed at healing rather than punishing alone.

Systemic Injustice

Harm built into systems or institutions.

Systemic Love

Love that works to reform unjust systems.

Compassionate Action

Turning care into meaningful action.

Solidarity

Standing with marginalized people in their struggle.

Justice as Relationship

Justice rooted in empathy and connection.

Public Witness

Showing faith through justice

Restoration vs Retaliation

Justice aims to repair, not simply punish.

Power and Justice

Understanding how power is used or misused.

Community Responsibility

Everyone helps cultivate justice in society.

Love and Justice Connection

Justice is the practical form of love.

Wholeness through Justice

Justice creates societal healing.

Public Transformation

Justice changes communities and structures.

Wholeness

Healthy relationships with God, self, others, and society.

Three Practices of Wholeness

Healthy conflict, forgiveness, and justice.

Relational Wholeness

Wholeness lived out in relationships.

Why Conflict Matters

Engaging conflict creates growth and maturity.

Why Forgiveness Matters

Forgiveness prevents bitterness and promotes healing.

Why Justice Matters

Wholeness includes personal and social restoration.

Villodas’s Vision of Wholeness

Becoming whole through conflict, forgiveness, justice.

Wholeness Is Communal

We need community to practice wholeness.

Spiritual Maturity

Shaped by how we handle conflict, forgiveness, justice.

Holistic Formation

Integrates inner healing and outward action.

Study Guide Q1

How conflict can serve as a bridge, not a barrier.

Reflection for Q1

Did a recent disagreement deepen or block connection?

Study Guide Q2

Differences between healthy and unhealthy conflict.

Reflection for Q2

Where do you struggle with honesty vs love in conflict?

Study Guide Q3

Forgiveness as breaking the cycle of retaliation.

Reflection for Q3

Where is forgiveness hard, and why?

Study Guide Q4

Importance of distinguishing forgiveness and reconciliation.

Reflection for Q4

How does Jesus model costly, freeing forgiveness?

Study Guide Q5

What public love looks like and how it differs from private love.

Reflection for Q5

Where might you practice public love in your community?

Study Guide Q6

How conflict, forgiveness, justice form one vision of wholeness.

Reflection for Q6

Which practice is easiest or hardest for you?

Community Reflection Q6

How your community can cultivate wholeness.

Prayer Q1

“Help me see conflict as a potential path to love and truth.”

Prayer Q2

“Teach me unity even in disagreement.”

Prayer Q3

“Give me courage to forgive without denying pain.”

Prayer Q4

“Help me forgive like You—truthfully and freely.”

Prayer Q5

“Help me embody public love that seeks justice.”

Prayer Q6

“Use my words and actions to bring wholeness.”

Conflict Reflection

How have honesty and humility shown up in disagreements?

Forgiveness Reflection

Have you named, felt, and released a past hurt?

Justice Reflection

What social issue are you called to act on?

Personal Action Step

One practice (conflict, forgiveness, justice) for this week.

Community Action Step

One wholeness practice your community can adopt.

Jesus Summary

Jesus models conflict honesty, deep forgiveness, and justice.

Love as Action

Love is practiced through connection and justice.