ps373 - communication

Couples spend about ____ a week in communication with one another!

14 hours!

Interpersonal gaps

occur when a sender’s intention differs from what the recipient perceives, leading to misunderstandings

The _____ and _____ of a couple’s communications predict their _______

sensitivity; accuracy; relationship well-being

Functions of nonverbal behaviour in relationships

1. providing information

2. regulating interaction

3. defining relationships

4. interpersonal influence

5. impression management

Components of nonverbal communication

1. facial expression

2. the eyes and gazing behaviour

3. body movements and posture

4. touch

5. interpersonal distance

6. smell

7. paralanguage

display rules

cultural norms that dictate what emotions are appropriate in particular situations

4 ways we modify our expressions of emotion to follow display rules

1. intensify our expressions

2. minimize expressions

3. neutralize our expressions

4. mask our real feelings

visual dominance ration (VDR)

dividing the percentage of time the person looks into another person's eyes while speaking by the percentage of time he/she looks into another person's eyes while listening

Zones interpersonal distance

1. intimate

2. personal

3. social

4. public

intimate zone

extends out from the front of our chests about a foot-and-a-half

personal zone

ranges from 1½ to 4 feet away from us — friends are likely to interact at smaller distances and acquaintances at larger ones

social zone

(4 to 12 feet), interactions tend to be more businesslike

public zone

Beyond 12 feet, interactions tend to be quite formal — used for structured interaction like that between an instructor and his or her students in a lecture class

paralanguage

how people say things — includes all the variations in a person’s voice other than the actual words he or she uses, such as rhythm, pitch, loudness, and rate

What is the difference between encoding and decoding?

Encoding: Sending intended message through behavior

Decoding: Interpreting a partner’s message.

What is self-disclosure?

Revealing personal information to others, which fosters intimacy.

What is the interpersonal process model of intimacy?

True intimacy involves:

Self-disclosure

Partner responding with understanding and validation

Disclosure deepens

What is the theory of social penetration?

Relationships develop through increasing breadth and depth of disclosure.

What is the concept of taboo topics?

Topics partners avoid discussing (e.g., past relationships, current concerns).

Negative communication styles

1. coercion

2. autocracy

3. manipulation

4. supplication

Coercive communication

• Derogate partner (criticize, belittle, insult)

• Threaten partner (i.e., withhold love)

• Display negative affect (anger, irritation)

• Accuse/blame partner

Autocratic communication

• Demand partner think, feel, behave a certain way

• Talk from position of authority

• Attempt to exert superiority

Manipulative communication

• Attempt to make partner feel guilty

• Remind them of your past favours and their past transgressions

• Appeal to partner’s love and concern

Supplication communication

• Express emotional hurt (tears, pouting)

• Debase self (portray self as less worth than partner)

• Emphasize negative consequences of situation for partner

Positive communication styles

1. rational reasoning

2. soft positive

Rational reasoning communication

• Use and seek factual/accurate information

• Use logic and rational arguments

• Explain behavior and point of view

Soft positive communication

• Soften persuasion attempts (i.e., minimize problem, point out partner’s strengths)

• Encourage partner to explain their point of view and validate!

Common miscommunication patterns

kitchen-sinking, off-beaming, mind reading, interruptions, yes-butting, cross-complaining

What is a kitchen-sinking conversation?

Bringing up multiple old issues at once during a conflict

What is off-beaming?

drifting from one topic to another without resolving the original issue

Mind reading

Assuming you know what your partner is thinking

Cross-complaining

Responding to complaints with another complaint instead of addressing the issue

What is the difference between I-statements and you-statements?

I-statements express personal feelings; you-statements often place blame

What is active listening?

Involves paraphrasing, perception checking, and showing empathy to improve understanding.

How can partners improve communication?

Practice self-disclosure, use I-statements, avoid the Four Horsemen, actively listen, and provide constructive feedback.

Gender differences in verbal communication

women = more likely to discuss emotions and relationships

men = more likely to focus on impersonal topics like sports and current events

traditional ‘macho men’ tend to…

limit intimacy outside of romantic relationships

Gender and Communication Noller Study

• investigate husband and wife’s abilities to encode and decode messages

• 48 married couples took turns encoding (sending) and decoding (interpreting) a message

Gender and Communication Noller Study - Encoding and Decoding Problems

Encoding problem = neither spouses nor strangers should be accurate

Decoding problem = spouses should be less accurate than observers

Gender and Communication Noller Study - Results

• wives were better encoders than husbands, especially when the messages were positive!

• men who did well in the task reported being in more satisfying marriages

Follow-up Noller Study

• Are encoding and decoding skill deficits generalized, or do they relate only to the marital partner?

• married people served as decoders for someone who was not their spouse

Follow-up Noller Study Results

• marital satisfaction and decoding abilities were unrelated

• dissatisfied couples show differences in performance, not skill

• those with low marital quality are worse at decoding their spouse than strangers!

empathetic accuracy

ability to correctly infer another person’s thoughts and emotions

What was the basic procedure in the Klein & Hodges (2001) study?

107 graduates (53 women, 54 men) watched a video of a woman discussing her GRE math score issue and completed an empathetic accuracy task.

What were the three experimental conditions (Klein & Hodges - 2001)?

1. Control – No special instructions.

2. Feedback – Told they'd receive feedback on their performance.

3. Money – Offered $2 for each correct response.

What did the study find about motivation and empathetic accuracy (Klein & Hodges - 2001)?

Feedback and money increased empathetic accuracy; incentives eliminated gender differences.

Attachment styles and communication

Secure individuals are more open and accurate in communication

Avoidant individuals disclose less and misinterpret emotions as hostile

Anxious individuals may overshare in an attempt to gain intimacy

Social penetration theory

Relationships develop through changes in communication

As relationships develop, (1) increase breadth, and (2) increase depth

Interpersonal process model of intimacy

• Just disclosing is not enough to build intimacy

  People must be responsive – understanding, validating, and caring

Skillful senders use what tactics?

behaviour description, I-statements, XYZ statements to focus on specific actions and make their feelings clear