HDE 012 Midterm 3 Study Guide (FINAL)

What sexual orientations did the panelists share as part of their identities?

o What pronouns did they share that they prefer?

o What are neo pronouns that was brought up?

BLAKE Gay (homosexual), TRISTAN (queer) , & ATHENA Queer

• he/him, zie/zier/ziers, she/her

• a word created to serve as a pronoun without expressing gender

Understand how sexually coercive behaviors differ from typical sexual behavior.

o Understand the different types of "force" used with sexual coercion

- sexual coercion occurs against an unwilling or incapacitated individual

- psychological/emotional force, physical force, alcohol/drugs

Understand two core concepts central to sexual coercion—molestation and sexual exploitation.

- molestation = tied in with children; done by an older child or adult

- sexual exploitation =exchange of sexual acts for something else

- about control, not sexual desire

What are included as forms of sexual violence? (lecture – graphic)

o Understand the different forms (both lecture material and textbook)

- sexual abuse

- sexual assault/rape

- sexual harassment

- stalking

- indecent exposure

- degrading sexual imagery

- voyeurism

- cyber harassment

- trafficking

- sexual exploitation

Why has the "Me Too" movement been significant in the United States?

gained traction due to celebs sharing personal stories and spreading awareness online

- led to prison sentencing for famous offenders

What is the legal definition of rape? Understand how this definition has changed from the original (legacy) definition.

o What impact did the current revised definition of rape have compared to the legacy definition? (see charts in lecture)

-- Did the number of actual assault increase or was it an increase in the number of reports?

- Law enforcement def: Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without consent of the victim

- textbook def: sexual penetration of the body using physical force, the threat of bodily harm, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person without consent

- legacy definition specified penile-vaginal sex, didn't include male victims, female perps, and citing nothing but penis as a weapon

- an increase in the number of reports, not actual assault increase

Compare and contrast the different categories of rape, including date rape, marital rape, and prisoner rape.

o Understand statistics discussed in lecture (from RAINN) regarding rape.

-- Are these statistics under-reported? Why/Why not?

o Is marital rape taken seriously? Understand why/why not.

o Understand gender differences regarding prisoner rape.

o Understand the risk factors for college students.

o What are date rape drugs? Understand the more common ones and how it affects victims.

o What are some ways to one can protect him/her/their self from date rape?

o What is victim-blame? Understand examples of “victim blaming.”

o What is rape culture?

-- What contributes to rape culture?

-- What other social issues have been found to connected with rape culture?

-- What is predatory behavior? Are some sexually related comments predatory? Understand why / why not.

Categories of rape

- date rape: forcible sex from someone a victim is dating or had some sort of romantic or potentially sexual relationship

- Marital rape: rape between spouses

- prisoner rape

Statistics

- many rape cases used to go unnoticed an under-reported due to the non-inclusive definition

- yes, we've made laws that you cannot force your spouse into sex

- prisoner rape has majority of male victims

-college women are 3x more likely to experience sexual assault than women in general. college men are 5x more likely to experience SA

- date rape drugs are substances used by predators to overcome their victims in order to commit nonconsensual acts with them (alcohol, roofies, GHB, Ketamine, MDMA)

- practice "intelligent drinking"

- the tendency of victims to place blame on themselves or to be blamed by others

- an environment in which rape is normalized due to societal attitudes towards gender

- victim blaming, sexual harassment, denial of problem

- correlated with racism, sexism, homophobia, etc.

- predatory behavior is

- yes, sexual harassment is predatory

Describe cultural differences in sexual norms as they relate to coercive behaviors / sexual violence.

• US is hostile towards victims, which creates culture of blame. Is rape-prone due to normative occurrence of sexual violence and belief that women's desires are unimportant• Culture influences prevalence of acts committed and how communities/groups respond to victims and perps

Identify commonly observed characteristics of perpetrators / offenders of sexual coercion.

o What other issues are these characteristics positively correlated with?

Heterosexual males who are more aggressive, use of coercive tactics (manipulation/psychological)• • low self-esteem, hostile attitudes toward women sexual minorities, conservative and moralistic, sex-negative attitudes about intimacy, associate with peer groups that accept rape, may grow up feeling guilty about sex and see sex/nudity as foul and shameful, may have been victims of sexual abuse

What are the reported differences between more rape-prone and less rape-prone societies and groups?

Rape-prone: women desires and rights are considered to be unimportant, women are not valued, physical sexual coercion is normative, war zone/conflicts• Less rape-prone: egalitarian power and authority structure, female traits are valued, does not engage in victim blaming

Understand and explain the impact of rape on its survivors, including suggestions on supporting survivors.

o Is rape trauma? (Review table 14.3)

o What did Dr. Rapalyea explain regarding physiological sex response (e.g.vaginal lubrication, etc) in reaction to

sexual assault?

o Understand the perspectives by survivors in articles posted in the module.

- yes, rape is a traumatic experience of a violation of one's body, trust, and vulnerability

- physiological response does not equal consent - it's PHYSICAL not CHOICE

- the trauma that has followed them in everyday life and the need for offenders to take accountability

Identify the different forms of child sexual abuse (e.g. online, incest, etc) and characteristics of children at risk.

• Online: predators posing as younger online. Usually statutory rape.• Incest: most is between daughters and fathers and older brothers and younger sisters, as well as stepfathers. Usually hidden so may be underreported.

Identify signs of childhood sexual abuse, behaviors of children who have been abused sexually, and consequences of childhood sexual abuse experienced by survivors.

• Child reports to trust person, detailed understanding of sexual behavior, torn or bloody underwear, victim of other abuse, STIs, compulsive masturbation or seductive behaviors/inappropriate sexual activity or aggression, school problems/change in academic performance, soils bed, sudden speech disorders• Inappropriate, unusual, or sexually aggressive ways with peers or toys• Link between later alcohol abuse, self-destructive behavior, PTSD

Understand how child pornography contributes to the sexual victimization of children.

• Images can be quickly distributed and usually anonymously through the internet• Many laws against it but laws have no actually stopped production- greater prosecution of first-time offenders due to increased online surveillance

Identify behaviors that are part of sexual harassment and explain how to respond to them.

o What are the types of sexual harassment? Be able to apply definitions to scenarios. (was discussed in part in lecture)

• Any unwelcome verbal, physical, or sexual conduct that has the effect of creating an intimidating, hostile, or offensive environment.• Actual or attempting rape or sexual assault, pressuring for sexual favors/dates, deliberate touching/leaning over/cornering/pinching, sending letter/phone class of sexual nature, sexual looks, gestures, jokes, remarks, questions, name calling, sexual discussion at work, personal questions, kissing/whistling sounds, touching or rubbing, up-down look• Tell the offender what you find offensive and ask them to stop. If it is reoccurring, ask someone else for help or report.

Identify behaviors associated with teen dating abuse and sexual bullying.

- Prevention from spending time with family or friends, pressure to only spend time with partner. Sexual expectations/pressure and going sexually further than desired.

- directing sexual comments/jokes, writing sexual messages in public places

What is the sex work?

-- What is another term used to describe sex work? How is this term different from "sex work"?

-- Do sex workers have different types of work? Understand the sex industry

• How are sex workers exploited?

• How does survival sex explain sex work / sex workers?

-- Do sex workers have rights? Understand the differences among different countries.

sex work = employed in the sex industry; provide sexual services

also called prostitutes - different from sex work bc it historically has not been a choice

different kinds of work - not all have sex but rather work in the sex industry

not all are exploited

some sex workers (like those in rural Nevada and the Netherlands) have rights protecting them

What is human trafficking?

-- What are the purposes of human trafficking?

• What is this also thought of?

• Is human trafficking profitable? Which country was discussed as making almost a third of global profit?

3rd largest international crime industry; involving transporting someone across International and domestic borders

purposes = labor and sexual exploitations

also though of as modern day slavery

profit estimated at $32 billion/year globally

United States

What is sex trafficking?

-- How does the United States define sex trafficking?

-- Which group(s) is most exploited?

-- Who are the sex traffickers?

the use of force, fraud, or coercion to compel a person into commercial sex acts or labor or services against his or her will

most exploited = minor boys and girls (ages 12-14), vulnerable, broken homes, history of abuse, bullied, LGBTQ, addiction to drugs

pimps, master manipulators

Understand the myths regarding prostitution (lecture only)

myth: being a prostitute is a choice

- age, manipulation, force, control

myth: prostitutes enjoys having sex

- many cope with alcohol, drugs, and/or dissociation

myth: prostitution is a victimless crime

- they don't have a choice

myth: prostitution is a glamorous lifestyle

- perpetuated by media/pop culture

How are trafficked victims found and recruited? (lecture only)

o Who are the trafficked victims?

o Who are exploiters? Understand the different terminologies regarding exploiters.

-- What are the mindset of specific exploiters?

- found through internet, specific areas (tracks), businesses (strip clubs, truck stops, hotels/motels, casinos, massage parlors), low income apartments, sporting events

- victims can be anyone; vulnerable, history of abuse, broken/dysfunctional home, bullied, LGBTQ, addiction to drugs

- exploiters = sex purchasers ("Johns" , "tricks", "dates") and pimps ("daddy", "mama" )

- girls/boys are seen as products or property, research how to build their business, money is their primary motivation

Why don’t victims ask for help? (lecture only)

o What is meant by “the life” or “the game”?

-- How are victims kept in “the life”?

o Understand the relationship between a pimp and victim.

- the life/game = sex trafficking

- kept in the life through isolation, violence, threats, fear, intimidations, and branding

- relationship similar to domestic violence relationships (Stockholm syndrome, victim is broken down to see exploiter as savior/provider)

How has COVID affected sex trafficking? (lecture only)

increased sex trafficking; bc of increased isolation, less checking on kids, kids weren't in school, and social workers couldn't check up on kids

How does pornography affect sex trafficking?

high demand = high need for supply

increases demand for child pornography

teen girls make up majority of porn

How has certain legislation discussed affect sex trafficking? (lecture only)

o How is law enforcement working to end sex trafficking?

decriminalization of juvenile prostitution, legalization of adult prostitution, shut down of internet sites

law enforcement focused on reducing demand

Describe resiliency research and discuss its importance in understanding sexual coercion.

• Positive capacity of people to cope with stress and adversity. Many sexual abuse victims face depression, PTSD, substance abuse, low self-esteem, and risk of revictimization

- More encouraging research shows not all victims resort to denial or poor coping mechanisms-good coping skills predict better emotional adjustment and decrease rate for future revictimization.

What can good men/males do to prevent sexual violence? (lecture only - see additional resource handouts that is posted in the

lecture module)

o Why should men should care about sexual violence / rape?

o Why are they important as allies in the fight to end sexual violence?

Acknowledge statistics involving victims

- Don't ignore predatory behaviors of male friends and ask if you would let them around your female family and friends

- Don't be passive and let other male behaviors define males and masculinity• Be an ally/upstander

What is consent? (see also video posted in module)

o When is consent able to be given? When is it not able to be given?

o When is consent no longer valid?

A clear and unambiguous "yes"

- it is able to be given voluntarily, freely, and enthusiastically

- must be ongoing during sexual activity

- it is no longer valid if your partner changes his/her mind, unclear responses, incapacitated, physiological reaction does NOT equal consent

Understand the difference between an upstander vs. bystander?

o How would the two male / Swedish grad students in the Stanford case be described? (see article posted)

o Understand how being an upstander applies to other situations besides sexual violence. (for example, recent and current protests)

An upstander is someone who...

- stands up for their belief

- someone who does what they think is right, even if they're alone

Bystander: watches things happen without taking action

- upstanders

- being courageous and joining organizations

Understand the different issues of sexual arousal and dysfunction between male and female

female sexual arousal disorder (FSAD): The inability to attain or maintain sexual excitement due to subjective or physical factors and responses.

erectile dysfunction (ED): The inability to have or maintain an erection for sexual expression.

Describe the DSM-5 criteria for diagnosis. What does DSM mean?

o Understand the differences between paraphilia vs. paraphilic disorder

-- How is paraphilia determined to be or not be a psychological disorder?

-- What does “clustering” of paraphilias mean?

o Explain why people with a paraphilia may experience difficulty when they seek treatment.

Means Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

• Paraphilia: does not require psych. treatment Paraphilic disorder: may cause distress/impairment to individual's daily funct. personal harm or risk of harm to others

-- coercive = harmful to others ; non-coercive = not harmful

-- means more than one paraphilia

• may feel they are treated as ill or sick (?)

Understand the difference between impulsive and compulsive disorders.

o Understand related terms / concepts

o Is sexual addiction a reality or a myth?

compulsive sexual behavior: Behavior that individuals are unable to control even though they have repeatedly tried to do so.

• hypersexuality: Frequent or sudden expression of sexual urges; not a paraphilia.

• extreme sexual behaviors: Risky, noncoercive behaviors between consenting adults that test the limits of what a culture tolerates within its spectrum of sexual behavior.

• sexual compulsivity: A person’s inability to control sexual urges; not a paraphilia.

• sexual shame: overwhelming feelings of shame, guilt and remorse about sexual memories, feelings and fantasies, negatively affects sexual satisfaction

• sexual addiction: A controversial disorder of intimacy; not a paraphilia; similar characteristics of other types of additctions

Understand the different types of paraphilias (both textbook and lecture)

o A research project may challenge a specific type of behavior as being a “paraphilia” – which paraphilia was this project on and how may its classification be challenged?

o What is the response that one should take with dealing with exhibitionists and obscene phone calls? Why?

coercive paraphilia: A sexual practice that involves the use of force against a sexual partner.

noncoercive paraphilia: A sexual practice that involves only one person or involves consent between adults to engage in a sexual practice that may involve pain, humiliation, pleasure,

and other emotions.

• this project was on ABDL (Adult Baby Diaper Lover) and they found that it wasn't about sex but about comfort and security that was missing earlier in life

• give no reaction, because they will get aroused by your reaction and use this for later

Understand the theories regarding the origins of paraphilias

(1) inner conflict and unresolved incestuous fantasies; freud

(2) Behavioral theory: consider a young boy who hides in his mother’s closet to mastur- bate. Several pairs of high-heeled shoes are also in the closet. He masturbates to orgasm with all the shoes in his field of vision. If he continues this behavior regularly, he might become conditioned to become sexually aroused just looking at a pair of high-heeled shoes. Just touch- ing the shoes may give him an erection. That positive reinforcement can set off a chain reaction in sexual development that may lead to extreme sexual behaviors as the outcome.

(3) Sociobiological theory: different paraphilias may enhance an individual’s level of sexual excitation through a process of adaptation that results in increased procreation, and thus survival of the species

Describe treatments for paraphilic disorders

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy, which may help people to recondition their sexual behaviors. This approach has proven to be increasingly popular and successful.

• Social skills training, which may be applied to how people handle intimacy, and thus help them relate to sexual partners better.

• Twelve-step programs, historically modeled on Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), may help people when they think they cannot control their sexual urges, including the chal- lenge of compulsive sexual behavior. These programs are available around the globe.

• Group psycho- and sexual therapy, which may help people to overcome shame and guilt, and, perhaps, overcome past trauma.

• Individual supportive psychotherapy, which can support a person’s desire and need to change.

• Medications, such as anti-androgens, psychiatric drugs, prescribed by a psychiatrist or physician, which may enable people to address coexisting conditions which might be responsible for the lack of impulse control or compulsive behavior.

Understand the context behind how extreme sexuality varies across cultures.

eg: oral sex was considered strange or foreign and is now popular in the US, biting at each others eyelashes in Trobriand culture, french kissing considered extreme in some cultures

Define extreme sexual behaviors (ESBs).

risky, non-coercive behaviors between consenting adults that test the limits of what a culture tolerates

What is kinky sex?

kinky sex: a form of sexual interaction that may involve pain and ritual rules, pushing sexuality to the extreme.

What is sex tourism?

sex tourism: Traveling for the purpose of having sex in return for money or goods

Identify how sexual novelty in pleasure is normative.

Sexual Novelty: Creative exploration of what is sexually arousing and satisfying to one or both partners

- Includes other sexual behaviours, such as using new sexual techniques or delaying orgasm

Discuss some common sexual alternatives, including sex toys.

• Plastic or rubber dildos can stimulate various parts of the body.

• Penis-shaped vibrators, some of which are very long.

• Vibrators simulate a massage for the vagina or anus or another bodily orifice.

• Artificial vaginas allow for penile insertion.

• Cock rings clamp around the base of the penis to increase arousal and prolong sex.

• Penile extensions are short dildos that increase penis size.

• Nipple clamps can put gentle pressure on nipples and breasts to create pleasure.

Describe the meaning of normative variations in the context of healthy sexuality.

Occasional viewing of adult pornography is no longer considered an extreme sexual behavior and is not a paraphilia. Viewing child pornography, however, is a diagnostic of a paraphilia, especially pedophilia.

How has sexual content changed our culture?

o Understand the different ways sex and aspects of sexuality is involved with media

1. Private sexual imagery has become more public

2. More explicit sexual images are being shared in public

3. Explicit sex talk has become more acceptable in diverse conversations

4. Sex in pop culture has transformed public attitudes about sexuality in society as a whole

Describe how the media can blur the boundary between private and shared sexual images.

o What is shared sexual imagery? (understand application to examples shared in lecture and in reading)

o What is sexual consumerism?

Shard sexual imagery:

Any content that contains sexual messages, these can be

explicit or hidden; real or imagined; visual or auditory

Sexual consumerism: selling items with sexuality (manipulation to buy the product)

Ex: think carls junior and the bikini lady eating the burger

Examine how diverse media types have influenced sexual norms, sexual expression, sexual expectations, and/or socioemotional development (both lecture and reading).

Influences's sexual expectations- by sending expectations to men and women. Influences behaviors and sensitivity towards others

Affects:

•self-esteem

•body image

•perception of attractiveness

- Music-- Auditory format in which a culture describes what is significant of sexual love and as being beautiful or ugly. Music influences people's sexual well-being in a variety of ways

-Television and Movies-- Initially, television shows and early movies were censored or pretty restricted and there was a lot of strong gender stereotypes-- Later, movies started depicting the new notions of love, sex, and romance

-From TV to Reality TV-- Television evolved to include explicit discussion about sexual themes and new sexual themes previously regarded as private-- Reality TV showed situations that challenged sexual normsThe Internet and Sexual Literacy

Explain the role that the Internet has played in revolutionizing human society and how it impacts our social connection to one another.

- The internet has become a practical tool for individuals who have little social support in their local community for expression variations in sexual attraction and may find identity, support and sexual relationships online

Generally: The internet is a positive force that improves people's lives- It has opened up a whole new world of online dating, virtual relationships, virtual love, virtual sex and virtual humans

Discuss norms and boundaries as they occur online.

NORMS: use social networking, search information online

BOUNDARIES: help people know what is unique about their own sexual individuality

-- Affects sexual well-being

-- These limits have a wide range

What is social media?

o How has social media usage changed over time?

Social media is a collective term for online communication channels devoted to user based input, interaction, collaboration, and sharing of content.

• In 2005 only 5% of internet users were on social media while in 2019 70% were

Understand the benefits vs. potential problems associated with social media

o Understand the different types of information disorders

Benefits:

•social support

•easy and quick assess to info

•online learning

•employment opportunities

Problems:

•online v reality

•mis/dis/mal information

addictive

•fomo

•social skill issues

What are social media influencers? How knowledgeable are they about specific topics?

Influences focus on specific topics of knowledge that generate large groups of followers who pay very close attention to their views

•Mega- gained fame offline

Macro- B-grade

•Micro- everyday ppl with a small following

What does "strange familiarity" mean? How does this contribute to influencing aspects of sexuality?

Strange familiarity- when you feel like you know a lot a bout a person because you follow them when they don't even know that you exist

Are online / internet activities truly private?

NOOOOO. the second something goes onlie it is copied

What are the influences of the internet on sexuality?

o Effect on sexual literacy?

o Understand some of the examples giving regarding online dating.

Sexual literacy

PRO:

-provides for a safer, more neutral area for ppl to explore their sexuality

- give support to those that express variation in sexual attraction, allows one to find their sexual identity

CON:

-distorts health perceptions

-distorts realistic relationships

-source of rape culture

-spreads fake news

-used to harass others

Online dating:

-predators

-catfish

-also allows ppl to find others

What is sexting? Know the positive and negative aspects of sexting.

o Understand the legal issues around sexting

o What is revenge porn? Is this legal?

Sexting is sending, receiving, or forwarding sexually explicit messages, photographs, or videos

POS:

-ave of communication

-way to enjoy sexuality

NEG:

-sexual risk taking

-lack of boundaries

-anti-social goals

-Legal issues (ONLY LEGAL BTWN ADULTS)

-Revenge porn

Why is online sexual socialization a concern regarding children?

Because children can consume incorrect information

Explain how the internet allows for sexual self-exploration and has changed the ways in which people have interact with their sexuality online. (reading mainly)

o What is meant by "online boundaries"?

Boundaries help us know what is unique about their own sexual individuality

Affects sexual well-being. These limits have a wide range

What are sexual avatars?

o Review research on Second Life (see textbook pg. 91)

-Mostly in Massively Multiplayer Online Role-playing games

-an online representation of an alter ego playing a computer game used in a sexual sense (there is gender bending)

•Second life: interactive sexual experience, allows people to have imaginary sexual bodies and sex lives in dreamlike experiences

Describe how pornography has changed the role of media in our personal sexual lives

o Understand the different types of pornography

o How is pornography different from erotica?

Types of porn:

-Soft porn: just nude images

-Hard-core porn: Aggressive and violent. Usually demeaning

-Homegrown porn: penetrative sex but much more demographic

Erotica is about sex but it is supposed to evoke feeling

Describe the process of pornification and its effect on sexual conduct on- and offline

Very controversial

Using sex from pop culture as pornography when its not

Emphasizing the nakedness when it's not even pornography

Discuss the cultural influence on the standards of physical attractiveness.

- There are different cultural influences on the standards of physical attractiveness for each culture. Some cultures value thinner people, while others value more curvaceous/buff bodies- Some cultures value height while others don't. Some cultures value natural looks while others prefer more manicured people

Not all standards of physical attractiveness are the same culture to culture

Identify the main theories of biological, physical and psychological attraction.

BIOLOGICAL:

•Influenced by- genes, hormones, brain and other factors

PHYSICAL:

•Halo effect- the perception of what is beautiful is good

•Most important in early stages

•heterosexual makes place greater emphasis on this

•standards btwn beauty and sexiness vary

•The matching hypothesis

people select romantic and sexual partners based upon the other person's attractiveness

- Characteristics include: body image, facial features, sex, age, personality, education, faith, ethnicity, social class

PSYCHOLOGICAL:

•Similarity-attraction hypothesis: the more similar two individuals are, the greater attraction there will be between them

•Homogamy: sharing characteristics such as; Attachment style, Political and religious views, Socioeconomic status, Educational level, and Intelligence level

•Complementarity: the idea that opposites attract

•Sexual scripts theory: love maps (scripts) guide our actions internally and with others. Theory that individuals develop scripts for sexual roles and behavior that incorporate the sexual rules of their culture

•Proximity: exposure effect

•Reciprocity: when someone likes us back it boosts our self esteem

What is Exotic becomes erotic (EBE) theory

A heterosexual theory.

people are attracted to what is unusual or exotic to them

o What was the "bottomline" emphasized about attraction?

Attraction is not the same for everyone and there are differences in long term balances

Describe variability in physical attractiveness across cultures.

What is considered beautiful or disgusting in a part of the one culture may differ across cultures

Explain forms of sexual interest across cultures.

- Sexual culture and communication in all societies involve shared sexual images, whether real or imagined, visual or auditory, the content of which contains explicit or hidden sexual messages.

- Music - has the impact as does touch and smell, to arouse deep feelings and desires.

Understand the concept of "love"

o How does it develop?

o How is it defined? What components are involved?

o Understand the different "types". How is it different from lust?

•begins with attraction (can develop quickly or slowly)

•Difficult to define b/c it means dif things to dif ppl

componets: models we observe, conversations with others, societal influences (culture, religion, media)

•love is not lust

TYPES:

-parent and child

-btwn friends (philia)

-Between lovers: passionate and companionate

Understand the different components of Sternberg's Triangular theory of love.

o Which component(s) are more enduring? Which component(s) have short duration?

o Which type of kind of love is the hardest to achieve? (note there are several kinds of love in the Triangular theory of love).

o Do people stay in one type of love?

3 components:

1. Passion (builds and then fades)

- passion alone is called infatuation

2. Intimacy (feeling of closeness)

-intimacy alone is called liking

3.Commitment

- commitment alone is empty love

OTHER TYPES:

-Romantic love: intimacy and passion

-Companionate love: intimacy and commitment

-Fatuous love: passion and commitment

-Consummate love: intimacy, passion, and commitment. This is the hardest type of love

PPl move in and out of these types of love

Understand Lee's styles of love.

o Are these individual styles or relationship styles?

o Are these stable styles?

PRIMARY:

1. Eros (romantic)

-Beauty and sexuality

2. Storage (companionate)

-Peqace and Friendship

3. Ludus (game-playing)

-Entertainment and excitement

SECONDARY:

4. Agape (Altruistic)

-Eros+ Storge

-Selfnessness and compassion

5. Pragma (pragmatic)

-Ludas + Storge

-Practicality and tradition

6. Mania (obsessive/possesive)

-Eros+ Ludus

-Elation and depression

These are individual styles

What is attachment?

o How does attachment influence love and/or later intimate relationships?

Love as Attachment

[love is an emotional bond rooted in infancy]

Securely attached: secure in relationships, comfortable with being dependent and depended on

Anxious-ambivant: want to be close, but don't believe others want same, don't trust partners love them

Avoidanat Attached: not wanting to be close to others, don't believe in love, afraid of intimacy

How do we move from attraction to "falling in" love?

-deep social and emotional needs in humans

-biological need as great as hunger and sex

-evolutionary theory (exclusivity of sexual partners to ensure reproductive success)

Understand jealousy in relationships and gender differences.

Jealousy-prone person:

low self esteem and puts high value on wealth and popularity

Negative consequences:

precipitates partner violence, stifles relationship development, and raises anxiety, depression and anger

Gender differences:

- Women: more jealous of rivals' attractiveness, acknowledge jealously, more upset by emotional attachments

- Men: more jealous of wealth/recognition, deny jealous feelings, more upset by sexual relationships

What are the common reasons given for relationships breaking up? (see also summary slide in lecture notes / reading)

o What is the number one reason for relationship failure?

o What positive(s) can result from relationship failure(s)?

Common reasons:

-poor communication

-selfishness

-inequality

-intolerance

-incompatibility

-deception

BUT: breakups are an opportunity for learning and growing

What is needed to build / nurture healthy romantic relationships? (see also summary slide in lecture notes / discussed across various topics all quarter)

o Which of these is the key to achieving healthy relationships (not just sexual)? (apply knowledge)

•Starts with self-respect and acceptance

• Acceptance of and respect for partner

• Expect and respect changes in self, mate, and relationship

• Explore each other's interest and passions

• Build a foundation of mutual empathy and respect

•Establish good communication •Expect conflicts

• Be willing to compromise

• Make a commitment

• Make effort to "maintain" the relationship

•sexual variety

COMMUNICATION IS SOOOOO IMPORTANT

Explain how emotional literacy affects your sexual and intimate communication.

o Understanding sexual language

o What is emotion work?

o What is non-verbal communication?

Being able to communicate your feelings is key to better your sexual and intimidate communication with your partner

Describe the importance of the connection between sexual health, positive decision making, and communication skills.

AVOIDING OBSTICALS:

-Sex myths: feeling comfortable about anatomical correct information will increase communication

- Sexual fear: fearing sexuality makes communication impossible-- Negative beliefs about sex: certain beliefs in families, cultures, and communities will discourage individuals to engage in positive conversations about sexuality

- Lack of sex information: a lack of sexual education may cause some sexual communication problems

- Privacy and boundaries: people's sense of privacy affects their ability not only to communicate, but also to purchase contraception or to purchase items that may enhance their sexual experience\

What is sexual self-disclosure?

o Understand communication privacy management theory

How much to reveal/not to reveal

Communication privacy theory- States that the revelation of private information in a relationship has the potential to leave individuals feeling vulnerable or resentful regarding the shared information.

Describe how the concept of emotional literacy contributes to sexual literacy and sexual well-being.

Being emotionally literate allows you to express your feelings. Sexual literacy allows you to talk openly about sexuality which connects to sexual well-being

Understand Gottman's styles of communication

o What ratio does Gottman discuss? (see pg. 469 textbook)

GOTTMAN STYLES OF PROBLEM SOLVING:

1. Validating- when in an argument the couple lets each-other knows what emotions they are feeling and they validate eachothers emotions even if they do not agree with them

2. Volatile- fight on a large scare but also make up on a large scale

3. Conflict-avoiding- make light of difference's instead of trying to resolve them

Key is to have a balance between negativity and positivity is 5 positives: 1 negitive

What 4 characteristics does Gottman describe as disastrous for communication?

o What is gaslighting? Which of the characteristics would this reflect?

4 HORSEMEN OF DISASTROUS COMMUNICATION:

1. Criticism

2. Contempt

3. Defensiveness

4. Stonewalling

Gaslighting is a subcategory of contempt where another person will act as another is crazy in order to be right

List ways that communication skills can be enhanced / improved in healthy relationships.

o What are the repair mechanisms discussed?

Saying no in a relationship is critical for a healthy relationship as well as mutual empathy

What kind of consent do you need to get from your partner? (see also sexual coercion topic and posted communication guide).

o When can consent be withdrawn?

o What kind of non-verbal and verbal communication does one need to look for to determine consent or withdrawal of consent?

YES MEANS YES

concent can be withdrawn and needs to be verbal

Exhibitionism

indecent exposure

coercive paraphilia

- exposing genitals to unwilling others - they want a reaction from the victim to achieve sexual arousal

- suggested response

-- calmly ignore it

-- leave immediately

-- report to authorities

Obscene phone calls

subtype of exhibitionism

coercive paraphilia

- unwilling participant

- sexual arousal from reaction to call

- usually someone you know

- suggested response:

-- gently hang up and ignore re-call

-- screen calls or set up call tracing

-- report and ask for new number

Voyeurism

Peeping Tom

coercive paraphilia

- Sexual arousal from observing others undressing or engaging in sexual activity, without their consent

-- risk of being caught is arousing

- video voyeurism = people spying through cameras

Frotteurism

Touching or rubbing against an unwilling victim

coercive paraphilia

- copping a feel

- not always caught

- similar profile as exhibitionist

- sexual arousal and orgasm from the act

Zoophilia

coercive paraphilia

Beastiality (rare)

sexual contact with animals

- usually transitory behavior

- lack of availability of human partner

Necrophelia

coercive paraphilia

Sexual arousal viewing or having intercourse with corpse

- exclusively among males

Peophilia

coercive paraphilia

sexual arousal from observing or engaging in sexual activity with minors (especially prepubescent; no secondary sexual characteristics)

- is a form of coercive paraphilia (most widespread, most vile, no tolerance around the world)

understand:

1. having the desire is not the same as engaging in behavior

2. pedophilic disorder only when urges are acted upon

3. minors cannot consent to sex w/ adult

4. context is important (child sex. abuse trauma)

5. not about sexual orientation (based on access)

BDSM

non-coercive paraphilia

Bondage & Discipline ; Domination & Submission ; Sadism & Masochism ; Slave & Master

a community that is solely based on consensual activities, and based on its system and laws

• Role playing is a key aspect

-- Lots of variations

-- May or may not involve sex

sadomasochistic behavior

non-coercive paraphilia

difficult to label because some behaviors are common • Two variations of similar experiences involving

pleasure

1) Sexual sadism: sexual arousal from giving sex./psych. pain

2) Sexual masochism: sexual arousal from recieving sex./ psych. pain

women are more likely to be sadists and men masochists

Domination and Submission

non-coercive paraphilia

• sexual arousal from the consensual acting out of

-- One person dominates and the other submits

-- But this is NOT considered a paraphilia

• form of fantasy sex

-- D/S behaviors are carefully controlled – have elaborate shared scripts

• Main characteristic: not about pain, but about power & control, however this is an illusion => fantasy

Transvestic fetishism

non-coercive paraphilia

• Definition: Sexual arousal from wearing clothes of other sex

• Characteristics

-- behavior that persists for min of 6 months

-- develops from conditioning and reinforcement

• Rarely harmful to others

• Label is rejected by trans community inn

sexual fetishism

non-coercive paraphilia

Definition: Sexual arousal primarily from a particular body part or nonliving object (fetish)

• Symbolic transformation

-- involves classical conditioning

mmmm

• Characteristics

-- Most people have slight fetishistic traits

• Rarely harmful to others

ABDL

ABDL

• subculture of BDSM, but not well accepted

-- Adult baby (AB)

-- Diaper lover (DL)

• Paraphilic Infantilism

Furries

• Another role playing paraphilia

• associated with plushophilia (stuffed animals)

• may or may not involve actual sex but may engage in sexualized behaviors (dry sex)

-- Yiffing

--- will see sexualized comments / actions in online role-playing games (rpgs) related to furry characters

autoerotic asphyxiophilia

A form of fetishistic arousal related to asphyxiation; sexual arousal from suffocating combined with masturbation

high with caucation males

Klismaphilia

a condition in which sexual arousal is achieved repeatedly by being given an enema

coprophilia

deriving sexual satisfaction from contact with feces

Urophilia

sexual arousal caused by urine or the act of urination