izard of woz lines (henry/guard)

DOROTHY: Oh, but Aunt Em, she hit him -

Don’t bother us now, honey. You see, this old incubator’s gone bad and we’re likely to lose a lot of our chicks.

DOROTHY: Uncle Henry, can’t you do something?

I’m doing something right now, honey, so just keep out of our hair.

HUNK: …don’t go by Miss Gulch’s place - then Toto won’t get in her garden and you won’t get in no trouble. See?

Quit just standing there and clear that junk outta the wagon. We got a parcel of lumber to haul from town before the weather turns.

GULCH: Henry, Gale. Is that you skulking by the barn?

I never skulked in my life Miss Gulch. And I ain’t about to start now.

GULCH: I want to see you and your wife right away about Dorothy.

Dorothy? Why, what has Dorothy done?

GULCH: What’s she done? I’m all but lame from the bite on my leg!

You mean she bit you?

GULCH: No, her dog!

Oh, she bit her dog, eh?

GULCH: I’m afraid I have no appetite, Mrs. Gale. Indeed I’m so shaken by the ferocious attack of your niece’s vicious dog, I may never eat again.

If you don’t eat, you’ll waste away. And I’d hate to see you dwindle.

GULCH: It’s gone beyond apologies, Mrs. Gale. I have laid an official complaint with the county sheriff.

Was he sober?

DOROTHY: Destroyed? Toto? Oh, you can’t! You mustn’t! Uncle Henry! Auntie Em! You won’t let her, will you?

Of course we won’t. Will we, Em?

GULCH: …Here’s his order allowing me to take him. Unless you want to go against the law.

Uh, yes -

EM: What’s it say, Henry?

Just what she says. You gotta hand him over, Dorothy.

ZEKE: You can’t fight the law, honey. Some things are bigger than all of us.

Let me have him, Dorothy.

EM: And now…well being a Christian woman, I can’t say it!

Well, I can. So if you don’t wanna hear it, you better pedal your carcass offa my land.

GULCH: I don’t take kindly to that kind of talk, Henry Gale. Just remember, I have friends in high places.

Then why don’t you climb on your broomstick and go visit ‘em. (pause) You got the horse hitched to that wagon yet?

HUNK: Nearly done, Mr. Gale.

Nearly ain’t good enough. You git it done right now. Skies getting darker every minute, goddamnit!

GULCH: Here doggie, doggie. Where is the dratted animal? Here doggie, doggie.

I told you to get off my land, Miss Gulch.

GULCH: I did, but the dog got away.

He can’t have enjoyed your company much.

GULCH: Where the little girl is, that’s where I’ll find the dog. Kindly bring her out here.

You never give up, do you? Dorothy! Dorothy!

GULCH: Sounds like a runaway you have on your hands. If she’s on the road, I’ll find her. And then I’ll take that dog back for good.

If you’re so anxious to have it, you should have looked after it better.

ZEKE: Dorothy!

Hurry up and get them horses loose! Find Hickory! Hickory! Doggone it! Hickory!

ZEKE: It’s a twister! It’s a twister! Thar she blows!

And headed straight for us.

HICKORY: I cut free the horses.

Good man.

HUNK: It’s getting awfully close, Mr. Gale.

Come on, everybody in the storm cellar!

EM: We can’t leave her out here, Henry.

There’s nothing else we can do, Em. Cept pray for all of us!

first MAYOR line

Friends, this is a day of independence for all the Munchkins and their disciples.

If any!

Yes, let the joyous news be spread! The wicked old witch at last is dead!

DOROTHY: Follow the Yellow Brick road. Follow the Yellow Brick road?

Follow the Yellow Brick road.

SCARECROW: Okay. Here goes.

Who rang that bell?

TINMAN & DOROTHY: We did.

Can’t you read?

SCARECROW: Read what?

The notice!

ALL: What notice?

It’s on the door - as plain as the nose on my face! It’s a- oh oh…just a minute.

DOROTHY: Bell out of order. Please knock. (knocks)

Well, that’s more like it. Now, state your business.

ALL: We want to see the Wizard.

Oh - oh - the Wizard? A - but nobody can see the great Oz! Nobody’s ever seen the great Oz! Even I’ve never seen him.

DOROTHY: Well then, how do you know there is one?

Because, because, because, because, because - he’s - um, because - well…if there wasn’t a Wizard, um…why would you be here?

DOROTHY: …The Good Witch of the North sent me.

Prove it!

SCARECROW: She’s wearing the ruby slippers she gave her!

Uh…So she is! Well bust my buttons! Why didn’t you say that in the first place? That’s a horse of a different color!

LION: …he’d be on his side.

Welcome to the Emerald City!

DOROTHY: Thank you.

Have you come far?

DOROTHY: Oh just the longest of ways.

Believe me, every step is worth it. Have you any idea just how wonderful this place is?

LION: Is he scary?

The Wizard? The Wizard? I- I- well, yes of course. But first I’ll take you to a little place where you can tidy up a bit - what?

ALL: To the Wizard!

Here - here! Everything is all right. Stop that now - just - Every - it’s all right! Everything is all right! The great and powerful Oz has got matters well in hand - I hope - and so you can all go home! And there's nothing to worry about! Get out of here now - go on! Go on home, and I - I… Didn’t you hear me? I said, “Go home!”

DOROTHY: That’s what I’m trying to do, sir. That’s why we have to see the Wizard right away. All four of us.

Orders are - nobody can see the Great Oz! Not nobody - not nohow!

LION: And I got a permanent just for the occasion.

Not nobody - not nohow!

SCARECROW: You just gotta make him see, Dorothy.

Dorothy? Did you say Dorothy? The Witch’s Dorothy?

SCARECROW: In person.

Well - that makes a difference. All of you wait here - I’ll announce you at once!

end of king of the forest

Go home! The Wizard says go away!

DOROTHY: Oh, but surely…

He is deaf to all appeals. The Wizard has spoken.

DOROTHY: I’ll never forgive myself! Never never never!

Please don’t cry anymore. I’ll get you to the Wizard somehow.

DOROTHY: Oh, thank you.

That’s alright. I knew an Aunt Em myself once! This way. Follow me.

LION: I - oh - I’m such a butterpaws.

This way, this way, step right up. The Great Oz awaits you.

guard entrance music

I wish you’d given up this crazy scheme. I never shoulda let you see the Wizard.

SCARECROW: Which way to her castle?

No one knows for sure.

TINMAN: You mean no one’s ever gone there?

Oh yes. Plenty folk have gone there. But no one’s ever come back.

DOROTHY: There’s no Yellow Brick Road to follow now.

There’s no road at all to the land of the Winkies.

LION: Winkies, what’s Winkies?

Once they were people very like us, the Wicked Witch made them her utensils. I hope the same thing doesn’t happen to you.

DOROTHY: Oh, so do I.

Keep going to the West where the sun sets.

DOROTHY: Is that the best way to find the Wicked Witch?

You won’t have to find her, Dorothy. When she knows you’re in the land of the Winkies, she’ll find you! Good luck.

WIZARD: Climb aboard, Dorothy. Climb aboard.

Climb aboard, missy, while the wind’s in your favor.

DOROTHY: Where’s Toto? I can’t go without him. Toto!

Don’t worry! I’ll get him for you!

OZ: Don’t let go the rope!

What?

DOROTHY: Oh, don’t go, Professor!

Here’s your dog.

start of final kansas scene

Dorothy, Dorothy…

MARVEL: Little girl! Little girl! I’d hate to think of the kid out all night in the storm.

We’d best get into town and notify the Sheriff.

PROFESSOR: Wait.

Toto.

MARVEL: There she is.

Dorothy, Dorothy…She’s over here! Tell Emmie and bid her a blanket.

DOROTHY: Uncle Henry. You were the guard.

I’m guarding you now, honey. I’ll see you come to no more harm.

ZEKE: Is she all right?

There was a minute there when I thought she’d left us.

DOROTHY: Of course not. But where’s Scarecrow?

Scarecrow?

HUNK: Here’s the blanket you called for. How is she?

She’ll be fine.

ZEKE: It was a telegraph pole.

We won’t be hearing from that old biddy till her leg gets out of plaster.