CHAPTER 10: WHAT WE NEED NOW

Perry & Winfrey

Do most abused people go on to abuse others?

No. Most abused people do not become abusers, but they often develop adaptations that affect relationships.

Why do some people repeat unhealthy relationship patterns?

Because the brain is drawn to familiar patterns—even negative ones—leading to repeated maladaptive relationships.

What helps people “break the cycle” of trauma?

A few consistent, supportive adults who see their potential and provide nurturing relationships.

What is the Neurosequential Model?

A clinical framework that maps how a person’s brain is organized based on their developmental history. It helps clinicians identify which brain systems were impacted by adversity and what sequence of experiences can help reorganize them.

What does “regulate, relate, reason” mean?

Before reasoning with someone, you must first help them feel regulated and connected.

What is the first step in Neurosequential treatment?

Starting with the lower brain systems—sensory regulation—before addressing higher-level behaviors. clinicians don’t focus first on behavior problems (tantrums, attention, peers) because those skills depend on higher brain regions that can’t function well until the lower systems are regulated.

What does “stage vs. state” mean in the Neurosequential Model?

• Stage: The child’s true developmental abilities (not their age).

• State: The child’s current level of regulation and readiness to learn.

What should adults do when a child is too dysregulated to learn?

Pause teaching, regulate themselves, and focus on calming and connecting with the child.

Why must adults regulate themselves first?

A dysregulated adult cannot regulate a dysregulated child

How does trauma education help adults understand their own behavior?

It reframes emotional struggles as responses to what happened, not personal failings.

What is the significance of “the brain is plastic”?

Brain systems affected by trauma can change with the right plan.

What is a major principle of trauma-informed care?

Support the frontline adults—teachers, caregivers, parents—because healing depends on them being regulated.

Why does Oprah call trauma a “gift”?

It can produce empathy, compassion, forgiveness, and what Dr. Perry calls post-traumatic wisdom.

What is “post-traumatic wisdom”?

The ability to reflect, grow, and develop deep empathy after experiencing adversity.