Better Safe Than Sorry

Identity

The qualities, beliefs, personality traits, appearance and expressions that characterise a group or person

What are five factors identity can be shaped by with a small explanation?

• Family

  • Families may be role models about certain tolerance and respect behaviours

• Friends/peers

  • Our peers have a greater influence when we become more independent and mature

• Societal values

  • People’s common beliefs bring them closer and influence their actions and way of thinking

• Body image/self esteem

  • Instead of embracing and celebrating diversity in all body types, we tend to concentrate on physically unattainable perfection

• Culture and community

  • The culture a young person grows up in affects the way they see themselves, including how they move and adapt in adulthood

• Unrealistic standards on physical appearance

  • The media has the tendency to expose adolescents to unrealistic images of appearance through magazines and social media

Sexuality

The understanding of gender, sex and attractions that people feel towards others

What is sexuality influenced by?

The interaction of biological, psychological, social, economic and spiritual factors

What does STI stand for?

Sexually transmitted infection

What is an STI?

Infections passed between people through sexual contact due to bacteria, viruses or parasites

What does it mean if a health professional asks if a person is sexually active?

They are asking if the person has recently engaged in sexual activity

What are three examples of low risk sexual activities?

• Kissing

• Cuddling

• Masturbating

• Oral sex

What are good defences against STIs?

Abstinence or barrier methods such as condoms

What do sexual health checks consist of?

A medical checkup to assess sexual health, screen for STIs and discuss any sexual health concerns

Who are sexual health checks generally recommended for?

Sexually active people or people who have STIs

What is a Condom Credit Card (CCC)?

A confidential program that provides free condoms and sexual health information

What are five examples of STIs?

• Chlamydia

• Gonorrhoea

• Syphilis

• HIV

• Hepatitis B

• Genital Herpes

True or False: Some STIs can be passed on without necessarily practicing sexual intercourse.

True, it can be passed through fluids such as semen

What is contraception?

The use of medicines, devices or surgery to prevent pregnancy

What is the most effective contraceptive method?

Permanent sterilisation

True or False: Contraceptive methods can protect against STIs.

True, items such as condoms can protect against STIs

What are the two types of boundaries with a brief explanation of each?

• Physical boundaries: the physical space you think of as personal, and the rules set by an individual on who can touch them

• Emotional boundaries: it is important to know that you are only responsible for your own feelings, and it refers to the foundation of trust in a relationship

When should boundaries be set in a relationship?

It is good to set them early on, and make it clear to your partner that ‘no’ means no

What are five signs your boundaries are being crossed?

• Unfulfilled in relationships

• Emotional exhaustion

• Gaslighting

• Guilt

• Pressure

• Manipulation

• Saying yes when you mean no

What are three factors that could affect practical readiness?

• Time management (school, family and work)

• Emotional bandwidth

• Ability to prioritise yourself

• Understanding the consequences of intimacy

What does time management in a relationship refer to?

Time management between life and an intimate relationship, and strategies to manage both include intentional scheduling, clear communication and setting firm boundaries

What does emotional bandwidth in a relationship refer to?

Emotional bandwidth in an intimate relationship is the shared capacity to handle stress, emotions and vulnerability

What does high emotional bandwidth in a relationship look like?

Having high emotional bandwidth looks like navigating conflicts and hardships without shutting down and feeling safe to share the inner world of fear without judgement

What does low emotional bandwidth in a relationship look like?

Having low emotional bandwidth looks like having difficulty connecting or feeling present, quickly getting annoyed and a lack of intimacy

What does ability to prioritise yourself in a relationship refer to?

Prioritising yourself in an intimate relationship can be done through maintaining our own identity, making needs clear and fostering individual interests. It is important as it prevents codependency, builds mutual respect and enhances the relationship

What are three positive consequences of intimacy in an intimate relationship?

• Stronger connection

• Greater satisfaction

• Improved mental health

• Better physical health

• Hormonal benefits

• Personal growth

What are three negative consequences of intimacy in an intimate relationship?

• Disconnection

• Loneliness

• Increased conflict

• Reduced sexual desire

• Erosion of trust

• Mental and physical strain

What are three factors that affect intimacy in a relationship?

• Communication

• Vulnerability

• Life stressors

• Attachment styles

• Physical health

What are three factors of security in an intimate relationship?

• Having a sense of trust

• Emotional safety

• Predictability

• Open communication

• Consistent support

• Mutual respect

• Knowing your partner will show up for you in a conflict

How do you not rely on someone else to feel ‘whole’ in a relationship?

• Build your own self worth

• Do not seek completion and validation from the relationship itself

• Balancing time, trust, independence and seeking support are ways to deal with this

How does high self worth impact relationship choices?

High self worth attracts healthy partners, encourages boundary setting and fosters mutual respect

How does low self worth impact relationship choices?

Low self worth leads to settling for less, seeking validation, experiencing jealousy and creating unhealthy dynamics like dependency or controlling behaviours

What are three ways a healthy relationship typically looks like?

• People feel safe with the partner

• You are honest with each other, especially when it is hard

• You are willing to feel vulnerable

• You express your feelings, goals, dreams and values

• It is fun and there is banter

• There is no abuse or name calling

• You respect each other

What are three factors that a healthy relationship consists of?

• Trust

• Communication

• Honesty

• Spending quality time

• Healthy boundaries

What are internal reasons a person could want a relationship?

As they want genuine connection, trust and compassion. Someone may seek a relationship because they want emotional closeness, to feel understood or to share experiences with someone who supports and respects them

What are external reasons a person could want a relationship?

As they are influenced by outside pressures, such as peer pressure, wanting to fit in or feeling like society expects you to be in a relationship. These motivations are often driven by a desire for approval, popularity or meeting social norms rather than personal readiness

What do internal motivations vs external motivations for wanting a relationship say about the person?

• Internal motivations: the person is more emotionally mature, realistic and prepared for the responsibilities and communication a healthy relationship requires

• External motivations: someone is not fully ready, leading them to rush into relationships for the wrong reasons, struggle with boundaries and have unrealistic expectations

What does sexual readiness in an intimate relationship refer to?

Being fully informed, emotionally prepared and able to make safe, responsible decisions before engaging in any sexual activity

True or False: Sexual readiness only requires your understanding if you are ready for sex.

False, it requires understanding of STIs, contraception, boundaries and the age of consent in your area

What is the legal age of consent in NSW?

16 years old

What are three factors of emotional readiness in a relationship?

• Emotional maturity

• Empathy

• Resilience

What does emotional maturity in a relationship refer to?

The ability to properly express emotions and empathise with others

Why is empathy important in a relationship?

It builds trust, mutual understanding, communication and makes conflicts an opportunity for growth

Why is having resilience important in a relationship?

As conflicts will occur, and without resilience the relationship will not last, as it leads to people holding onto grudges

True or False: If consent is given once, it stays with you forever.

False, consent can be given and taken away at any time

What are three ways to give consent?

• Through words and body language, not silence

• The person wanting to give consent voluntarily

• Past consent does not count as it must be actively given

What are five red flags in a relationship?

• Controlling actions

• Emotional abuse

• Gaslighting

• Lack of trust

• Disrespect

• Constant criticism

• Isolation

• Love bombing

• Alcohol abuse

• Dishonesty

• Inconsistent behaviour

What are five green flags in a relationship?

• Open and honest communication

• Consistent behaviour

• Supportiveness

• Keeping promises

• Giving freedom

• Letting you be independent

• Feeling safe

• Being honest without feeling judged

What are two ways to resolve disagreements respectfully?

• Listen patiently

• Stay calm

• Avoid blame

• Talk actively

How can you recognise peer pressure vs genuine desire?

Pressure: you feel anxious, guilty or afraid of losing someone if you don’t do something, and decisions are motivated by fear, obligation or wanting approval

Genuine desire: you want to act because it feels right for you, not because someone else expects it, and it comes from curiosity, interest or mutual consent

What is the significance of having support systems?

They can provide guidance, perspective and help you make safe choices. It is essential to have someone outside the relationship you can turn to for support or advice