CFS 3070 FINAL

-stay together and remain satisfied

-stay together and become dissatisfied

-end their relationship

over time, partners may...

relationship maintenance

behaviors and thoughts that promote staying together and remaining satisfied (intentional or not), sometimes the small things mean more than big things

intimacy process model

empathy

the capacity to understand and share another person's thoughts and feelings, may have positive or negative implications for the relationship (positive implications-> partner has positive thoughts and feelings; negative implications -> partner has negative thoughts and feelings)

shared activities

social support

capitalization

forgiveness

what are the 4 ways to maintain intimacy?

shared activities

the self-expansion model focuses on the behaviors of the two people in the relationship, as people learn about each other, they gain knowledge and resources, expanding their sense of self

self-expansion

-adds to relationship satisfaction

-once people know each other well, it is difficult to maintain this

-engaging in new and novel activities with one's partner can foster this

social support

defined as "responsiveness to another's needs", frequently assumed to be related positively to relationship satisfaction and stability

invisible, visible

_________ social support is more beneficial than _______ social support

invisible social support

support that partners are not aware is given, ex. doing homework in advance to spend time with partner, cleaning if partner is stressed at work, provides partners with the benefit of help without causing them to question their abilities

visible social support

support that partners are aware of

capitalization

the intimacy process model relies on partners sharing negative information, ________________ relies on partners sharing positive information (partner A shares something positive with partner B, partner B responds positively and with understanding to partner A, partner A feels a greater sense of intimacy with partner B)

events in one partner's life and how the other partner responds

the intimacy process model, capitalization and social support all focus on...

forgiveness

addresses how oen partner responds to the negative behavior of the other partner

motivation

on an intrapersonal level: the wronged partner wants to be kind to the other person rather than feel anger and a thirst for vengeance

behavior

on an interpersonal level: the wronger partner lets the other know he or she no longer feels anger or a thirst for vengeance

full forgiveness

both ingredients of motivation and behavior need to be present for...

silent forgiveness

if there is a change in intrapersonal motivation but no change in interpersonal behavior, it is...

hollow forgiveness

if there is a change in interpersonal behavior but no change in intrapersonal motivation, it is...

-the transgression was minor

-the victim has empathy, agreeableness and a low level of neuroticism

-the transgressor apologizes

-the relationship contains a high level of commitment and satisfaction

forgiveness is most likely if...

impact

the victim absorbs what happened and how the transgressor acted

meaning

the victim tries to find an explanation for the transgression

moving on

the victim moves past the transgression

within committed relationships

most sexual activity occurs...

sexual

partners value the _______ component of their relationship above other proven aspects of successful relationships

sexual satisfaction

each partner's evaluation of the sexual aspect of their relationship

sexual and relationship

significant overlap between ________ satisfaction and overall ________ satisfaction

-belief systems

-attachment style

-gender

strength of the association between sexual and relationship satisfaction varies according to:

a good sex life and relationship satisfaction

in longitudinal studies of newly established relationships , there is a bidirectional relationship between a...

relationship satisfaction

satisfying sex increases...

overall sexual satisfaction

higher relationship satisfaction increases...

sex life

in relationships that have lasted over 10 years, the quality of the couple's ___________ predicts their overall relationship satisfaction

involuntary celibacy

the situation in which a person goes without sex for an extended period of time despite experiencing sexual desire

less satisfied in their relationships

individuals who are involuntarily celibate are...

reasons other than sex

why might people stay in sexless relationships?

the beginning because it's aroused by novelty and risk

when is sexual desire most active in a relationship?

commitment

reinforced by feelings of security and familiarity

familiarity

low desire in women has been found to be related to...

less

couples have sex (more/less) frequently as they get older

peaks in the first year of the sexual relationship, then declines significantly in the second year

what is the course of sexual desire/frequency?

after the second year

when does sexual frequency stabilize?

passion

while sexual frequency may decline, ______ is reported to stay constant in many relationships

74%

____% of 65-80 year olds report being satisfied with their sex life

longer time spent having sex and longer average time per sexual interaction

what 2 things can predict greater relationship satisfaction?

an intimate connection with one's partner

the amount of time spent having sex must be sufficient to maintain...

are not

there (are/are not) additional benefits to having sex more than once per week

does not

more sex (does/does not) automatically mean greater sexual satisfaction

relationship and sexual satisfaction

sex with a motive other than connecting with one's partner can lead to lower levels of...

ex. couples attempting to conceive may begin to view sex as a chore, which will lower their satisfaction

reach orgasm

women are more likely to be satisfied with their sex life if they consistently...

their partner consistently reaches orgasm

men are more likely to be satisfied if...

mutual masturbation or oral sex

couples who engage in _______ _____________ or _____ ____ are more likely to consistently reach orgasm

sexual behaviors

particular behaviors are not associated with greater sexual satisfaction. however, greater variety in _______ ________ is positively associated with sexual satisfaction

both

before: dimming the lights, playing music, and engaging in "sexy talk"

after: cuddling

behaviors (before/after/both) sex are important to sexual as well

-being in a relationship versus casual sexual encounters

-level of commitment in the relationship

-mutual respect

-good communication

overall sexual satisfaction is related to factors associated with the relationship itself, such as:

higher sexual satisfaction and higher frequency of sex

couples with more positive nonsexual interactions are more likely to have...

-it makes them feel special and unique

-they are perceived to be more attractive to people outside the relationship

partners feel stronger sexual desire when their partner has been responsive to their feelings because:

-sex is enjoyable

-sex promotes the survival of the species

the two most common responses as to why people have sex are that:

stress reduction, pleasure, physical desirability, experience seeking

what are some physical reasons for having sex?

resources, social status, revenge, utilitarian

what are some goal attainment reasons for having sex?

love and commitment, expression

what are some emotional reasons for having sex?

self-esteem boost, duty or pressure, mate guarding

what are some insecurity reasons for having sex?

the secretion of hormones associated with pairbonding

behaviors associated with sex, such as close physical proximity, eye contact, and vulnerable self-disclosure, prompt...

sexual afterglow

a period of elevated closeness and well-being following a sexual interaction, daily diary research found that it can last up to three days after a sexual interaction

approach motives

involve the desire to pursue rewards

avoidance motives

involve the desire to avoid costs

approach

which is more strongly associated with satisfying sexual interactions; approach or avoidance motives?

lower levels of relationship satisfaction, but only for couples who have sex less frequently

relationships with greater negative affectivity have...

an insecure attachment style on relationship satisfaction

more frequent sexual interactions decreases the impact of...

-frequent sex can help fight infections

-older adults who have more sex have:

-fewer heart problems

-better memory

-better performance on cognitive tasks

-kissing lowers cholesterol

-physical intimacy reduces physical symptoms

-sex affects hormones levels

-sex burns calories

sexual interactions have a positive influence on health markers as well such as:

declining frequency of sex among american married couples

50%

americans currently spend __% more time working than their european counterparts

doubled

the time americans couples spend parenting _______ between 1993 and 2008

1.6

despite advances in gender equality, women continue to spend ___ times the amount of time in household labor as men

higher frequency and satisfaction in their sexual relationships

couples who divide the household labor more equitably report...

pornography

creates unrealistic standards and decreases sexual satisfaction with one's partner through contrast effects

-sexual satisfaction

-relationship satisfaction

-relationship commitment

frequent use of pornography has been associated with decreases in:

men's usage=negative on relationship and sexual satisfaction

women's usage= positive on sexual satisfaction

watching together=positive impact

men and women are impacted differently by pornography. how?

sexual coercion

when couples can't negotiate frequency through communication, some individuals resort to this, which is using verbal strategies, physical means, or other manipulative tactics to pressure a partner into having unwanted sex

-persistence- continuing to be asked for sex despite repeated refusals

-giving in as the only way to appease the partner, end the conflict, or escape

-lower relationship satisfaction, feelings of guilt and self-blame, and deterioration of the relationship over time

three themes emerged from research on victims' perspectives on sexual coercion:

reassurance that a partner is wanted, attractive and desirable and tone of voice is important

what is the best way to him or her know you are not in the mood for sex at the moment?

competing goals

conflict= ?

different

partners have many ____________ goals (e.g. which movie they want to see, where they want to spend), at some point, each partner in a relationship will have ____________ goals (e.g. wanting to see different movies, wanting to spend the holidays in different places)

what do partners disagree about?

disagreement

problems arise for couples who mismanage typical couple...

tools and skills

partners need to be given ________ and ________ that help them successfully state their disagreements

coding system

interactions were studied through observation of the couples' disagreements, using a ________ _________ of their behavior

model of marital interaction

according to gottman's structural _________ __ ___________ ______________, unhappy partners engage in less positive behavior and more negative behavior, this negative behavior is accompanied by negative affect

- have more predictable patterns of behaviors

- engage in longer periods of negative reciprocity

unhappy couples...

destructive and constructive strategies for problem solving

cognitive editing

happy couples tend to view each other's behavior in a more positive light than unhappy couples do

reactivity hypothesis

unhappy couples tend to be vigilant for negative behaviors and tend to respond in kind

talk table

the _______ ________ technique helps to identify sources of a miscommunication between couples

demand/withdraw pattern

one partner wants a change and pushes the other for discussion on the topic; the other partner does not respond, especially likely concerning topics where women are the ones who want change, among people who want more change than their partners (i.e. unhappy partners), can create a polarized relationship in which each partner takes an opposing viewpoint on a disagreement

infidelity

violation of an agreement between two people that they will share their intimate, emotional, and sexual lives exclusively with each other

emotional and sexual

thought not often explicitly discussed, ___________ and _________ exclusivity is expected by the vast majority (95%) of people

jealousy and weakens the trust in the relationship

suspicions about a partner's fidelity can lead to...

intercourse and oral sex

most people agree on behaviors that constitutes sexual infidelity, such as...

emotional infidelity

occurs when more energy is put into a relationship with someone other than the primary partner

what behaviors constitute infidelity?

-types of relationships

-ages of partners

-stages of a relationship

-length of the relationship

studies will also vary in how well they capture these diverse factors

infidelity varies according to many factors: