Wedding SInger lines

julia

David bumps me and I throw my plate

Oh my god!

Robbie: Got it!

Woah, nice save!

Robbie: Just doin’ my job. You’re Holly’s cousin?

Right, Julia Sullivan.

Robbie: Nice meeting you Julia!

Nice meeting you too!

Holly: So, is your boyfriend taking you someplace nice tonight for your anniversary?

You know Glen. He’s full of surprises. At least, I hope he is. He said he’d call later… so I’m sure he will.

Holly: Maybe he’ll finally pop the question!

Don’t even joke about that.

Sammy: You know, Holly, your lips are saying “no”, but your eyes… yeah they’re pretty much saying “no” too.

Did you see the bride? She looks so beautiful… the hair, the dress, everything is perfect. She’s like the cover of a magazine.

Holly: I know. Don’t you hate her?

Hate her? She looks so happy! (sings Someday)

Holly: Julia, take that thing off.

Ok! (Continue singing)

Holly: I’ve seen the bridesmaids, we can take them!

Right behind you! (Continue singing)

George: You and I really need to have a talk. (Phone rings)

Glen? Oh, sorry, I thought you were my boyfriend. No, this is "Touch of Class”, not “Touch of”… what you said. (notices Robbie staring) Oh. Hi. What are you doing?

Robbie: Just… you know, writing a song for my fiancé, Linda.

That’s so sweet! She’s a lucky girl!

Robbie: No, I’m the lucky one. Linda’s… a goddess. She came to one of our gigs seven years ago, back when I was in a metal band called “Burning Sensation”. It was love at first sight for both of us. I’m just, having a little trouble with this thing… it’s kinda gotta be done by tomorrow.

Can I hear what you’ve got so far?

Robbie: Um it’s a little unfinished, but… here we go… (he sings and I interrupt after formaldehyde)

No! That’s a little dark.

Robbie says the line pancreas

That’s just weird.

Robbie: Look, writing a love song is hard! Okay?

Well, look I don’t know, but maybe you should think about how she makes you feel…

Robbie: “Awesome”

Write it down.

They finish singing

Wow. Will you make me a promise?

Robbie: um, sure…

If I ever actually do get married, will you sing at my wedding?

Robbie: It’s a deal.

And will you also promise not to sing that song? (the phone rings) Oh my God, that’s probably Glen!

Robbie: I’d better go. Thanks for your help with the tune.

Anytime. And I hope your wedding is… (rocking out) Awesome! Yeah, I’m just gonna answer the phone… Hello?

Glen: Jules! Guess where I’m calling from?

Where?

Glen: My car!

But… how can there be a phone in a car?

Glen: It’s called a “cellular phone”. You can take it anywhere. The battery’s a little big… but the reception is primo.

Cool…

Glen: So listen, you’re gonna kill me. But Martin just scored an extra ticket for the Knicks game. I know it’s our anniversary, so I told him forget it, but he said it’s really hard to get these seats. They’re courtside.

Oh. Well, hey, we can go out to dinner some other time.

Glen: You’re kidding. Really? Oh, baby, thank you! Look, I’m gonna make this up to you. I’ll have my secretary get us a reservation at Il Carousel.

The revolving restaurant?

Glen: Yeah, the one off of Exit 14. You get to see the sparkling lights of Newark every forty-five minutes or so.

I’ve always wanted to go there!

Glen: Well, you’re going! Happy anniversary, baby.

Happy anniversary, Glen!

Holly: So the girls are taking up a collection for Robbie. We’re gonna send him a fruit basket. Something nice, with kiwis.

You know, he even wrote Linda a song? And now she’ll never hear it.

Holly: After Glen pops the question tonight, you’re gonna have to start thinking about your wedding music.

Let’s not jump the gun.

Angie: Julia, honey, are you in there?

Is my mom still here?

Angie: You disappeared on me.

Look, mom, thanks for bringing my dress on such short notice. But I kind of need some space right now.

Angie: She’s having one of her freak outs. Look sweetheart, there are only two reasons why a man takes a woman out to a nice place like Il Carousel. It’s either to propose to her or to break up with he someplace where she can’t make a scene.

You think Glen’s going to dump me?

Angie: Of course not. But in the off chance that Glen doesn’t pop the question, you just have to give him a little nudge. Try a little wink, a little smile, a little fake pregnancy…

I don’t think that would work with Glen. He’s a lot smarter than Dad. What if I’ve wasted four years of my life?

Glen: …Now if Ivan’s buying, you know something’s up, so I go upstairs and we buy the other 5 mil for ourselves.

But isn’t that like… insider trading or something?

Glen: They don’t enforce that shit.

Oh.

Glen: What was that about?

Beats me…

Glen: Everybody’s having champagne. You don’t want any, do you?

I’m cool.

Waiter: Oh my god, dude! I thought you’d never ask!!

That’s it! Glen, I know why we’re here.

Glen: You do?

This is the end, right?

Glen: the end of what?

You know - “the end”. The end of you and me as boyfriend and girlfriend.

Sammy: People can be such assholes.

Robbie, maybe singing tonight wasn’t such a good idea. You’re still a little emotional.

Robbie: How can I have emotions… When my sounds been eaten by the Devil!

I’ll go get you a nice glass of water.

Shane: You suck!

Robbie? Are you ok?

Robbie: Did everybody leave?

Pretty much. Except a few cops who are still interviewing witnesses.

Robbie: I think I’m lying in creamed corn.

Robbie… why don’t you get out of there and go home?

Robbie: No! I live here now !

You’re just upset about Linda. But what was so special about her anyway? I mean, what kind of “goddess” would screw over a great guy like you? You’re gonna feel a lot better once you meet someone new.

Robbie: I’ll never meet anyone new.

Well, not in there you won’t.

Robbie: Maybe I was stupid to get engaged in the first place. I mean, look at you. You’re not engaged and you’re happy.

Um… actually….

Robbie: Wait a second - you got engaged?

Uh huh. Robbie, you’re still gonna sing at my wedding, right? You promised, remember?

Robbie: “No.”

Come on Robbie! Music is your life, you can’t just give it all up!

Robbie: I’m sorry, I just can’t sing at weddings anymore.

Well, maybe you could start out slowly. You know, just get your feet wet again. There have to be other functions you can entertain at besides weddings.

George sings his thing

I thought you could use a cold one.

Robbie: Thanks. Hey, nobody’s dancing.

They’re thirteen. Boys and girls aren’t interested in each other yet.

Robbie: True. It isn’t until later that the sickness creeps in.

Uh? maybe we should help George out, get the ball rolling. So is it good to be back?

Robbie: Yeah, you were right. I owe you one.

Funny you should mention that. Glen and I were supposed to go register today but some clients of his are in town.

Robbie: That is brilliant: he found a way to get out of doing all the wedding junk that guys hate.

It’s not funny. Now I have to go alone. If only there was someone who knew all about wedding who could come and help me out.

Robbie: So how did you know this Glen guy was “the one”?

The one? Well, I guess I always thought that the right one would be the guy I could imagine growing old with. And Glen, well, he’s so smart and good-looking. I guess I was just floored that a guy like that would be interested in someone who was just a waitress, you know?

Sammy: We had a pretty good laugh.. Man, you were hot back then. What I say?

Come on, Robbie. Whats it gonna take to get you to help me out? I’ll buy you an orange julius.

Enter for Not That Kind of Thing

I like the china with the floral pattern! Look at the little daffodils and rosebuds.

Robbie: What are you, like eighty years old? No guy is gonna wanna eat off plates like that. Just go with the white ones, anything else is gonna clash with that tablecloth you just bought.

The one you forced me to buy?

Robbie: It was 50% off!

It was 80% ugly! Besides, we’re not supposed to be buying stuff, we’re supposed to be registering for stuff.

Robbie: What about these?

Are you nuts? I’m not registering for black towels.

Crystal: I said hold it!

Um Robbie?

Robbie: No!

I said hold it!

Holly: Omigod! Hey, you guys! Where we going?

The bridal salon!

I see the wedding dress

Oh my God! That’s the dress. That’s the dress I was meant to get married in! What do you think? Can you picture me in it?

Robbie+Holly: Yes.

You think I’ll look alright?

Holly: You’ll look great! Glens not gonna be able to keep his hands off of you. The wedding kiss is gonna be super sloppy.

In church? In front of God and all our relatives and stuff? I think everyone would be grossed out.

Holly: Well, what do you want to do? Thin, tight mouth and it’s over?

No. Thin, partly open, no tongues, over.

Holly: No tongue? You need a little tongue.

Well, maybe like a sliver of tongue. No porno tongue. Church tongue.

Holly: Whag’s church tongue?

Um, it’s hard to describe.

Holly: Just shut up and hold still. Go on, Julia. Come on, we’re all adults here. I have to see this is I’m going to make an educated decision.

Ok, just for educational purposes.

Robbie: You may kiss the bride.

I do.

Robbie: Julia?

Yes, Robbie?

Glen: Word up, mofos!

Glen! How did you know…

Glen: I was next door picking you up a little present.

You shouldn’t see my dress before the wedding! It’s bad luck!

Glen: Why don’t you let me worry about our luck, baby?

Um, Glen, this is Robbie.

Glen: So anyways, I got you this new gadget. It’s called a CD Player. It cost like nine hundred bucks. But your fiance moved more paper last month than anyone on the desk, so I got a sweet little bonus.

Wow, that’s great, Glen, congrats.. you’re like an expert in junk bonds.

Glen: They’re not junk bonds, Jules. They’re high yield debt instruments.

Oh, sorry. Well, um, thanks for the present.

Holly: Oh, my god, Robbie is so amazingly cute. I think I should go out with him.

Yeah, why not? You’re single, he’s also single. Makes sense.

Holly: Well, hey, if you don’t want me to, I won’t do it.

Why would I not want you to?

Glen: Look at the wedding singer go! Holly is gonna rock his world tonight.

Wow, she’s kinda into him.

Glen: Anything wrong baby?

Why would anything be wrong? Let’s get drunk! Pour me a double shot of the brown stuff - and keep them coming.

Glen: Sure, why not?

I think we all of us make cuter couples totally together. Hey, Glen and I got engaged! Engaged to be married!

Robbie: You already told us that a few weeks ago. Is she okay? She seems a little tipsy…

(to Glen) I’m not tipsy! I’m hammered!

Glen: I told you some air would make you feel better.

You’re like, so awesome.. and your hair is so.. hard…

Robbie finishes singing

What would I do without you, Glen?

Holly: Wow, she’s alive. After that night at the club, I thought you’d be out of commission for at least a week.

That wasn’t me. That was my evil twin - Drunky McWasted. So… how did things go with Robbie? Anything happen?

Holly: We kissed.

Who kissed who? Did you kiss him or did he kiss you?

Holly: I kissed him, okay? But that was it.

So you and he didn’t…

Holly: Nope. Nothing. He sure doesn’t think much of Glen though. Said he’s a jerk off

Why does he think Glens a jerk off?

Holly: Who knows. Maybe he’s jealous.

Jealous? Why??.. Did he say that? Did he use that specific word? Jealous?

Holly: Well, jealous of Glens success, I mean

Oh

Holly: What else could he have meant? You know it’s hard for these guitar players. They can be fun to hang out with, but at the end of the day women want someone stable. Someone with a house, a car, a real job.. someone like Glen.

Wanna know a secret? I sometimes think Glen was a little sweeter when he had less. Do you think money changes people?

Holly: Yes. For the better.

sing

Holly: Surprise bachelorette party

It’s okay, Sammy. I don’t hear anything.

Rosie doing sweating to the oldies

Um Rosie.. Rosie?

Rosie: Oh, sorry, dear. I didn’t see you there. Would you like to join me in “Sweating to the Oldies”?

Um, maybe later. I just stopped by to drop off a little present for Robbie.

Rosie: Oh, what is it dear?

Blank sheet music for Robbie to write songs with. I wrote his name all fancy like on the top of each page. It’s nothing really, just a little something to thank him for helping me with all the wedding planning.