one act play lines 2024

how to kill a mockingbird

Yeah. (pause)

Hey, guys! You all ready for your group presentation tomorrow?

We are so ready.

Really?

You would not believe how ready we are.

Thats great.

Great for us. Maybe not so much for you.

Oh? What do you mean?

We’re on to you. We know your game

I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Sure you don’t

I really don’t.

It’s all about the mockingbirds.

You mean your copies of the book?

There’s really no mocking bird threat, is there?

Um…not that I know of.

So you admit it!

Admit what?

The sole purpose…that really isn’t there!

What?

Don’t “what” us! You admitted it! You can’t take it back now!

Im not taking anything back. I just don’t have the slightest idea what you’re talking about. What did i admit? And did you say how to kill a mockingbird?

Yeah! That’s the name of the book, isn’t it?

No, Blair. It’s To kill a mocking bird.

What do you think we are? Stupid? Thats a dumb name for a book. It doesn’t make sense.

Thats the name of the book Dusty.

Don’t try to pull one over on us. We figured it out. We know the truth.

I promise you, the title of the book is To Kill a Mockingbird. Did any of you actually read it?

No. We didn’t have to…You get kickbacks from the publisher for making the class read it, don’t you?

You’re serious?

We are totally serious.

And how exactly did you manage to figure all this out?

We put our heads together. (pause)

You’re obviously a very clever group. you’re right about everything. Im sorry I lied and I apologize for the part i’ve played in this vast conspiracy. Im very ashamed of myself. Im going to sit at home and contemplate the error of my ways.

Um. yeah. sure.

BURST INTO LAUGHTER

okay look, you’re starting to freak me out here.

So much for keeping a straight face. Darn. I was really looking forward to seeing the class’s reaction to this tomorrow.

Are you not going to be there or something?

What? Were you not clued in by my complete and utter loss of control here that you guys are totally, incredibly, indescribably wrong?

Wrong?

Yes! Wrong! What part of “wrong” don’t you get?

The part about being wrong.

You are mistaken. Incorrect. In error. Missed the target. Wound up in the Bahamas and thought it was Asia. Wrong.

You’re not fooling us.

Guys. For real. If you don’t believe me, then look at the book.

We don’t need to look at the book.

Yes, you do need to look at the book. Or you can just wait until your presentation tomorrow and see how the rest of the class reacts. Your call.

Does this mean we won’t get an A?

Its looking doubtful, Aubrey, but you haven’t actually presented yet, so its kind of up in the air.

But we haven’t read the book.

It’s not like it would be the first time that ever happened. Tell you what, though. I had a pretty lousy day today. Traffic. Students Acting up. My daughter called me a while ago upset that SHE was having a bad day at work. I needed a good laugh. Whatever you do tomorrow - so long as its remotely in the right ball park, I’ll give you ten points extra credit. You’re pretty much guaranteed at least a C. So I suggest you get your books and read at least a couple of pages.

Hey.

Ready to go out for your birthday dinner?

I am extremely ready.

Me too. So, now that you’re calmer that you were on the phone earlier, why don’t you tell me about the customers who got you so upset?

After we leave, Mom.

Oh?

They’re still here.

They are?

Yeah. Them.

I see…

Are you still here?

Oh…have you all met before? Do you all know my mom?

Are these students of yours?

As a matter of fact, they are.

Oh, good.

Lets go eat. You can both tell me all about it over dinner.