Chapter 12

accommodating

A conflict style where you allow others to have their way rather than asserting your own point of view.

avoiding

A conflict style where people non-assertively ignore or stay away from conflict. Avoidance can be physical or conversational.

collaborating

Seeks win–win solutions to conflict. Communicators show a high degree of concern for both themselves and others.

competing

This win–lose approach to conflict involves high concern for self and low concern for others.

complementary conflict style

The partners use different but mutually reinforcing behaviors.

compromising

This conflict style gives both people at least some of what they want, although both sacrifice part of their goals.

conflict

An expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals.

conflict ritual

Usually unacknowledged but very real patterns of interlocking behavior.

crazymaking

When people have feelings of resentment, anger, or rage that they are unable or unwilling to express directly. Instead sending aggressive messages in subtle, indirect ways, thus maintaining the front of kindness.

direct aggression

When a communicator expresses a criticism or demand that threatens the face of the person at whom it is directed.

parallel conflict style

Both partners shift between complementary and symmetrical patterns from one issue to another.

passive aggression

When a communicator expresses hostility in an obscure or manipulative way.

relational conflict style

A pattern of managing disagreements.

symmetrical conflict style

Both partners use the same behaviors.

Conflict Styles

1. Competing: Win-Lose, My way

2. Collaborating: Win-Win, Our way

3. Avoiding: Lose-Lose, No way

4. Accommodating: Lose-Win, Your Way

5. Compromising: Partial lose-lose, half way