Act2 Scene3

SEYMOUR: I can't take it! Stop squalling! You're driving me crazy! Just shut up, will ya? For God's sake, shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Seymour! What’s the matter with you?

SEYMOUR: It’s the matter with me! Don't you think I know it needs food? Don't you think I know it'll die if I don't feed it and soon?

Don't you think I'm trying to think of some way... something.. someone...

Seymour—

(dainty slap)

You're hysterical.

What's the big deal about a little plantfood? I think running this place all by yourself is too much for you. When did Mr. Mushnik say he'd be back?

SEYMOUR: Huh?

You know, in that note you told me he left you? The one that said he was going out to his sister's house in...

SEYMOUR: Czechoslovakia. Right. He could be gone a very long time.

Audrey... could I ask you something?

Anything.

SEYMOUR: Well, just suppose for a minute there'd never even been an Audrey Two. That I was just a nothing again, a nobody. Would you still like me?

I'd still love you, Seymour.

SEYMOUR: Then it's settled.

What's settled?

A gun!

SEYMOUR: And bullets... and rat poison... and a machete. Tomorrow morning... right after Life Magazine takes our picture— you know who bites the dust!

Seymour!

SEYMOUR: Right. They’ll snap the photo, we'll be famous, I'll take that T.V. job, and we'll live a nice, quiet, normal life together. No more night feedings. No more squalling for blood!

What feedings? What blood? I don't get it, Seymour. Bullets, knives, rat poison.

You're scaring me.

SEYMOUR: There's nothing to be scared of.

We'll go away from here. I'll take you to that little development you always dreamed about and once we're there we'll live happily ever after, I promise.

Nice little house, nice little car...

(beat)

And no plants. No plants at all.

You're talking so peculiar, Seymour.

SEYMOUR: I'll explain everything to you tomorrow. Just go home now, Audrey. Please.

I can't leave you in this condition.

Done. Fine. Great. And don't think you're getting dessert.

(SOMINEX STARTS)

AUDREY 2: HEY, LITTLE LADY, HELLO.

Who… who said that?

AUDREY 2: YOU LOOKIN' CUTE AS CAN BE.

Is somebody in there?

AUDREY 2: YOU LOOKIN MIGHTY SWEET!

Seymour? Seymour?

AUDREY 2: NO IT AINT SEYMOUR —

IT'S ME.

Oh my god!

AUDREY 2: YOUR FRIENDLY AUDREY TWO!

THIS PLANT IS TALKING…

TO YOU.

I don't believe it.

AUDREY 2: Believe it baby, it talks.

Am I dreaming this?

AUDREY 2: No. And you ain't in Kansas, neither.

Somethings very wrong here.

AUDREY 2: Relax and go with it, doll. Do me a favor, will ya sweetheart?

A favor?

AUDREY 2: I need me some water in the worst way.

Look at my branches. I'm a goner, honey.

COME ON AND GIMME A DRINK.

I don't know if I should.

AUDREY 2: HEY LITTLE LADY, BE NICE.

You just want water, right?

AUDREY 2: SURE DO, I'LL DRINK IT STRAIGHT.

Your branches are dry, poor thing.

AUDREY 2: DON'T NEED NO GLASS OR NO ICE.

I'll get the can.

AUDREY 2: DON'T NEED NO TWIST OF LIME!

Here you go.

AUDREY 2: AND NOW IT'S SUPPERTIME!

(i scream)

Relax, sweetheart, and It'll be easier. Come on, join your dentist friend and Mushnik.

They're right inside.

Help!

SEYMOUR: Audrey! No! Get offa her! Get offa her!

Audrey... are you alright?

Yes.

(collapse)

No.

SEYMOUR: Don't die, Audrey. I need you. Please, please don't die.

You know, the plant just said the strangest thing just now. It said that Orin and Mr. Mushnik were already inside.

SEYMOUR: I's true, I did it. I fed them to it.

And that's what made it so big and strong and you so famous?

SEYMOUR: I've done terrible things. But not to you. Never to you.

But,

I want you to, Seymour.

SEYMOUR: What?

When I die—which should be very shortly—

(lyrically)

Give me to the plant, so it can live to bring you all the wonderful things you deserve.

SEYMOUR: You don't know what you're saying.

But I do.

It's the one gift I can give you.

And if I'm in the plant, then I'm part of the plant.

(beat)

So in a way... We'll always be... Together.

(STG REPRISE)