Personal Development

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121 Terms

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**Relationship**
* As per Merriam Webster,  this is *the way in which two or more people, groups, countries, etc., talk to, behave toward, and deal with each other.*
* This is essential to happiness
* The absence of relationships can make an individual feel worthless, powerless, and alienated.
* Our very humanity is defined by relationships.
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**Personal Relationship**
* A type of relationship which is closely associated with a person and which can only have meaning to this person
* Close connection between people formed by emotional bond and interaction
* These can grow and be strengthened by mutual experiences
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Privacy and Intimacy
Two characteristics of **Personal Relationship**
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* Family
* Friend
* Significant Other
3 kinds of personal relationship
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**Secure Attachment**
* Happens when the primary caregiver is most of the time present and available.
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**Secure Attachment**
* Children who are exposed to this will grow up to have more secure and stable relationships.
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**Avoidant Attachment**
Happens when the primary caregiver is cold, detached, and unresponsive to a child's needs.
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**Avoidant Attachment**
* \[Attachment\] They will struggle in future relationships, and might suffer from isolation.
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**Anxious-Ambivalent Attachment**

\n
* Happens when the primary caregiver is not consistent in terms of presence and meeting the child's emotional needs.
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**Anxious-Ambivalent Attachment**
* People who experienced this may suffer separation anxieties.
* May develop hesitancy and commitment problems
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British Broadcasting Company (BBC)
Who said that attraction is the first stage in a continuum of stages that lead to intimacy and commitment. 
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Helen Fisher
who said that  attraction is primarily based on physiology or certain hormones that persons who get attracted to others pick up with their noses.
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Lust

Attraction

Attachment
Three stages in falling in love
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**Lust**
* Driven by the sex hormones like testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone.
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**Attraction**
* Lovestruck phase
* Develops infatuation
* Hormones are involved: dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin.
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**Attachment**
* Long-lasting commitments
* Oxytocin is produced
* Released during childbirth to help in breastfeeding and during orgasm; it promotes intimacy.
* Vasopressin is produced
* Promotes long-term relationships
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Pheromones
* odorless chemicals found in urine and sweat which can be detected by our nose—it is involved in the assessment of a future mate as it is an indication of a person’s immune system.
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Transference Effect

Pronpiquity Effect

Similarity

Reciprocity

Physical Attractiveness

Personality Characteristics and Trait
Rozenberg Quarterly’s theories related to attraction and liking
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**Transference Effect**
* These are times we meet people who we immediately like or dislikes. 
* These is due to the reason that they remind us of some people in the past that has affected our sense of self and behavior
* Our present relationships can be affected by our past ones
* Bad experiences from the past can be associated with new persons in our life
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**Propinquity Effect**
* We often develop a sense of familiarity with the people who we are close with—lives with us, works with us, and go to school with us
* People we are familiar with makes us feel safe and secure
* We find familiar people more likable for we can predict their behavior
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**Similarity**
* We often like people who have similarities with us—social class, religion, beliefs, age, and education
* Similarity is a validation of our innermost values and belief system
* Aron, Kalick, and Hamilton (1988)
* Similarity is a strong factor in friendship and in the selection of a mate because it promotes intimacy, trust, empathy, and long-lasting relationships.
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**Reciprocity**
* We like people who like us back
* The more we are liked by someone we equally like, the more we behave in ways that promote mutual feelings of liking
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**Physical Attractiveness**
* A major factor in liking someone, and usually, first impression counts a lot
* Both male and female are equal in their preference for _______
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**Personality Characteristics and Traits**
* People get attracted to two characteristics that lead to liking others—emphatic persons and socially competent person
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Emphatic persons
* Exude warmth and sympathy
* Optimistic
* Maintain positive views
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Socially competent person
* Good communicators
* Enjoy good conversations
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* A strong feeling of affection and concern toward another person, as that arising from kinship or close friendship
* A strong feeling of affection and concern for another person accompanied by sexual attraction
* A feeling of devotion or adoration toward God or a god
* A feeling of kindness or concern by God or a god toward humans
* Sexual desire or activity; pleasures of love; night of love
The American Heritage Dictionary defines love as:
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Intimacy

Commitment

Passion
Proponent of Triangular Theory of Love
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**Intimacy**
* That lovely moment when someone understands and validates us
* Being intimate with another person is about being open and vulnerable to that person whom we deeply trust, we feel connected with, and values us with unconditional positive regards
* Communication is a key component in developing intimacy
* Here, self-disclosure is practiced which leads to profound and meaningful conversation that nurture and strengthen intimacy
* Self-disclosure requires honesty for it to work
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**Commitment**
* An act of deciding to consistently fulfill and live by agreements made with another person
* Values of integrity and respect serve as a guide to one’s behavior or thinking
* Continuous process of showing love and care
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**Passion**
* Intense state of being that drives and consumes a person to pursue an interest, vision, or a person
* In terms of romantic love, passion means sexual attraction
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Liking

Infatuation

Empty Love

Romantic Love

Fatuous Love

Companionate Love

Consummate Love

Non-Love
Sternberg’s eight forms of love
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__Liking__
Intimacy Alone
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__Infatuation__
Passion Alone
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__Empty Love__
Commitment Alone
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Romantic Love
Intimacy + Passion
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__Fatuous Love__
Passion + Commitment
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__Companionate Love__
Commitment + Intimacy
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__Consummate Love__
Intimacy + Commitment + Passion
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__Non-love__
Absence of intimacy, commitment, passion
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* **Accumulation of all rewards of the relationship**
* **Temptation of alternative partners**
* **Investments made by the couple in the relationship**
**Variables Related to Commitment**
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**Accumulation of all rewards of the relationship**
* Most important determinant of satisfaction in a relationship
* Rewards of the relationship are:
* Support from partner
* Sexual satisfaction
* Emotional, Financial, and Physical security
* Adventure and novelty
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**Temptation of alternative partners**
* Temptation of alternative partner can rock the relationship and destabilize the commitment of a couple
* Fewer options of alternative = Lower possibility of breakup
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**Investments made by the couple in the relationship**
* These are also important in maintaining commitment
* These include:
* Time spent together
* Common beliefs and experiences
* Mutual friend experiences
* Bearing children
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* Criticism
* Denial of existence of conflict
* Contempt
3 **Behaviors that Predict Separation**
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**Criticism**
* Happens when there is the absence of unconditional positive regard for each other
* Constantly finding fault to each other
* Positive and constructive criticism is preferred and done in a light and playful manner
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**Denial of existence of conflict**
* When one part eludes the presence of a problem and refuses to discuss it
* Belittling the problem that results in frustration of each party
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**Contempt**
* Present when someone looks down on the part as inferior—expresses superiority over the other
* Ultimate expression of disillusionment and highly predictive of divorce
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* Live longer
* Deal with stress
* Be healthier
* Feel richer
* Decreased immune function
* Higher blood pressure
**Why are Personal Relationships Important? [6]**
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Social alienation
An inevitable result of contemporary society’s preoccupation with materialism and frantic “busy-ness”
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**Social Relationships**
* **Less intimate** 
* Lesser self-disclosure
* May still be exclusive
* E.g. Frats and Religious Orgs
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**Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relations (2006) by Daniel Goleman**
* Explains how a part of the brain located above the eyes—__*Orbitofrontal Cortex (OFC)*__—is connected directly to the three major regions of the brain
* **C**ortex
* **A**mygdala
* Brain Stem
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**Orbitofrontal Cortex (OFC)**
* Provides an immediate connection between thoughts, emotions, and behavior
* Immediately calculates our feelings and thoughts
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**Social Influence**
* happens as a result of interacting with other people with similar experiences; henced, deemed subject matter experts.
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**Herbert Kelman**
Proposed the three types of social influence
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* Compliance
* Identification
* Internalization
According Herbert Kelman, the three types of social influence are:
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**Compliance**
* When a person seems to agree, and follows what is requested or is required for them to believe in
* Does not necessarily have to really believe or agree
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**Identification**
When a person is influenced by someone they like like movie star, superhero, singer, or celebrity
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**Internalization**
* When a person is able to own a certain belief or act
* Willing to make it publicly and privately
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**Conformity**
* Change in behavior, belief, or thinking to be like others
* Most common and pervasive
* Brought by peer pressure
* Strong among middle and late adolescents
* These people tend to seek approval from others and crave belongingness in a group
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**Conversion**
* An individual whole-heartedly changes his or her original thinking to align it with others
* E.g. Religious conversions
* Hopping from a complete set of culture and beliefs to a new one
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**Minority Influence**
* A bigger number of people are influenced by a much smaller group
* When the minority’s way of look at and doing things are accepted
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**Reactance**
* **Willing rejection of a social influence being exerted on an individual or group**
* Anti-conformity or nonconformity
* Rejection of influence
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**Obedience**
* A person follows what someone tells him or her to do
* Not necessarily reflect one’s beliefs or values
* Stems from either respect or fear of authority figure
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**Persuasion**

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Influencing others by appealing to reason or emotion
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Chester Barnard (1938)
Who said that “Leadership is the ability of a person in a position of authority to influence others to behave in such a manner that goals are achieved”
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French and Raven (1960)
Who said that

* Power is also annexed to leadership
* A leader may obtain power through various means and sources such as position, expertise, respect, and reward
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* Trait Theory
* Behavioral Theory
* Participative Theory
* Situational Theory
* Transactional Theory
* Transformational Theory
Theories of Leadership
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**Trait Theory**
* Leadership based on certain personality traits
* E.g. divisiveness, persistence, self-confidence, and assertiveness
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**Behavioral Theory**
* Leadership is a learned behavior
* Leaders are defined according to certain types of behavior they do
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**Participative Theory**
Leader involves other people to make common decisions
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**Situational Theory**
* **Leadership behavior is based on the factors present in a situation**
* Takes into consideration how a follower behaves
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**Transactional Theory**
* Leadership involves transaction or negotiation of resources or position
* Employs reward and punishment
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**Transformational Theory**
* Leader uses to rally support from followers
* A leader motivates others to support vision and make it happen
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Authentic Leadership
______ is primarily determined by how followers view the leader; thus, attributing a leader’s authenticity through the eyes of their followers
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* **Leadership is situational**
* **Leadership is Non-hierarchical**
* **Leadership is Relational**
The three basic axioms of leadership are
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**Leadership is situational**
* A leader’s behavior and what is required of him will always be influenced by the situation.
* Leader is able to assess a situation quickly, adjust to it, and give solutions.
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**Leadership is Non-hierarchical**
* Leadership is not based on level and organization chart alone
* Leadership is dependent on other factors such as characteristics, skills, and even connections
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**Leadership is Relational**
Leader and members establish a relationship where their interest are mutually met
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**Leader-Member Exchange Theory**
* states that a leader’s effectiveness is measured by the quality of his relationship with his followers
* There should be an exchange of resources between leader and follower that is meaningful and fair
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**Heroic Leadership by Chis Lowney**
* Leadership that the members of the Society of Jesus to live by
* EvFeryone is a leader and everyone gets a chance to lead
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* Self-Awareness
* Ingenuity
* Love
* Heorism
Four principles that Heoric Leadership follows
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**Self-Awareness**
Knowing and understanding one’s strengths and weaknesses
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**Ingenuity**
* Flexible in this constantly changing world
* Do not stuck in one’s comfort zone
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**Love**
* A healthy self-concept generates a positive attitude when deadline with other people
* People who receives respect gives respect
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**Heroism**
* Motivating and inspiring other people to reach for higher goals
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* Athenticity
* Significance
* Excitement
* Community
Four elements of heroism followers want for a leader
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**Family according to** *Merriam Webster Online Dictionary*
A group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head
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*Belen T.G. Medina, PhD, Filipino Sociologist*
Two or more persons who share resources share responsibility for decisions share values and goals and have a commitment to each other over time
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* Nuclear Family
* Single Parent Family
* Extended Family
* Childless Family
**Four Essential Types of Family** According to **Toby Shelton**
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Extended
* REPUBLIC ACT NO 9994) 
* All close relatives live together and share every household responsibility and economic expenses
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**Procreation**
An individual sets up after marriage and starts living together with their in-laws under one same roof
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**Nuclear**
* (EO NO. 209 s. 1987/Family Code) 
* It is a small group of people that includes a husband, a wife, and children (natural or adopted)
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**Complex**
An extended family where three or more adult members live together with their children
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**Step**
* Adults have separated and remarried and brought children from their other units to create a new nuclear group
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**Single parent**
* (RA 8972 /Solo Parent's Welfare Act) 
* It consists of one parent and his/her children. Such families can be the result of the death of a parent, separation, divorce or single-parent adoption
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**Foster**
* (REPUBLIC ACT NO. 10165/ Foster Care Act of 2012) 
* It involves one or more parents who play the role of a temporary guardian for one or more children
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**Childless**
These units include a couple with no children
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**Adopted**
* (REPUBLIC ACT NO. 8552/ THE DOMESTIC ADOPTION ACT OF 1998) 
* A couple may adopt a child with whom they don't share any genetic relation