Attraction — Key Concepts from Miller Intimate Relationships, Chapter 3

Vocabulary flashcards covering key concepts from the attraction section of the lecture notes.

Fundamental Basis of Attraction

The idea that we tend to like people who reward us, either directly by treating us well or indirectly by providing rewards.

Direct rewards

Rewards that come from someone’s direct actions toward us, such as kindness or consideration.

Indirect rewards

Rewards we gain from what a person offers beyond direct treatment, such as resources or status that benefit us.

Instrumentality

The extent to which someone can help us achieve our present goals; attractive if they can help us get what we want now.

Proximity

The tendency to like those who are near us; small distances have a disproportionately large influence on attraction.

Mere exposure

Repeated contact with someone tends to increase our liking for them.

Familiarity

Repeated contact leading to increased liking; familiarity usually breeds liking rather than contempt.

Power of Proximity

Proximity increases the likelihood of meeting and interacting, and thus heightens attraction through familiarity and convenience.

Convenience (proximity)

Proximity yields more benefits at lower cost; near partners typically provide more benefits with less effort.

What is Beautiful is Good

The bias that physically attractive people are perceived as possessing more desirable traits.

Waist-to-Hip Ratio (WHR)

Body shape index; about 0.70 for women and 0.90 for men, linked to perceived attractiveness (modulated by other factors like salary).

Symmetry

Attractive faces are typically symmetrical, and symmetry is associated with health and fitness.

Composite faces

Averages of multiple faces (2-face, 8-face, 32-face) tend to be more attractive than individual faces.

Baby-faced features

Young-looking features (large eyes, small nose, full lips) often increase attractiveness when combined with maturity cues.

Masculine features

Strong jaws and broad foreheads are attractive, especially when women are fertile; preferences shift to warmer, youthful features at other times.

Fertility-cycle preferences

Preferences for masculine traits peak during fertility; warmer features are preferred outside the fertile window.

Height preference

Generally, people prefer the man to be taller than the woman in a relationship.

Universality of attractiveness

Across cultures, there is substantial agreement on attractive cues; some traits are broadly similar worldwide.

Evolutionary perspective on attractiveness

Beauty cues reflect health and reproductive fitness; babies show early preferences for attractive faces; symmetry links to health.

Environmental influences on attractiveness

Economic and cultural conditions shape standards of attractiveness (e.g., body type preferences can vary with resource availability).

Looks matter

At first contact, physical appearance plays a dominant role in attracting interest.

Matching in physical attractiveness

People tend to pair with others of similar physical attractiveness; as relationships deepen, this matching becomes more evident.

Reciprocal Liking

People tend to like others who show that they like them; desirability equals attractiveness × probability of acceptance.

Mate value

One’s overall attractiveness as a reproductive partner; higher mate value means others seek you and you can demand higher-quality partners.

Similarity

We tend to like those who share age, race, sex, education, religion, social class, attitudes, values, and traits.

Perceived similarity

Our sense of how much we have in common matters more than actual similarity.

Dissimilarity and fatal attractions

Over time, dissimilarities can become apparent and some initial attractions may turn into aversions (fatal attractions).

Stimulus-Value-Role (SVR) theory

A framework where information about a partner unfolds in stages: stimulus (initial attraction), value (shared values), and role (behavior in relationships), with dissimilarities possibly appearing later.

Complementarity

Some opposite traits can attract, but most successful relationships arise from similarity and shared goals; the mix varies by couple.

What men and women want (short-term vs long-term)

Across cultures, warmth and loyalty, attractiveness and vitality, and status/resources are valued; the emphasis shifts with whether the relationship is short-term or long-term.

Long-term mating preferences

Men seek moderate attractiveness with warmth, humor, honesty, and intelligence; women seek moderate status/resources with warmth, honesty, humor, and intelligence.

Dealbreakers

Traits that would prevent a relationship, such as ill-health and poor hygiene; women tend to have more dealbreakers than men.

Attraction isn’t mysterious

Looks are crucial in initial attraction, but warmth, honesty, and kindness matter to both sexes as relationships develop.