Chapter 2: Marriage and the family

Why is marriage important in society?

• It encourages stability

• It provides a secure environment for bringing up children

• It provides legal protection for both partners and their children

• It has value for both religious and non-religious people.

What do Christians believe about marriage?

• Sanctity of marriage: the idea that marriage has special significance as a holy gift from God, in which partners make a commitment to each other to live together in an exclusive loving relationship until the death of one of them

• God intended from creation that men and women should marry

• Marriage becomes the most important adult relationship that the partners have

• Marriage creates a unity (‘one flesh’) which is physical and emotional.

• The couple are joined together by God and their relationship should be respected by others.

SoA for Christian marriage & not respecting marriages

Jesus’ teaching: “the two will become flesh” “what God has joined together let no one separate” (Mark 10: 6-9)

What is cohabitation?

couples choosing to live together without being married

Arguments for cohabitation:

• It enables couples to get to know each other properly before making the commitment of marriage

• If the relationship doesn’t work, they can separate without the legal consequences of divorce

• children can be brought up as successfully by a cohabiting couple as by a married couple

• marriage lacks importance: a couple can make a loving personal commitment to each other without going through a legal ceremony.

Arguments against cohabitation: (many Christians)

• it can encourage a casual attitude towards relationships

• it is too easy to break up and so couples are not encouraged to talk things through when times get tough

• children are best brought up in a stable home with two married parents

• the Bible supports lifelong marriage

What do non-religious people believe about marriage?

• some non-religious people do not think marriage is an important or necessary part of being in a long-term relationship.

• however, marriage is important to many non-religious people as a public sign of commitment to a loving relationship

• many non-religious people are accepting of same-sex marriage.

how does christianity view …al relationships?

• mainstream view in Christianity: sex should be between a man and a woman in the context of marriage and that marriage should be for life.

• married couples should be faithful to each other and therefore promiscuity and adultery are considered by Christians to be wrong

promiscuity

having …al relations with multiple partners on a casual basis

adultery

when a married person has … with someone other than their spouse

christian SOAs for adultery

‘You shall not commit adultery’. (Exodus 20:14)

… outside marriage: most christians believe

• it is the highest expression of love for a couple, which involves giving oneself completely to the other person in a life-long commitment: therefore, it is right to save the gift of a …al relationship for their future marriage partner - abistinence

however.. some christians believe about … outside marriage

• can be acceptable if the couple love each other and they are in a long-term relationship leading to marriage.

why do most Christians think adultery is wrong?

• breaks the bond of trust between married partners

• undermines the stability of family life

humanist beliefs about …al relationships

• value the freedom to have a …al relationship when they choose to, as long as it does not cause physical or emotional harm to anyone else

• if anyone would be hurt by unfaithfulness then a humanist would consider it wrong, but if everyone is happy, then there are no rules to restrict them.

Traditional Anglican and Catholic teaching about same-sex ..al relationships - SOAs & teachings

“Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable” (Leviticus 18:22)

• homosexual activity falls short of the ideal expression of …al love, which should be set within the framework of a faithful marriage between a man and a woman.

other christian beliefs about homsoexual …al relationships

• … within a commited and loving same… relationships are acceptable

• but marriage should still be reserved for a man and woman.

humanist views - same-sex …al relationships

• same-sex relationships are fine as long as the relationship does not cause any harm to those involved.

• personal choice and freedom are important, including the freedom to be in a same-sex relationship.

atheist views - same-sex …al relationships

• many atheists accept same-sex relationships

• some may oppose them for social or cultural reasons

different types of families

• nuclear family: 2 parents & their children

• same-sex family: 2 same-sex parents & their children

• extended family: parents, children & other relations living together

• single-parent family: 1 parent living alone with their children

• blended family: parents living together with children from previous relationships

diffrent chirstian teachings on different types of familes

• traditional teachings: disapprove of same-sex relationships Y believe that children should grow up in nuclear families, with a male and female role model

• some Christian churches have become more understanding of different family types and aim to welcome everyone into church life.

The purpose of the family, according to Christian teachings

• procreation - children are a gift from God and parents should look after them properly, providing security, medical care, opportunities to develop their talents etc.

• education: the Christian family is where children learn how to live, form relationships, and worship God. Children are taught to respect and obey their parents. “…bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4)

• security: the family provides a safe, stable environment in which to bring up children.

How do parishes support families?

• family services on Sundays & special events in the church year

• operating food banks

• running courses on parenting, money, depression and so on.

The importance of supporting the family

Children are an important part of the Christian community. This is shown in the Bible when Jesus’ disciples try to send away the children who have been brought to Jesus to receive his prayers. Jesus disagrees with his disciples, saying: “Let the little children come to me […] for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these£ (Matthew 19:14)

• the Church hopes that by helping children develop an interest in Christianity, they are helping to ensure there will be a new generation of believers.

• it is a way to provide support for parents,helping them to raise their children in a stable environment and to educate their children in the Christian faith.

• it demonstrates inclusion and helps to foster a sense of community.

church events particularly for children

• christingle events

• christmas eve crib service

rites of passage

• baptism or christening: when a child is made a member of the Church

• confirmation: when a person confirms they want to be a member of the Church

groups for children & parents

children:

• Sunday school

• youth groups for teenagers

• tuition classes for schoolwork

parents:

• parenting classes

• parent and baby groups

• family counselling

local parish outreach activities

• visiting people who are sick, lonely or isolated at home

• visiting people in hospital

• visiting people who are in prison or other difficult circumstances

‘Christian churches do not do enough to engage young people with Christianity’ FOR

• some churches will only have family services at set times in the year, rather than on a regular basis

• regular church services often use language that children find hard to understand

• church services often have a formal atmosphere that is not welcoming to young children

• if young people are not engage in Christianity then the faith will die out, so churches should make this a greater priority

The Catholic Church & more Protestant churches view on contraception

• the use of artificial contraception is wrong, as it goes against God’s command to ‘be fruitful and increases in number’ (Genesis 1:28)

• … should always be open to the possibility of conception.

• natural methods e.g. rhythm method, are acceptable to the Catholic Church and most Protestants

Anglican Church and other Christian views on contraception

• the Anglican Church approved the use of artificial contraception

• many Christians approve the use of contraception to aid responsible family planning, but not to encourage promiscuous behaviour.

• some Christians only accept contraception that prevents conception from taking place and oppose methods that work after contraception.

non-religious views on contraception

• most non-religious people, including humanists and atheists, accept the use of contraception.

• many argue that deciding whether or not to use contraception is a personal choice, provided it does not cause any harm to those involved: if contraception ‘results in every child being a wanted child, and in better, healthier lives for women, it must be a good thing’ (British Humanist Association)

• many argue that contraception leads to fewer unwanted pregnancies, and allows women to have greater control over their lives.

situation ethics

an ethical theory that states that moral decisions should be based on what is the most loving thing to do in any particular sitiuation.

• someone who follows situation ethics might be in favour of contraception in 1 situation and against it in another

• In contrast, christians tend to make decisions based on Church teachings. some may apply one rule to all sitatuons, while others may take a more flexible approach

what does the Bible say about divorce?

• in Mark’s Gospel, Jesus appears to forbid divorce. (Mark 10:11)

• in Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus appears to allow divorce in cases of unfaithfulness: ‘anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery’

Catholic view on divorce

The Catholic Church does not beileve divorce is possible because the marriage vows are a convenant made by both partners to each other and to God.

Therefore, they claim a couple can never be divorced according to God’s law. However, the Catholic Church will declare a marriage to be null in certani particular circumstances.

Protestant view on divorce

Most protestants permit divorce on the grounds that

• human beings make mistakes and relationships do break down

• God forgives mistakes

• after asking God’s forgiveness, therefore, believers may divorce and marry again

• Divorced people can remarry in a Protestant church if the local clergy agree to it

non-religious views on divorce

• some non-religious people are against divorce for social or cultural reasons. they argue that divorce has made it too easy for couples to end a relationship and it negatively affects any children involved

• others, including humanists, believe that divorce is the compassionate response when relationships have broken down, and that remarriage can create happiness

• situation ethicists will approve of divorce in certain situations, but not in others

Christian beliefs on gender equality

• most Christians believe that men and women are equal: in Genesis 1, man and woman are both created in the image of God, and both are given authority to rule over the rest of creation

• many Christians believe that although men and women have equal worth, they have different roles. Ephesians 5: 22-33 suggests that men and women have different roles in a marriage. a wife should ‘submit’ to her husband and a husband should ‘love’ his wife.

• some Christians believe that men are superior to women: in Genesis 2, man is created first. the woman is created as a ‘helper’ for him. in Genesis 3, the woman disobeys God first by eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. She then appears to tempt the man to also disobey God.

more Christians views on gender equality

• most Christian churches emphasise the importance of gender equality

• some Churches also teach that men adn women are suited to different (but equally important) roles. e.g. the Catholic Church teaches that within the family, the mother’s role is to look after the home and children, while the father’s role is to go out to work in order to provide for his family.

• Some Christians think the husband should be the head of the family and his authority should be respectd by the wife. More liberal Christians disagree with the idea of gendered roles, and believe it is not necessary to have a head of the family

(C) explain 2 different Christian beliefs about same-sex …al relationships.

• Traditional anglican and catholic teachings state that same-sex …al relationships are wrong. the Bible teaches that … should be between a man and woman and … between two people of the same sex is immoral. 1 Corinthians teaches Christians to ‘honour God with your bodies’, so it follows that …al immorality is a sin against God.

• More liberal Christians believe that … is acceptable, as the physical part of a loving and commited same-sex relationship

Teachings in the BIble that oppose gender prejudice and discrimination

• In Galatians, the apostle Paul teaches Christians that men and women are equal, saying, ‘you are all one in Christ Jesus’

• Jesus treats men and women with equal respect. His female followers are important to him, and there are examples where he shows kindness to women who have been treated badly by others. For example, he heals a sick woman who had been cast out by her community.

• the promise that wives would ‘obey’ their husbands has been dropped from Methodist wedding vows

arguments FOR ordination of women

• it is discriminatory not to allow women to be ordained

• women have different skills to offer their congregations

• women may be able to deal more sensitively with pastoral issues

• women priests can relate better to women in their community

• in Genesis 1, man and woman are both created in the image of God, and both are given authority to rule over the rest of creation, allowing women to represent Christ as priests.

arguments AGAINST ordination of women

• in the Bible, the Apostle Paul says ‘I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man’

• Jesus chose only men to be the 12 disciples, and the Church is bound to follow this choice as divinely willed, not merely cultural.

• Women have not been given authority by God to be leader in the Church - can’t provide spiritual leadership & lead worship etc.

• Men and women are equal but have different, complementary roles; the priest is a role inherently suited to men, not women. 

• The Catholic Church's stance is that it cannot, by divine constitution, ordain women, not that it will not.

Divorce FOR

• humans make mistakes, God forgives mistakes, therefore, believers may ask for forgiveness, then divorce and marry again

• sexual immorality -

• best thing for everyone - raise children the right way, more stability

• lots of humanists believe that divorce is the compassionate response when relationships have broken down, and that remarriage can create happiness

• in Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus appears to allow divorce in cases of unfaithfulness: ‘anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery’

Divorce AGAINST

• in Mark’s Gospel, Jesus appears to forbid divorce. (Mark 10:11)

• The Catholic Church does not believe divorce is possible because the marriage vows are a covenant made by both partners to each other and to God. - lifelong commitment

  Therefore, they claim a couple can never be divorced according to God’s law. However, the Catholic Church will declare a marriage to be null in certain particular circumstances.

• divorce can lead to instability for the entire family: children may feel depressed or blame themselves, they might hold resentment towards the parents for breaking up the family, loyalty conflicts - children feel caught between parents, struggling whom to side with. could lead to behaviour issues - acting out, defiance, risk-taking etc.