Lecture 10 - Social development Part 2

Partner selection 2 ways

→ “Birds of a feather flock together” or “Opposites attract” ?

1. Similarity → Homogamy

2. Complementarity

What are Filter theories?

1. Similarities in physical appearance, race or ethnicity, education, socioeconomic status, religion → provides basis for dating

2. More disclose about themselves, look for similarity in values, attitudes, beliefs, and personality traits → if compatible: relationship may survive

• Influence of personality traits like emotional stability and agreeableness

Sternbergs’s Triangular Theory of love

Three components of adult love relationships

1. Passion (sexual arousal)

2. Intimacy (feelings of closeness)

3. Commitment (marriage; exclusive, lifelong cohabiting relationships)

• Change across relationship:

• passion → intimacy → commitment

  ➔ Keeping passion and intimacy takes work

Attachment styles in Adulthood

Secure attachment style

• Positive model of self

• Positive model of others

History of secure attachment

• Healthy balance between attachment and autonomy;

• Freedom to explore.

  • Low anxiety, low avoidance

Preoccupied Attachment style

• Negative model of oneself

• Positive model of others

History of resistant/ambivalent attachment.

• Desires desperately for love to feel valuable as a person;

• Worries about abandonment;

• Expresses fear and anger openly.

  • High anxiety, low avoidance.

Dismissing Attachment style

• Positive model of oneself

• Negative model of others

History of avoidant attachment

• Closes himself from emotions

• Defends against hurt by avoiding intimacy

• Downplays the importance of relationships

• IS “compulsively self-reliant”

  • Low anxiety, high avoidance

Fearful Attachment style

• Negative model of onself

• Negative model of others

History of disorganized-disoriented attachment

• Needs relationships, but doubts self-worth and fears intimacy

• Lacks a coherent strategy to fulfill attachment needs

  • High anxiety, high avoidance

Challenges for new parents

▪ Alterations in hormones, neurobiology

▪ Physical health

▪ Self-concept, identity

▪ Perceived efficacy

▪ Emotional health

▪ Relationships

▪ Social networks

▪ Varying degrees of exhaustion, depression, anxiety, marital conflict,

emotional lability, social isolation, feelings of guilt

▪ Disconnect between media representation of parenthood and the reality

Which challenges are linked to parenting?

Relationship threats

• Less time for intimacy: Time is invested in children, household, work

• Division of labor: Women are forced into gender-typical roles, have to cut back career

Mental health of new parents across the world

17% of new mothers develop postpartum depression

• Large global differences (6% in Denmark to 61% in Afghanistan)

What are some risk factors for developing postpartum depression?

Risk factors include:

• Education

• Income

• Stress (financial, life events)

• Complications at birth

• Social support/network

• Perinatal mental health

• Planned pregnancy

• Violence

Wang et al (2021)

Divison of labor as new parents

Influence of attachment on romantic relationships

• Secure: positive emotions, longer relationships, can discuss problems well

• Dismissing: fear of intimacy, shut down, inhibit feelings

• Preoccupied: obsessive and jealous, emotional during conflicts

What influences internal working models?

Internal working models are shaped by early parent-child relationships, but influenced by the quality of later relationships (sensitive partners can make a difference!)

Does marriage make people happy?

Robust evidence: marriage status is linked to better health and subjective well-being

• Stronger effects for men than for women

• But: benefits of marriage apply to happy marriages

• Also: No differences in midlife happiness in married vs. long-term

cohabiting couples

➢ Research should go beyond

→ Marriage quality!

Main marital pathway

• Marriage begins with high expectations, after which disenchantment sets in

• Happiness is at its peak during honeymoon phase

• Satisfaction rapidly slopes downward, and then tends to decline more slowly or level out around year four

• Positive change occurs with empty nest

• Yet, most couples far more satisfied than dissatisfied with their marriage even after “honeymoon” phase → still happy but more realistic view

When is happiness at its peak during marriage?

During honeymoon phase

When does positive change occur in marriage?

Empty nest

When does marriage satisfaction decline?

Satisfaction rapidly slopes downward, and then tends to decline more slowly

or level out around year four

Marital satisfaction and family transitions

After how many years of marriage is divorce risk highest?

What are some consequences of Separation?

Separation can cause overload of changes: moving, housework burden, legal hassles, financial problems...

What are 2 positive and 2 negative changes following Divorce?

Positive changes

• Production of emotional growth and feelings of self-sufficiency.

• Relief for some who were unhappy.

Negative changes

• Disengagement of one parent through lack of contact or not paying child support.

• Challenges with discipline or lack of connection to stepchildren.

Research of Amato & Hohmann-Marriott (2007) on Calling it quits on marriage

• Divorce after bad marriage: Increase in happiness

• Divorce after good marriage: Decrease in happiness

Deinstitutionalization

Decline in marriage and emergence of alternative family forms during last third of 20th century.

Amount of marriages declines

Historical embeddedness

• As the changing norms around marriage and cohabitation reflect how development is influenced by historical and cultural contexts.

Social clock model

• This model emphasizes societal expectations for the timing of life events, such as marriage or parenthood.

Unmarried cohabitors that do not intend to marry, according to reason

Diverse lifestyles — non-heterosexual marriage

The factor can be found in the Macrosystem, as it reflects societal changes, such as the legalization of same-sex marriage, which influence relationship satisfaction among non-heterosexual couples.