were drinking tonight

cue we study death

We orchestrate its celebration

cue mortuary school students. were here

just in case

moose scouts opens

Okay campers! I hope you’re ready for another exciting day of camp activities! As you all know, counselor Lizzie sprained her ankle playing freeze tag, so we needed to make some last minute arrangements for your group.

Cue no youre going to die screaming

What he means is… it’s very important to leave wildlife alone when you see it in its natural habitat. However, i think its very unlikely that any creature will go out of its way to find you. 

cue : When the moose catches you, and it will catch you. you will either attempt to escape or fight back. HE HANDS THEM SWORDS.

Moccasin Joe, you can NOT hand weapons to children.

Cue: When you see the moose… tell him he’ll never lay his vile hooves on Moccasin Joe. OR Tell the moose I say hello. 

… Let’s just make friendship bracelets. 

Cue: is your dog here?

Well yes, he lives here… and hes a dog

cue: you really shouldn’t make jokes like that

is this supposed to be funny? 

cue: A mutt? he’s a pure bread pomeranean

and he’s a dog! this is ridiculous

Cue: Wow, so you think it’s okay because he’s a dog? Are you even a feminist

are you serious? you clearly made this whole thing up thinking it would be a funny prank. I hope you’re happy with yourself using fluff for your insensitive joke. 

cue: All night. TURN OFF THE TV

Why are they even accusing my dog of being in the files? There’s no way they can prove that!

Cue: come on guys, that can be any island.

photo switch

what? thats not even him. that could be any pomeranean.

screen zooms on name tag

lots of dogs have that name, this photo isnt exactly damning.

cue God their alliteration is good

how is this happening? theyre framing an innocent dog!

Cue: I havent seen him all day

you didn’t feed our dog?

cue: I guess we’ll have to see if his bark is worse than his 

Enough with the fucking dog expressions!! This is serious. 

Cue Paws and whiskers, fluff.

OH GOD! I can’t believe it! I can’t believe hes gone!

Cue: is your cat here?

NO!