Addams Family Morticia Lines

G: Come to me, my lovely wife-oh she of skin so flawless, eyes so black and dress so beautiful- and tell us what it is every Addams hopes for!

M: Darkness and Grief and unspeakable sorrow.

G: Oww!! Darn your Lighting reflexes. 

M: Gomez, Look.

G: Ugh! Flowers! Who would send something so tasteless?

M: “The Most precious gift there is, more goody-licious than gold, is that blessing we call friendship, whether new or very old.” 

G: Goody-licious? Who talks like this?

M: The Beinekes. Wednesday’s friend Lucas and his Parents. They’re coming for dinner tonight. 

G: Lucas?

M: Yes

G: But Lucas is a boy’s name. 

M: Yes

G: Wednesday has a friend who’s a boy.

M: It’s Nothing, darling. Puppy Love. Put these in water.

W: Mom, Dad, I shot dinner.

M: Oh, Wednesday, that’s lovely. Wherever did you find it?

W: Petting Zoo

M: Thank you, dear. Come Lurch— we’ll whip up something really special. And this time, we’ll actually cook it. Oh, Gomez— guests for dinner! Fresh meat!

G: Wednesday Growing up, she’ll be Thursday before you know it.

M: Somethings wrong with Wednesday

G: What do you mean?

M: She’s in the Kitchen Smiling. Like this. Maybe it is this boy.

G: Come, Darling I feel an urge to take you in my arms. 

M: Gomez.

G: She could even fall in love and get married. Like you did.

M: Don’t be ridiculous, Gomez. I’m much too young to have married daughter.

G: Of course. I didn’t think of that.

M: Besides, she’ll have lots of boys.

G: How do you know?

M: Because she’s my daughter

G: Yes, but what if - and I have no reason say this- what if she did meet someone who stole her heart? 

M: Don’t be silly. When that happens, I’ll be the first to know. Wednesday tells me everything. Just like you do. 

End of Gomez Singing: “Or tell the Truth to either one.”

M: Gomez, you do tell me everything, don’t you?

G: Of course!

M: Oh my, you’re perspiring.

G: What?

M: I hope you're not coming down with a case of… Liar’s Shingles.

G: No! No!

M: I think Wednesday and I should have a little chat. 

End of Pulled

M: I was right. It is the boy—

G: Yes, but I don’t think it’s such a big—

M: Puppy Dogs? Disney World? She’s in no state to entertain guests. We have to cancel the dinner.

G: No!

M: What?

G: I mean we can’t do that. 

M: Why?

G: Because then there won’t be a dinner.

M: Gomez- do you love your daughter? Do you care for her mental well-being?

G: Of course—

M: Do you want her to be put on heavy medication and spend the rest of her days hating us because we let her ruin her life?

G: There are four Things—

M: Gomez! Would you stop that!

G: I think we should have this dinner.

M: Why?

G: We need to introduce her to the world—

M: Are you out of your mind? Have you seen the world lately? Now Stop prattling and go tell her the dinner is off.

G: But Cara.

M: You’re the father. The Father is the canceller. And if after 25 years of marriage you can’t do this one thing for me, then I just don’t know what!

W: We’ll have dinner and they can be back at their hotel by nine thirty.

M: Wednesday, your father has something to tell you.

W: Thank you, daddy!

M: Well, it seems I’ve been outvoted.

So, dinner it is.

Drinks, dinner, and then, The game.

W: Oh God please no! Not the Game. 

M: But it’s a Family tradition. 

W: It’s my dinner!

M: But it’s my house, darling. Dinner, and the Game.

G: Define Normal. Shhh.

M: Normal is an illusion, darling. What’s normal for the spider is a calamity for the fly.

G: The love of my life— Morticia!

M: Sorry I’m late I was putting the apple pie on the windowsill to cool. 

G: That’s my little woman. A Duchess in the Parlor and a genius in the kitchen.

M: Oh, Gomez!

M: Oh Gomez!

M: So very pleased. Mr. Beineke. 

MAL: Mrs. Addams

M: Mrs. Beineke

A: Alice.

M: Alice. And you must be Lucas. What a lovely name. 

Mal: They don’t need to know that!

M: No, no. It’s a beautiful story. Wednesday has a cousin who swallowed his tongue. Hes tolk lak dis… :Hello, how are you?

W: Hi, I’m Wednesday.

M: What, are you wearing?

W: A dress

M: A yellow dress.

G: Paloma, what happ