Relationships

Relationships

adultery definition

• when a married person has sexual intercourse with someone other than their spouse

divorce definition

bringing marriage to an end legally

cohabitation definition

an unmarried couple living together in a sexual relationship

commitment definition

making and keeping a promise, being devoted towards someone or something

contraception definition

intentionally preventing pregnancy from occurring

gender equality definition

people of all genders enjoying the same rights and opportunities in all aspects of their lives

responsibilities definition

actions you are expected to carry out; something you do out of a sense of duty or expectation to do it

roles definition

actions/duties you are expected to carry out

five types of families

• nuclear

• extended

• reconstituted

• single parent

• childless

what is a nuclear family

• two parents and one or more children living in the same household

• most common

what is an extended family

• number of adults and children related living in the same household

• includes many relatives living in close proximity

• e.g. cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents living and sharing family roles

what is a reconstituted family

• divorced adults choosing to remarry/live in cohabiting relationship

• made up of a mix of step-parents and step-children

what is a single parent family

• one parent raises one or more children alone

• due to divorce or separation

what is a childless family

• married/cohabiting couple either unable to have children or don’t want them

• same-sex couples

roles and responsibilities of family members

• caring for children

• caring for other relatives e.g. elderly

• maintaining the family home

• earning money to support the family

traditional views on family roles for men and women in all religions

• men= providing for family through working

• women= domestic life and children

• patriarchal; man leader of the family

what are four main roles of family for Christians

• parent and child relationships

• spiritual development

• family member duties

• protection and nurture

what do Christians believe about parent and child relationships with quotes

• “honour your father and mother”- one of 10 commandments; children should treat their parents with honour and respect and be obedient

• Christians believe children are a gift from God and that parents have responsibilities towards them

• “children, it is your Christian duty to obey your parents always, for that is what pleases God”
  “parents, do not irritate your children or they will become discouraged”

what responsibilities do Christian parents have for children

• caring for them properly

• teaching them how to live and to accept authority

• teaching them about God

• taking them to be baptised and promising to bring them up in a loving home

what do Christians believe about families and spiritual development

• Christian parents play a significant role in the process of spiritual development of children; opportunity to develop Christian worldview in the child

• teaching children to pray

• taking children to church

• sending children to church school or Sunday school

what do Christians believe about the duties of family members

• Christian marriage service stresses one of the reasons for getting married is so a couple can have children and bring them up in Christian faith

• husband/wife relationships should be strong

• “do not commit adultery”

• “men ought to love their wives”

what do Christians believe about families and protection and nurture

• Christian love sacrificial, which Jesus demonstrated by dying on the cross, parents and children are called to make sacrifices for each other

• family first place where children can find out about love, companionship and forgiveness

• parents can set Children a good example of how to live a Christian life

• families play an important role in the community by providing support for other families, care for the elderly and adopt children

• responsibility towards elderly family members especially important

• “if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever”

Muslim views on caring for the elderly

• Muslims treat elderly with dignity

• many consider it an honour and blessing from Allah to be able to look after elderly relatives and give them care with kindness, patients and respect; also a duty

Muslim views on family, parenting and children

• Muslim parents have a responsibility to care for their children physically and emotionally

• goal is for their children to grow into self-disciplined, independent adults; parents teach children right from wrong

• children expected to respect their parents; childs duties to its parents second only to its duties to Allah

• commandments from Quran and sayings of Muhammad talk about respect children should have for their parents

Muslim views on protection and nurturing in families

• many Muslims believe that family life foundation of human society providing a secure and nurturing environment for parents and growing children

• best place to pass on and develop human virtues like love, kindness, mercy and compassion is in a family

• family unit should encourage individuals to see themselves as part of wider community and should discourage anti-social behaviour

• many Muslims believe that these values not just for benefit of individual families, but also ummah

Muslim views on children and spiritual development in families

• mother at heart of Muslim family and responsible for teaching children about halal and haram in the home

• father responsible for taking children to the mosque

• Muslim children born into a state of fitrah, purity and awareness of God

• parents have responsibility of developing their spirituality

Muslim views on family as a whole

• family at heart of every Muslim community

• family life created by Allah to keep society together and Muslims should follow the example of Muhammad who was married and raised a family

• traditional Muslim family an extended one, usually including parents, children, grandparents and elderly relatives

• most Muslims believe extended families mean greater stability, continuity, love and support for each other

what do humanist marriage ceremonies reflect

importance of the nature of marriage and significance for the couple

no religious aspect

Christian views on importance of marriage

• sacrament where man and wife joined together to be one in eyes of God

• high value on marriage as joining of man and women meant to reflect the union of Jesus and his followers

• Jesus taught that Gods purpose was marriage and should be lifelong and intimate

• church recognises three reasons for marriage

• shouldn’t divorce

what is a sacrament

outward sign of a blessing from God

what are the three reasons the church recognises for marriage

• couples mutual help and relationship

• right relationship for physical intimacy

• procreation of children

quotes for Christian views on marriage

• “the two shall become one flesh”- when married you become one person; interlinked by God

• “God is love and those who live in love live in union with God and God lives in union with them”
  “no human being must then separate that which God has joined together”

Christian vows and their meanings

• till death do us part- the marriage is permanent

• all that I am I share with you- everything I think, feel and my true character I share with you; completely open with one another

• for better for worse, for richer for poorer- marriage may have good and bad patches, but we sill stay together

• forsaking all others- no affairs

• to love and to cherish- to care greatly fore and look after especially carefully

• according to Gods holy law- solemn binding commitment

• and this is my solemn vow- fully mean what I am saying

four symbolic actions in Christian weddings and their meanings

• white dress- worn by wife to show her sexual purity; men not expected to wear white

• ring- visible symbol to show that a couple are married and committed to each other and want everyone else to know this too

• confetting- used to be rice which would fall on the ground and sprout symbolising the hope that children will come from the marriage

• lifting the veil- barrier between the two has been removed and they become one

what happens in a Christian wedding ceremony

• declarations= couple make their promises in front of God that they will love, comfort, honour and protect their partner as long as they both live

• prayers= said for couple and may include prayer for gift of children

• readings and sermons= some readings from Bible and minister gives sermon

• vows

• priest then welcomes congregation and reads what Christians believe in marriage

• signing of the register= legal requirement to be married

• ring exchange

• proclamations= priest tells couple they are now husband and wife

teachings of a marriage ceremony

• procreation

• union; loving partnership of living together

• rearing children

• pattern for society

• one flesh

• sacred

• eternal

• PURPOSE ACRONYM

name of a Muslim marriage ceremony

• nikah; simple marriage ceremony

• also a separate legal ceremony

stages of a Muslim wedding

• womans guarding in marriage offers the bride to groom

• must be two witnesses who have attained adulthood and are good Muslims

• payment of the mahr by groom to bride

• marriage contract signed by bride and groom and witnesses so consent

• sermon given to bless marriage

• vows not necessary but may be exchanged

• ends with prayers for bride and groom, their families and the ummah

• walima held by groom after nikah

what is mahr

dowry

what is walima

wedding banquet held by groom after the nikah to share in happiness and give thanks to God

stages of Jewish marriage

• bedeken

• ketubah signing

• chuppah

• seven blessings

• breaking of glass

• yichud

what is bedekend

• before ceremony, groom approaches bride for veiling

• looks at her and then veils her face, signifying his love for her is for her inner beauty and that the two are distinct individuals even after marriage

what is a ketubah

• Jewish prenuptial signing agreement that outlines grooms responsibilities to keep his bride, such as the conditions he will provide, brides protections and rights and framework for divorce

• aren’t religious documents but part of Jewish civil law

• signed by couple and read in ceremony

what is chuppah

• altar beneath which the couple exchanges vows

• both grooms parents walk him down the aisle to chuppah and then bride and parents follow

• has four corners and covered roof symbolising the new home

• four posts of chuppah held up by friends or family to symbolise the support of the life the couple is building together

what are the seven blessings

• often read in both Hebrew and English

• focus on joy, celebration and power of love

• begin with the blessing over a cup of wine, then progress to more grand celebratory statements, ending with a blessing of joy, peace, companionship and opportunity for the bride and groom to rejoice together

what is the breaking of the glass

• as ceremony comes to an end, groom or both bride and groom invited to step on a glass inside a cloth bag to shatter it

what is yichud

• following ceremony, couples spend approx 18 mins in yichud (seclusion)

• allows newly married couple to reflect privately on their new relationship and allows them precious time alone to bond and rejoice

why are some religions against interfaith marriage

• might feel that such important area of your life as beliefs need to be compatible with someone you’re committing to for life

• can keep traditions more easily

• where will marriage take place if interfaith

• in Catholic tradition the partner who isn’t catholic must agree that any children be brought up as catholic

• orthodox Jews can only marry each other in the synagogue

• marring out can be seen as worry for some Jews where the mother has to be Jewish for the children to be seen as Jewish

issues raised by interfaith marriages

• different expectations about gender roles

• which festivals to be celebrated

• which religion for children to be raised

• what if families refuse to accept the marriage

• what if they have different beliefs about moral issues like abortion

• what dietary laws be followed in the home

benefits of interfaith marriage

• more diverse family life

• all festivals could be celebrated

• could be raised in both religions until child makes their own decision

• marriage between the couple not the family

• more discussion about moral views and respectful of each others beliefs

• lots of different food choices

three types of marriage

• arrange marriage

• assisted marriage

• forced marriage

what is arranged marriage

• parents or guardians select, then individuals are consulted, who consider and consent and each individual has power to refuse

• sometimes individuals meet in family setting or privately before engagement

what is assisted marriage

individuals select, then parents or guardians are consulted, who consider and consent and parents have power to refuse

what is forced marriage

• parents or guardians select, the individuals are neither consulted nor have any say before the marriage

• not legal and not allowed in Islam

reasons FOR arranged marriage

• marriages based on romance likely to fail

• parents arranged the marriage to more likely to support you if things go wrong

• very low divorce rate in arranged marriages

• takes away pressure of having to find suitable partner for yourself

• nobody forced to marry someone if they don’t want to and still have a choice

• parents know the kind of person that would make a good partner for their child

• evidence shows love often grows in arranged marriages even if no love to start

reasons AGAINST arranged marriage

• individuals have free will and should have right to make own decisions and own mistakes

• can’t decide who to fall in love with so shouldn’t try to stop this

• divorce rate doesn’t mean anything due to pressure on unhappy couples to stay together

• parents may be more concerned for their own interests such as marrying into a wealthy family than the happiness of their child

• domestic violence more likely to stay hidden in arranged marriage

• how well do parents really know their children

• arranged marriages not based on love so how could spend whole life with someone you don’t love

chastity definition

not having sexual intercourse until after marriage

celibacy definition

a vow not having sexual intercourse for a period of time, possibly for life

promiscuity definition

having several sexual partners, possibly at the same time, one night stands etc

three reasons why attitudes to sex outside of marriage have been changing

• media- often promoting sex and sometimes promiscuity e.g. Love Island

• contraception developed; reliable and will protect from pregnancy and disease and also readily available and can be free in the UK

• rise in secularism, atheism and religious liberalism- traditional teachings not followed by as many people

general religious teachings bout sex

• sex considered a gift from God and part of His creation

• enables continuation of human race (procreation)

• physical expression of love

• “unitive and creative”

• promiscuity and adultery wrong and sex should be within commitment

• fidelity important for good upbringing of children

why is promiscuity rejected by all three religion

• lacks commitment and love in a relationship

• may lead to unwanted pregnancies and STI’s

religious views about adultery

• rejected in all religions

• ruins commitment and fidelity within a marriage or relationship and a betrayal of trust

• within religion it also breaks the commitment made in front of God and taints the sanctity

Christian attitudes about sex outside of marriage

• many believe it is wrong and even cohabitation referred to as “living in sin”

• “must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity”

• “don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit”

reasons for Christian view that sex outside of marriage is wrong

• teachings in the Bible

• marriage and sex unitive and creative so must go together

• marriage best place to bring up children

Christian views on chastity- traditional and modern, and how to show chastity

• traditionally, a person would remain chaste until marriage and was the norm

• modern society= no longer norm but some still choose to practice

• some choose to show their chastity by wearing a purity ring, which will then be replaced by a wedding ring

Christian views on celibacy; who does this in Christianity and other religions do/don’t and why

• monks and nuns take a vow of celibacy as a positive lifestyle choice to dedicate their life solely to the service of God

• does not happen in Judaism or Islam as they teach that adults should marry and have a companion in life

Christian attitudes on adultery and quotes

• frowned upon and not accepted

• one of ten commandments is “do not commit adultery”

• marriage vow also states “be faithful to them”

CofE view on cohabitation

• “something to celebrate”

• cohabiting couples should be welcomed into the church as long as they were fully committed to each other and should marry before starting a family

Methodist and Quaker view on cohabitation

• welcome it as a step along the way to fuller commitment

Muslims views about sex outside of marriage

• majority believe sex before marriage and cohabitation are banned

• sex only permitted between husband and wife so sex before marriage thought of in the same way as adultery

• men and women kept separate from puberty to marriage to reduce risk

• sex before marriage forbidden

Islam quotes about sex outside of marriage

• £stay away from committing obscenities”

• “guard your chastity”

• “do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way”

Muslim attitudes on sex outside of marriage

• teaches its wrong

• “do not go anywhere near adultery, it is an outrage and an evil path”

non religious attitudes for sex outside of marriage

• offers a chance to see if couples are sexually compatible

• sex natural and enjoyable

• can lead to marriage

non-religious attitudes against sex outside of marriage

• baby can be born into an unstable relationship

• can lead to selfish and casual attitudes towards relationships

• leads to the spread of sin

remarriage definition

the marriage of two single people with one or both of whom may have been divorced or widowed in a previous marriage

Catholic attitudes about divorce and remarriage

• doesn’t recognise civil divorce

• couple may legally be divorced but permanently married according to catholic church

• means that if one of the couple that wishes to marry in church has been divorced then they cannot be remarried in the church

• to remarry would be equivalent of committing adultery

• if one of couple wishing to marry had previous marriage annulled then could marry in catholic church as first marriage thought to never have happened

• do not allow divorce as Jesus taught divorce was wrong “anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her”

• couple have made a contract with God in sacrament of marriage

• in some cases annulment allowed

what is annulment

a declaration that a valid marriage never existed as it was a forced marriage or no sex had happened

Anglican attitudes about divorce and remarriage

• 2002 General Synod of CofE in historic vote agreed a way forward on remarriage

• “marriage should always be undertaken as a solemn, public and life-long covenant between a man and a woman”

• some marriages regrettably do fail and the church cares for couples in that situation

• there are exceptional circumstances in which divorced person may be married in church during lifetime of a former spouse

• recognise that the decision as to whether or not to solemnise such a marriage in church after divorce is the minister used in the marriage

protestant attitudes about divorce and remarriage

• think divorce is wrong but allow it if the marriage has broken down “less of two evils”

• most churches allow divorced people to remarry but usually require them to talk to a vicar as to why their marriage failed

• couple may be expected to show they are sorry and repentant about failure of their first marriage and to promise for a better next one

• “possibility of new relationships and new marriage is to be welcomed”

• allow divorce as Jesus taught it is allowed for partners in adultery

• better to divorce than live in hatred

• Christianity about forgiveness and second chances and if marriage broken and new relationship possible then it is the most loving option

overall reasons why some Christians allow divorce

• breakdown- cannot be repaired

• last resort- tried to be reconciled with each other

• most loving option- Jesus taught love and forgiveness

• Jesus allowed it- in cases of adultery

reasons why some Christians don’t allow divorce

• vow “till death do us part”

• God joins them in sacrament; God involved in relationship therefore cannot break as its breaking relationship with God too

• Jesus didn’t allow it unless for adultery

Muslim attitudes about divorce

• not encouraged but most Muslims agree it is permitted if a marriage has broken down and generally permitted to remarry if they wish

• Shariah Law permits divorce but in Hadith, reported that Muhammad said “the most detestable of lawful things before Allah is divorce”

• means many Muslims who experience marital difficulties will try to resolve their issues; also because they have made contract before God to remain together for life and divorce breaks this

• means a couple can go to their mosque for advice and support from the imam if they are experiencing marital problems

who in Islam can help a couple if they are struggling

• imam and mosque

• extended family

what is the divorce process in Islam

• family and ummah should help the couple to reconcile but if this not possible, divorce accepted as last resort

• husband states in front of witnesses on three separate occasions that marriage is over

• period of three months begins where the couple stay in the same house but are not in a sexual relationship

• if after this time if the couple still want divorce, then the wife is given her part of the dowry back and both must still be kind to one another

difference between sunni and shia divorce process

• sunni- do not require witnesses; husband must express his desire for divorce on three separate occasions with waiting period of three months

• shia- require two witnesses, followed by a waiting period before a marriage can end

• shia- if woman initiates then must be a waiting period for woman to ensure she isn’t pregnant

what is the name of the three month waiting period

iddah

what is the name of the waiting period if woman initiating divorce

khula

what does a divorced Jew need to divorce

a get

what is the problem with Jewish divorce for women

only the man can give the get, so he can withhold it and stop his wife from remarrying and making her a chained woman

name for a chained woman

agunot

what do liberal Jews think about divorce

recognise civil divorce as completely dissolving marriage; second marriage not seen any differently than the first when it comes to rituals and traditions

what happens if a woman doesn’t have the get

• without it she can’t marry another Jew as in Jewish law she is still married

• any relationship she will be in is regarded as adulterous and any children born as result illegitimate

reform Judaism view on divorce

the Bet Din gives the woman a document which allows her to remarry

contraception definition

any method that tries to prevent fertilisation

what are the two types of contraception and what do they mean

• artificial= methods that prevent conception during sex

• natural= avoid conception by avoiding sex at certain times

barrier method definition and example

• physically stop implantation

• condom

example of artificial contraception

• condoms

• pill

• IUD

examples of natural contraception

• natural family planning