Propaganda Section E

"This land is your land, this land is my land. From California to the New York Island. This land was made for you and me."

0 No Technique - song lyrics

Edgar is that boy who always answers the teacher's questions in class. Let's invite his sister, Elizabeth, to our party - we'll win the Trivial Pursuit game for sure.

5 Faulty Analogy

I know LSU will win its conference this year. Their defensive unit, won national recognition last year. Billy Cannon won the Heisman Trophy. The coach, Paul Dietzel, went on to fame and fortune. You should bet on LSU, too.

3 Selected Instances

We are here in Miami with a large group of people who speak a different language from us. They will probably steal our wallets if they have a chance.

8 Non Sequitur

I love to eat oranges. Celery always tastes great to me, and rice is one of my favorite foods. I think that I shall make a salad of all three. It will be delicious.

6 Composition

Every August my Uncle Frederick visits us here in Florida and my electric bill is the highest of any month in the year. I'm not going to let Uncle Frederick come this August. I need to save some money on my electric bill.

1 Concurrency

After our Regional Sales Manager visited us last time, three of our fork lifts broke down and two of our best workers became ill for a week. Please don't invite the manager to our place again. We can't stand another series of problems.

2 Post Hoc

We should bet on number 7 in the seventh race. 7 is my lucky number.

8 Non Sequitur

What do you mean, my questions are too hard? Last week most of the players got numbers 3, 7, and 9 right.

3 Selected Instances

After observing the garbage problem in New York City for one weekend, a tourist was heard to remark, "I guess all New Yorkers throw their garbage out of their windows!"

4 Hasty Generalization

After spending 45 minutes explaining the seasonal changes in the atmosphere, a teacher was asked the following question. "Mr. Smith, why has the fall dance been postponed?"

8 Non Sequitur

A student in a ballet class was overheard saying, "Mona's sister has enrolled in my ballet class. Mona was a complete klutz, and I'm sure her sister will be, too."

5 Faulty Analogy

Our academic games team was put together after many competitions. Only the very best students were selected. Surely our team will win the national championship.

6 Composition

Who was standing across the street from the school when it caught on fire? Jeff Lang. Who was on 4th Street when the bank on 5th Street was held up? Jane Lang. Those Langs must be bad luck!

1 Concurrency

My car stalled on the street the other day. Before I got going again, five cars passed by. Two were driven by adult males who swore at me. Another was driven by a woman who shouted, "You stupid idiot, why don't you learn how to drive?" The other two cars, driven by high school students, stopped and their young drivers offered assistance. This shows me that, contrary to all the talk you hear, students are a lot more decent than their parents.

4 Hasty Generalization

Jim, who's a real brain in school, plays Propaganda. Howard also plays Propaganda. I guess he's smart too.

5 Faulty Analogy

Your children deserve the best education. Send them to Nova.

8 Non Sequitur

"It's true that standing armies produce wars," said the professor. "Before every war in history there have been armed soldiers on both sides ready for combat."

2 Post Hoc

Earl Campbell and George Rogers are both excellent running backs. Our team should be unstoppable on the run.

6 Composition

Super Cuts only cuts hair. So we can cut your hair better.

8 Non Sequitur

Dr. Hargood selected a dozen Mars candy bars from the local store. His tests determined that six of those candy bars contained poison. He concluded that all Mars candy bars are potentially dangerous.

4 Hasty Generalization

McNuggett must be a very poor On-Sets player. His team is in last place in the division.

7 Division

Everyone I talked to at Tony's Bar is against Clinton. I'm sure he won't be reelected.

4 Hasty Generalization

A historian was a critic of the church. He argued that the church is the enemy of humanitarianism. "Consider the bloody crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, and the witch trials," he said.

3 Selected Instances

I greatly enjoyed Neil Simon's last movie. So you can be sure that his screenplay for California Suite will be just as good.

5 Faulty Analogy

No one on your school team is any good. I've seen Jones, Henshaw, and Riley. You can't get any worse.

4 Hasty Generalization

Tang is the breakfast drink that went to the Moon with the astronauts. Shouldn't you be buying your kids Tang?

8 Non Sequitur

"Teachers don't need more benefits," said the State Superintendent. "In California they have had a very respectable starting salary of $23,500, and in Kansas their retirement plan is second to none."

3 Selected Instances

Sweden, the United States, and Italy all have Republican forms of government. They would make a good International Trading Bloc.

5 Faulty Analogy

A student has taken two courses in college. He has found them to be very difficult and not very interesting. He decides to abandon his studies and leave school.

4 Hasty Generalization

Roosevelt was the president who started so many welfare programs and began pouring Federal dollars into the programs. Then segments of the American people began thinking the government owed them a living. That's why we have so many on welfare today.

2 Post Hoc

The students at that school are very unfriendly. The last time we played football there, someone threw a rock at the bus.

4 Hasty Generalization

Tom Barksome, a computer expert, said, "All home computers are junk. The Sinclair 1000 is worthless and the TRS-80 is trash."

3 Selected Instances

Alabama won the national championship in football this year. So it really doesn't matter which one of the Alabama players the Steelers are able to draft. They're sure to have an outstanding rookie.

7 Division

The new President of the university intends to satisfy the demands of the students, the faculty, the administrative staff, and the board of trustees. The result will be a much stronger university.

6 Composition

In the 1990s our country experienced high unemployment. Now we have a lowering of the inflation rate. Unemployment must have caused the lowering of inflation.

2 Post Hoc

Karen Balentine is a 38-year old first vice-president at E. F. Hutton and Company and one of the distinguished women in investment banking. Karen was a college student whose family offered to reimburse her if she shed her jeans for a more ladylike wardrobe. Her salary is somewhere in the vicinity of a quarter of a million dollars annually.

0 No Technique - not Post Hoc

Wholehog, a chemist, found a flaw in Plastic G-103, the first flaw he had seen from Company G. His recommendation was, "Do not purchase plastics from Company G."

4 Hasty Generalization

Lubonavia is a very powerful country. So is Helvania. Together they could conquer the world!

6 Composition

Lurch won the cross-country race Tuesday, then got an A on his biology test Wednesday. He just won again today. So I'm expecting him to get an A on his English test tomorrow.

2 Post Hoc

The pro-western rulers are on their way out in the Middle East. It's only a matter of time before the King of Saudi Arabia suffers the same fate as the Shah of Iran.

5 Faulty Analogy

Burglaries in our town are always more numerous when the University is in session. It's proves what I've said for a long time - that the university has a lot of undesirable characters.

1 Concurrency

First Jerry Rubin comes to Kent State to speak. Then in a day or two riots break out. He's at the bottom of it.

2 Post Hoc

Your family is weird. I met your sister, your father, and your cousin. They're all crazy.

3 Selected Instances

A survey comparing the attitudes of business executives and college students was set up by heavily weighting the group of executives to include top corporate heads. The survey picked students at random, not picking leaders at all except by chance. Based on the answers, the conclusion was drawn that students would work with the Establishment.

3 Selected Instances

Ronald Reagan became Governor of California and President after a successful acting career. Clint Eastwood has a big future in politics also.

5 Faulty Analogy

Last year the Advertising Association of America conducted a year-long advertising campaign in newspapers and magazines calling for forest fire prevention. The results are pretty satisfying, for this year the damage done by forest fires has been cut by 10% over last year.

2 Post Hoc

Non-smokers were found by one investigator to show greater social participation in organizations and to hold more offices than smokers. The investigator concluded that smoking was a cause of anti-social behavior.

1 Concurrency

The most rational way of considering the human race today is to see it as the crew of a spaceship on which all of us, with a remarkable combination of security and vulnerability, are making our pilgrimage through infinity. And just as some pilgrims get to Mecca and some do not, so some of the race will get to the cosmic goal and some will not.

5 Faulty Analogy

The revised program of General Education at Forehan University represents the work of a committee of seven distinguished faculty members. The product is, of course, equally distinguished.

6 Composition

Jim is a conservative. So I'm sure he'll favor conservation.

8 Non Sequitur

Amy won the Middle Division Equations championship last year as a seventh grader. This year as an eighth grader she should be one of the top players in Middle Division again.

0 No Technique - not Post Hoc or Faulty Analogy

I'm really excited. Carl lifted weights all last fall and he made the number 1 wrestling team. I've been lifting weights all this fall. So I know I'll make number 1 as well.

5 Faulty Analogy

Don't go to ECON-CAR. Let's rent from the Mertz agent. His agency is part of the best national chain.

7 Division

After the United States sent troops to Vietnam, the drug problem in this country increased considerably. This is just another effect of that evil war.

2 Post Hoc

After watching the Indians play five exhibition games, Hal said, "They're going to win the pennant this year."

4 Hasty Generalization

In 1969, man first reached the moon. The following winter was the worst ever for cold and snow. I suggest that further moon flights be discontinued until man can show that he can control his weather despite what he does to the moon.

2 Post Hoc

Because Miami has the top-rated team in the nation, I'm putting my money on quarterback Vinny Testaverde to win the coveted Heisman Trophy this year.

7 Division

Tom: "All blondes are dumb."
Jim: "How do you figure that?"
Tom: "Well, I've dated Jane and Terry and Kathy, and all three are dumb blondes."

4 Hasty Generalization

Did you know that President Hernandez has almost abolished crime in Urokay; President Mogambi has raised the Belibeeni national income 500%; Premier Pinski of Fingeria has cut his nation's unemployment to 1/2 of 1%. We ought to import all three to the U.S. They would form a fantastic cabinet and solve our national problems.

6 Composition

The Nick Daniloff hostage situation was occurring right during the time that the stock market took its worst nosedive in history. My pocketbook surely wishes that Daniloff was released a lot sooner. Those Russians really messed up our stock market.

1 Concurrency

The "gray market" for consumer goods in China must be very high because the IBM PC's offered for sale are brought into China under the gray market - models brought in without official permits from Washington. China, however, has a consumer market tightly controlled by its government.

3 Selected Instances

Both Jordan and Libya are located right in the heart of the Middle East. Libya is dead set against any alliance with Israel. How do you expect Jordan to support an alliance with Israel?

5 Faulty Analogy

Crack is one of the most dangerous drugs ever to hit the streets because it is so cheap and can kill anyone. Don't let your child be unaware of the dangers of crack. Ignorance could kill him.

0 No Technique - not Non Sequitur

I want my new home to be a real showcase of the very best in architectural harmony and elegance. Consequently I have instructed my architect to design it using the best features of Dutch Colonial, Georgia, and Ranch styles.

6 Composition

I think that Charles "the Jerk" Martin should be sidelined for as long a time as Jim McMahon is. After all, McMahon is out of action because of an injury suffered after an obviously illegal and deliberate body slam administered by Martin.

0 No Technique

Our schools showed a dramatic increase in math and reading scores in grades 1 to 3 last year. That new superintendent they hired a year ago from Timbuktu has done a super job.

2 Post Hoc

Ad: "Hobie Cat has invested $5 million in the last ten years in support of the Special Olympics. Imagine the quality of our earth movers!"

8 Non Sequitur

After studying our space program in detail, I find the United States using space for communications satellites, space laboratories, weather forecasting, and scientific research. How can anyone think the United States wants to militarize space?

3 Selected Instances

The Renegades have three of the top ten individuals in the final Propaganda standings. They must have won the team championship.

6 Composition

Look, Joan, I saw that white South African policeman beat up the black demonstrator. White South Africans are just prejudiced.

4 Hasty Generalization

While taking therapy from the hypnotist, five White Sox players batted 50 points above their lifetime batting averages. We should hire a hypnotist to help our team.

1 Concurrency

Danny plays for the Rock Eagle football team, the new state champions. So he must be a star.

7 Division

A political scientist recently noted that the two most impoverished and starving nations on the face of the Earth, Sudan and Ethiopia, are both communist regimes. He emphatically declared that starvation and poverty are natural consequences of a communist form of government.

3 Selected Instances

New Orleans Saints Bobby Hebert, Hokie Gajan, and Rickie Jackson are healthy and performing well. The Saints should win the division this year.

6 Composition

The Saints won all their pre-season games last year. Then they made the playoffs for the first time. Clearly it is good to get a winning start during the pre-season.

2 Post Hoc

The Patriots won the On-Sets competition. So they're the favorites to win Propaganda.

5 Faulty Analogy

Ever since Howard Baker took over as chief of staff of the White House, the president's popularity has gone straight down.

2 Post Hoc

Police officers, who carry guns, are almost always considered good decent people. I think I'll carry a gun, and then I'll have the respect they have.

5 Faulty Analogy

TV ad: "I love New York, but I love Miami more. We have what the world wants. This is where America's future is - Miami."

8 Non Sequitur

TV ad: "If you love ketchup and you love onions, you'll really love Heinz's new Ketchup and Onions."

6 Composition

The test scores of school children in the United States were highest when the Bible was taught in school. It is obvious that the removal of the Bible from the classroom has brought about the decline of education in America.

1 Concurrency

Jack graduated from Harvard and now earns over $150,000 a year. Mark graduated from Harvard and earns $200,000 a year. Joe Schmoe graduated from Harvard. so he must be earning in excess of $100,000 per year.

5 Faulty Analogy

America is the wealthiest nation in the history of the world. So it is absurd to say that poverty is a problem for America.

7 Division

McNuggets has a standing offer to hire all laid-off analysts and securities managers to work in their stores. "Anyone who has sold stock," said a vice-president, "can sell hamburgers. A grill is no different to work than a computer."

5 Faulty Analogy

In the fall of 1986, President Reagan campaigned in western and southern states for Republican candidates for the U.S. Senate. Then came the news of the Iran arms sales, the Contra diversion, the Wall Street crash, and the Persian Gulf confrontations - all bad news for Reagan. He should never have campaigned for those Senate seats.

2 Post Hoc

Say NO to drugs. This message has been brought to you by the makers of extra-strength Tymenol - the fastest relief possible for headache pain.

8 Non Sequitur

"The Democrats will never win the Presidency this year," remarked the chairman. "Paul Simon, Dick Gephardt, and Al Gore are much too weak to be president."

3 Selected Instances

Since all men are mortal, it follows that the human race must some day come to an end.

6 Composition

Felicia Rashad is a cinch to win an Emmy. After all, The Cosby Show won Emmys for three years in a row.

7 Division

Kent State University is an educational factory. Factories exist for profit. Profit means exploitation. So if you're a Kent State student, you're being exploited.

5 Faulty Analogy

Of course the Saints are having a winning season. Don't you remember that in September the Pope gave them his blessing?

2 Post Hoc

The two golf courses we played in Florida were absolutely gorgeous. Florida must have the most beautiful golf courses in the world.

4 Hasty Generalization

NBA coach speaking: "Every NBA team has a majority of black players. Some even start five black players. Blacks in the NBA are clearly superior. If we have to choose between cutting Murphy or Mount, we ought to keep Murphy, the black. He is certain to be better."

7 Division

Editorial from world famous newspaper: "The world is rapidly becoming a dangerous place. Witness the attempt to murder the pope. Witness the murders in San Rafael of a judge and three others in the courthouse. Witness the abduction and murder of the Quebec labor minister. There may be no safety soon."

3 Selected Instances

All ten men who came into the store today to buy cigarettes bought "Camels." That proves it - men prefer "Camels."

4 Hasty Generalization

I got inside the dorm and looked around. There was a couple making a nest on a sofa. There was a girl running around in a bikini. What kind of students does this university have? They're all wrapped up in sex.

4 Hasty Generalization

Four years ago, right after Denton took office, many human rights bills were passed. Now, since Ferguson was elected a month ago, our state is in bad financial trouble. We should have stuck with Denton.

2 Post Hoc

On three successive fishing trips, John wore his old battered felt hat and had amazingly good luck. On the fourth trip he didn't wear it and returned empty-handed. Now he won't think of going fishing without it.

1 Concurrency

TV ad: "In the recent NASCAR trials, Mox cars won big. Mox Sport Coupe won in Class VIII; Mox Compact won in Class II; Mox Sedan won in Class V. This is clear proof of Mox's superiority."

3 Selected Instances