textbook chapter 11

Achieving sexual maturity

• Becoming responsible about sex

• Developing a capacity for intimacy

• Identifying sexual likes and dislikes

• Figuring out sexual orientation

Partnered persons

• in sexless relationship

• Usually had included sex but frequency declined

Singles scene

• Singles apartment complexes, bars, fitness centres

satisfaction

Engaged individuals report higher sexual satisfaction, no difference in FWB and marriage

Living apart together

• Unmarried people who live separately but are a couple 

Cohabitation

• Canada rates are higher than the US

• Break up more often than marriages

• 44% had children 

• Divorced people usually choose this 

• More vaginal intercourse

Marital sexuality

• Sharp decline in frequency after the first year and steady decline after

Sexual activities in marital sex

• Vaginal intercourse

• Basic (kissing, cuddling, stroking intercourse)

• Basic and oral sex

• Basic and oral sex and masturbation

  • Average time is 20 mins 

Communicating about sex

• Clinical: coitus, cunnilngus, fellatio

  • Least used 

• Erotic: intercourse, have sex, oral sex

• Slang: fuck, blow job

• People mostly use a direct verbal statement to initiate sex

  • Second most is kissing without saying anything 

  • Men initiate more

Marital quality

• For wives, sexual satisfaction didnt matter but the husbands positive behaviours mattered

• For men, sexual satisfaction and behaviour mattered

Sexual patterns in marriage

• When positive affect toward spouse was high, lust was high and opposite was true

• High closeness to spouse made the link between positive affect and lust stronger

• Positive association between own lust and partners lust

Infidelity

• High narcissism and impulsiveness contribute to this

Mate retention: ways to keep mate

• Straight Men: money

• Women: monopolizing time, threats, saying rude things about other girls, enhancing appearance

• Gay men: money

• Gay women: money

Extra relationship sex

• Long term relationship cheating

• 21% of men and 13% of women 

• With close personal friend, neighbour, co worker, acquaintance 

• 8%did it for pay

• Highest in quebec

• Being high on sexual excitation and low on sexual inhibtiion 

• Dissatisfaction with the relationship 

• Pesons sense of power and their belief that they could seduce someone

Internet infidelity

•  two peoples avatars engage in sexual activiy in virtual reality

• People dissatisfied with their marriages will do this

TMSI

technology mediated sexual interactions

Equity theory and extra relationship sex

• In a relationship, people mentally tabulate their inputs to it and what they get out of it (benefits or rewards) and then they calculate whether these are equitable or not

• inequity causes distress and cause extra relationship sex

Nonmonogoamous relationship

• Six reasons themes for why people have this sort of relationship

  • Wanting autonomy over their own body

  • Feeling this fits best with their values

  • Creating a community of like mininded people

  • Exploring sexualityexperience personal growth

  • Practcial reasons related to lifestyle

Swinging

• Closed swinging: pairs go off separately

• Open swinging: same room

• Soft swining: watching other couple engage and sometimes participating lightly 

• Emotional attachment to other couples is forbidden 

Polyamory

• Loving multiple people simultenoiusly 

• Emphasis on honestly openness and long term relationship

Consequences of nonmonogamous relationships

• Spouse who was having affair wanted divorce more

Post relationship sex

• Most divorced women but fewer widowed women return to an active sex life

• Widows are older than divorced women but still

• Parents of children under 5 reported greater frequency of sexual activity and first dates

• Men with custody of children report higher rates of new partner

• Same for men and women with low income

Sexuality and menopause

• Becomes less acidic, more vulnerable to infections

• Walls of vagina become thin and inelastic

• Vagina and labia majora shrink

• Decline in vaginal lubrication

• Most continue after menopause

• Some decline in function

• Estrogen is related to dysfunction

• Testosterone is important for desire

Hysterectomy

• Doesnt change womens sex live

• Ovary removing can but androgen therapy can help

Changes in men

• Andropause: declining levels of androgens

• Prostatectomhy can decrease volume of ejaculate and cause damage to nerves supplying the penis

• Radiation in prostate cancer can cause erectile dysfunction

Old men

• Sexual behaviour of older adults is related to cultural expectations

• We have a youth oriented culture so old people having sex is weird

• Women who perceived themselves as more attractive had increase in sexual desire and everything 

• Could be because we still hold on to idea that sex is for reproduction

Old and sex

• More older women than men because of their mortality rate

• Lesbians dont face same problem 

• More older women than men over 60 said that sex didnt interest them anymore