CMN 3V - Final Questions Study Guide (Flashcards): Fall Quarter 2025

[Managing unwanted pursuit]

...

What are surveillance activities, harassment and intimidation, and hyperintimacy?

Surveillance Activities: various attempts at keeping tabs on the object of pursuit
e.g. loitering nearby, synchronizing schedules of activities, following, monitoring, and drive by attempts to locate the object of pursuit.

harassment and intimidation: actions that attempt to exert sufficient pressure, frustration, or annoyance to influence a person's behavior. "active harrassment"

Hyperintimacy: excessive or exaggerated expressions of courtship and attempts at closeness. ex: too much affection display

What are the "silver linings" in unwanted pursuits?

Greater personal resilience, confidence, or trust in friends and family

In the US, what percent of men and women will be stalked in their lifetime?

2% of men and 8% of women

How long does stalking relationship last?

about 1.8 years

What is the "knock and talk" strategy?

uniform officers make it clear to pursuer that their activities are unwanted and verging on law enforcement intervention along with all its consequences

What is the number one reason that a stalking episode stopped?

Direct communication
Following - restraining order, moved
calls - stalker told to stop

what are the various ways that victims of unwanted pursuit cope with it?

moving inward - (turning to self) , ignore problem, deny problem
moving outward - seeking advice
moving towards - interacting directly with pursuer to end relationship
moving against - verbal aggression , knock and talk
moving away - behave cautiously, distance yourself

What are the psychological and relational beliefs and complications that lead up to a stalking episode?

1. The relationship intentions between two people are mismatched/miscommunicated.
i.e. One person thinks of it as purely friendship, the other thinks the relationship can be something more.

2. . Persistence: The stereotype that being persistent will eventually win over the object of pursuit.
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again"
"Quitters never win, and winners never quit

3.We often experience problems ending a relationship as cleanly and finally as we would prefer. Being too polite/positive.

[Unrequited Romantic Disclosures/Fate of Friendships (2 & 4)]

...

What were the facts stated about male-female friendships?

Male female friendships are becoming more common as men and women interact more frequently via gender classes, work settings, etc

romantic or sexual attraction by at least one partner will happen at least 10-40 percent of the time

most ppl consider the loss of the friendship after love confession to be worse than rejection of feelings

what is the most common outcome out of "unrequited romantic disclosures"

if the disclosing partner views the situation as all or nothing then the relationship dissolves.
if the partners wish to maintain the relationship they had before, the outcome is less certain.
usually friendship dissolves, so both of ya'll have to work hard to maintain friendship.

what conditions occured when the postdisclosure friendships lasted?

1. verbal affirmation of the importance of friendship
2.saying its okay that one was rejected and they are okay with friendship/romance asymetry
3.a return to preepisode patterns and routines of social contact
4. one's disclosure of interest in other people
5. decrease or no increase of flirty or sexual innuendo that was there before

what conditions did not occur when the postdisclosure friendships lasted?

a. Either partner avoids social contact with the other
b. The romantically inclined partner complains about the absence of mutually romantic feelings
c. The platonically inclined partner suggests that mutual romantic feelings may develop in the future
d. The platonically inclined partner suggest that the romantic feelings cannot be reciprocated because of a new romantic target of his or her own.
e. The platonically inclined partner tells friends about the episode (and the other finds out)

what were the guidelines given for a friendship to be maintained after unrequited feelings of romance have been disclosed?

1.importance of friendship
2.acknowledging and dropping the incident
3.avoid discomfort or embarrassment
4.avoid perception that pursuer is pressuring toward romantic feelings
5.avoid complaining about unrequited episode.

[interactive aspects of interpersonal guilt]

...

what were the interactive aspects of interpersonal guilt discussed in the article?

Perceived appropriateness of guilt message, perceived effectiveness of guilt message, relational closeness and satisfaction on experience of guilt, impact of specific relational types (friends vs. romantic partners)

what are the three primary functions of guilt messages?

1.reinforce social norms/expectations
2.to influence a relational partner (most common) - getting them to do stuff like visit in-laws
3.redistribute emotional stress - showing another person you're sorry for your mistake makes them feel better

what does the author mean by the "jekyll and hyde" nature of interpersonal guilt?

Conflict between appropriateness and effectiveness. Can improve or give relationship negative consequences.

What is likely to occur when guilt messages are used?

guilt messages has potential to accomplish mutliple goals for sender. successful guilt message will motivate partner to behave in ways that will be positive for relationship. but negative is that the receiver will feel manipulated and remark negatively to sender or receiver will continue to devalue themselves.

what are final recommendations given to relational partners regarding the use of guilt messages?

openly discuss issues, resist temptations to use guilt, step back and look at facts (take stock of things) when partner tries to use a guilt message

[Communication during serial arguments]

...

what do cross complaining, mutual hostility, four horsemen, and validation loops mean? which of those are said to lead to divorce and which are said to be constructive?

Four horsemen said to lead to divorce. (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling).
cross complaining - complaint being met with another one (you dont take out the garbage, well u dont clean the house )
mutual hostility - insulting and threatening each other
validation loops- can be constructive, practicing of validating (acknowledging) each other's complaints in an argument`

what was said about constructive communication conflict strategies?

Beneficial for well being of relationship and health, and more important to reduce negativity instead of produce positivity

what are the three skills necessary to prevent mutual hostility?

1. avoiding negative start up
2.developing skills to constructively express anger
3.identifying escalating sequences and avoid escalation

[Unwanted escalation of sexual intimacy]

...

what are the common "female resistance messages" to sexual escalation?

Direct - please dont do this, i dont want to do this, lets stop this
less direct- we can do other things but not that, its against my religion, i dont think i know you well enough
indirect-lets be friends, its getting late, im on my period

indirect is most common

which are direct and indirect

direct is clear and indirect is misleading and vague.

what percent of college women have reported having experienced a male attempting to escalate physical intimacy beyond her comfort zone?

75 to 80 percent

what were the findings and suggestions made from this study

males are more likely to interpret direct messages as stop and are less likely to react negatively to direct messages.males have diff interpretations of indirect messages.

[good and bad advice]

...

what are the pros/cons of giving advice

pros - may strengthen relationships, recipient obtains useful info,receiver is soothed by sender's care and concern

cons- advice may not be needed or wanted, bad advice may easily lead to negative output and damage, may increase stress, may increase negative perception of advice giver

what are the guidelines provided for giving advice

a. advice needs to be appropriate to situation
b. advisor must choose whether and how to give advance based on themselves as sources of advice (if u are close or not)
c.advice must be respectful and sensitive in phrasing
d.advice is perceived more positively if they adhere to standards of content (usefullness)
e. certain characteristics of the recipient may influence how advice is received and advice givers may be able to adapt to this such as seriousness of the problem or distress
f.think carefully about action such as why its good and how receiver will take it
g.use your best moral judgement because advice can be used for bad or good

[forgiving communication and relational consequences]

...

what were the various facts provided regarding forgiveness in relationships?

relational justice, positive for repair and recovery, etc

which forgiveness strategies are associated with the most and least relationship improvement after a transgression

least - humor, because it deflects serious pain felt by offended party
most-explicit acknowledgement/taking responsibility for acts

what were the recommendations offered regarding forgiveness practices of long term couples

acknowledge wrong doing, apologize sincerely , address emotion explicitly, request outside assistance, forgive and remember, use time to advantage, revisit communication rules, invoke spiritual values, use time to advantage

[verbal coercion to unwanted sexual intimacy]

...

in the intro of article, what were the various facts stated regarding sexual intimacy and coercion

1/3 of college women and 1/2 of college men have been the reluctant partner of unforced but unwanted sexual intercourse.

34 to 59 percent of women and 25 percent of men having yielded unwanted sexual intimacy because of verbal coercion

11 % of women and 13 % of men yielded to unwanted intercourse because of verbal cohercion

what is the most common general strategy used for verbally coercing someone into unwanted sexual intimacy

Guilt (most common), threat (terminating relationship) , saying "i love you"

what does the article suggest we all should become aware so that we are less likely to succumb to coercion messages

if partner believes coercion is not convincing or believable

[what counts as effective emotion support?]

...

what variables are involved in whether or not people are open to comforting messages?

demographics:gender, age, etc
psychological factors:personality traits, goal orientations, values
situational factors:how severe the problem is

what are the guidelines for providing support via a HPC (high person centered) way

explicitly recognize and legitamize the other person's feelings, help the other articulate those feelings, discuss the feelings, and relate feelings to broader stuff

[facework and nonverbal behavior in social support]

...

what facts were stated in the intro of the article regarding stress and supportive interactions

in a perfect world u would not need social support, but in reality u use social support to help close relational partners
supportive interactions:communication episodes involving a person experience distress

what were the various dilemmas discussed in the article regarding the effects on seekers and providers when advice is given.

seekers worried about - too needy, alienation of partner because of disclosure, feeling obliged to accept advice
providers worried - finding out what seeker wants, fear of support being rejected, feeling trapped into providing support

what is face work and the diff types of it?

facework is the social identity that people display , (designed to create, enhance, support identities)

fellowship:sense of belonging and acceptance. addressed through solidarity. positive - empathy and consideration. negative - small talk and exclusion

competence face: desire to have one's abilities viewed as competent and intelligent, be accepted for what one does. positive - express admiration. neg - ridicule disapproval

autonomy face:the need to avoid being imposed upon by others. freedom of choice. pos - sharing responsibility , neg - orders and obligations

what is involvement

degree to which a person is engaged during an interaction and uses immediacy, expressions, conversation management, and altercentricism

what were the suggestions provided for support seekers

discuss feelings to help partner understand
respect partner's autonomy
be involved/pleasant

[television viewing and relational maitenance]

...

key idea of article?

joint watching is important in connecting to each other

definition of relational maitenance

strategic and routine behaviors involved in keeping relationships at a desired level.

what behaviors are related to positivity?

cheerful, stressing commitments to future, courtesy, compliments, favors, affection expressions

what was said about television viewing and relationships?

can fill silence, establish sense of shared reality, create joint formulations of relationship, etc.