Marriage and Family Final

Position

A location within a social structure that defines relational expectations and responsibilities. Each position holds specific roles that affect others within the family system

role

A set of expectations and behaviors attached to a position. Roles are reciprocal and influence each other, e.g., parent-child, husband-wife

Social Structure

The recurring interaction patterns that form the organization of the family system. Determines how members relate and function together

Rules

The spoken or unspoken expectations that govern family interactions.

What do healthy rules promote

communication

What do unhealthy rules promote

suppress feelings and honesty

Power

The ability to influence or make decisions within the family

Homeostasis

A family's balance between change and stability

Discipline

teaches responsibility by connecting choices with consequences

Positive Feedback

Encourages or amplifies change withing a family

Negative Feedback

Restores balance by discouraging deviation from norms

What is the formula for a healthy family

Stability + Flexibility

What does too much negative feedback cause

rigidity

Physical Custody

Determines where the child lives; can be sole or joint

Legal Custody

determines who makes the major life decisions for the child; can be sole or joint

Family scapegoat

a member that is blamed for family issues to divert attention from deeper problems

Double Bind

a no-win situation where conflicting messages make compliance impossible and clarification wrong

What does double-bind involve

2 or more members;a repeated experience; a primary negative injuction

What does too much positive feedback cause

chaotic unpredictability

What are the drawbacks of a custody battle

1. high emotional cost to children

2. Emotional cost to parents

3. High Financial Cost

4. Public exposure of private matters (dirty laundry)

What causes bad outcomes for children in divorce

Parental conflict

What are positve and negative feedback roles in a family system

Postive feedback promotes change; negative feedback maintains order. A healthy system needs both.

What are the rules of double-bind for a child

two or more members; conflicting commands; punishment either way (primary/secondary injuction), and inability to escape

What are the payoffs of a triange

marital relationship is maintained; couple does not have to deal with their own risky issues

What is the price of a triangle

fewer chances of achieving marital intimacy;pressure on children to cross generational boundaries

What are the key issues of cooperative parenting

the well-being of the child must outweight dislike of the ex; communciate directly, share decisions, keep consistent rules, support ex's relationship with child.

What are the challenges with a stepfamily

immediate parenting reduces bonding;loyalty conflicts; discipline

How do boys interact with their stepparents

prefer verbal affection; connects faster with stepfather

How do girls interact with their stepparents

prefer verbal affection; may be uncomfortable with physical affection from stepfather

What percentage of all children in the US will live in a step-family before age 18

33%

How long does it take for a step-family to adjust

2 - 4 years

What are the potential drawbacks of Natural Family Planning

May not work with medical problems; different body systems (heat); takes time getting used to; more effort;many doctors do not support it

What does Bray say is the most difficult aspect of the step-family

Parenting

How many report life getting better after divorce

20%

How many report their lives getting worse after divorce

30%

How often do people divorce without high conflict in the marriage

about half

What are the results from the Utah survey about divorce

75% of men and 66% of women wish their partner tried harder; 30% of men and 12% of women wish they had tried harder themselves

What is the difference between a traditionalist and Egalitarian

Traditionalists believe in male authority under God

Egalitarians see equal submission and role equality based on gifts

How do egalitarians view the word Kephale

Egalitarians view it as the source/origin

How do traditionalists view the word Kephale

They view it as authority

How do egalitarians view ephesians 5:22

they view it as mutual submission as submit is not repeated

What does Larry Crabb say about headship and submission

authority is fundamentally authority to serve, not to lead. Husband and wife equally serve each other through love and respect. They express their service differently. Husband serves by being involved in the family, serves as an advocate, he provides his family with direction. A wife serves prayerfully, advancing God's purposes, ministers to her husband, non-demanding respect, does not mechanically obey, but serves wisely.

What are the challenges that a traditionalist faces

1. submission implies inferiority

2. Submission is a product of the patriarch culture

3. The command to submit reflects our fall into sin, and redemption in Christ restores equality

4. Galations 2:28 cancels out headship and submission