Beyond Therapy Act 2 Scene 2 Prudence

Scene opens

Why have we come back to this restaurant? We've been here twice before and never gotten any service.

You're upset about Bob, aren't you?

No. I understand. It's all difficult.

He's innately very flexible.

Then maybe the two of you should stay together.

Will you marry me?

Bruce this is inappropriate.

Look at the natives in Samoa, look at Margaret Mead, Did they think about what they were doing?

Important life decisions can't be made that way.

Why don't we think of our lives as some sort of uncontrollable disaster, like the towering inferno or Tora! Tora! Tora! and hen why don't we just act on instinct and adrenalin. I mean, put that way, doesn't that make you just want to go out and get married?

But shouldn't I marry someone specific?

I'm specific

Well, of course. But, what about the gas man? I mean, do I want the children saying "I saw Daddy kissing the gas man"?

We'd get electric heat.

Oh, Bruce!

Besides, I don't want lots and lots of people, I want you, and children, and occasionally Bob. Is that so bad?

Well it's not the traditional set up.

Aren't you afraid of being lonely?

Well, I guess I am.

And aren't all your girlfriends from college married now?

Well, many of them.

And you know you should really have children now, particularly if you may want more than one. I mean, soon you'll be at the end of your child bearing years. I don't mean to be mean bringing that up, but it is a reality.

Can we talk about something else?

Do you remember how old thirty used to seem?

Please don't go on, you're making me hysterical.

You already said that Shaun Cassidy was too young. I mean, we have so little time left to ourselves we've got to grab it before it's gone.

Oh stop talking about the time please. I mean, I know I'm thirty, it doesn't mean I'm dead.

I didn't say dead. I just said that our time on this earth is limited.

Stop talking, stop talking (covers ears)

Prudence, I think you and I can make each other happy... Do you see someone over there? Is that a waiter hiding?

Oh for God's sake.

What is it?

It's my therapist.

Here?

I thought we were being followed. Dr. Framingham, we see you.

I want you to leave here with me this instant.

Why are you following me?

I'm going to give you a prescription for a sedative, and then I'm going to drive you home.

I can't believe that you've been following me.

I care about my [atients. She's really very sick. The work we have to do together will take years.

Dr. Framingham, I/'ve been meaning to call you since our last session. I'm discontinuing my therapy with you.

The would be very self destructive. You'd be in Bellevue in a week.

I really don't want to see you ever again. Please go away now.

Do you want me to hit him?

No, I just want him to go away.

What did she tell you about me?

Bruce, don't talk to him, please. Stuart, leave the restaurant. I'm tired of this.

Not until we set up our next appointment.

But, Stuart, I told you I'm discontinuing our therapy.

You haven't explained why to me.

Then I will. BECAUSE YOU ARE A PREMATURE EJACULATOR AND A LOUSY THERAPIST. NOW BEAT IT!

She keeps cats! Some guy she almost married last year wanted to marry her but he was allergic to cats and so she chose the cats!

That's not why we broke up at all!

And all because you were too cowardly and self-destructive and stupid to keep yourself from being an old maid by sticking with your therapy!

You are talking utter gibberish. Michael was only slightly allergiv to cats and we didn't get married because we decided we weren't really in love. And I'm not going to end up an old maid, I'm going to get married. In fact, I may even marry Bruce here. And if I do, Bruce and I will send you a picture of our children every Christmas to the mental institution where you'll be locked up.

You're a terrible terrible person.

And you're a hideous doctor! I hate you! (throw water on him)

Oh my God. Oh my God.

Give me that. Now look here, you, I am sick of the service in this restaurant. I am very hungry. Now I want you to bring me a steak, medium rare, no potatoe, two vegetables, and small side salad with oil and vinegar and a glass of red wine? Anyone else want to order?

I'd like to see a menu.

And bring these other people menus. And make it snappy.

I don't understand. Did he miss all of us?

Shut up and sit down. I'm going to eat some dinner, and I want everyone to shut up.

Oh, I think she's marvelous.

Shut up.