IFS Module 1

8 C’S OF SELF LEADERSHIP

The CALM in me is where I start. This naturally leads to COMPASSION. When I am compassionate, I feel CONNECTED. When I am connected, I feel CONFIDENT. When I am CONFIDENT, I feel CLARITY. When I am clear, I feel CREATIVE. When I am creative, I feel CURIOUS. When I am curious, I feel COURAGOUS.

CALM

CURIOUS

CREATIVE

COMPASSIONATE

COURAGEOUS

CONFIDENT

CLARITY

CONNECTED

WHAT ARE THE 4 GOALS OF IFS

1) Help parts out of extreme roles so they can be who they’re designed to be

2) Help parts trust Self as a talented and trustworthy leader

3) Help parts harmonize with each other and work together in both the inner and outer world

4) Become Self-Led in the outer world

EXILES

Parts that hold the pain for the wounds

protector

Try to keep us from feeling the pain and hurt again

2 types of protectors

Managers and Firefighters

Manager

Type of protector, try to organize the world in a way so we never get hurt again

Firefighter

Type of protector, Suppress and push pain away to keep us from feeling it

Respond immediately to the pain that our managers can’t see or predict

Motto of Managers

“Never Again”

Common traits of managers

Hard Working

Dedicated

Dependable

Risk adverse

Believe they have the right answer for every situation

Common types of managers

Perfectionists

Organizers

Judge/critic

Caregivers

Problem scanners

Intellectual

No matter how skilled the manager is, the exile will still be ____

activated

Self can’t be ____ and knows how to _____-

Damaged/Heal

4 Intentions of Firefighters

Numb

Soothe

Distract

Dissociate

4 Common Strategies of Firefighters

Retail Therapy

Addictions

Numbing through social media

Self harm

3 types of pain that Exiles hold

Trauma

Attachment Injury

Societal Impacts

By nature, exiles are what?

Fun loving

Playful

Creative

Love intimacy

Sensitive

Our wisest parts

Traits of exiles

Young

Vulnerable

Stuck in time at the moment of the initial wounding

Want to tell their story

Want to be healed/redeemed

Mistaken thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and energies that these parts take one as a result of the wounding (10)

Worthless

Unlovable

Shameful

Alone/isolated

Powerless

Helpless

Hopeless

Empty

Frozen

Disconnected

What are 5 basic assumptions of Self

1. Self is present in everyone at birth—it is not a part

2. Self is a felt sense or embodied state of being—it is not intellect

3. Self is the source of healing

4. Self can be both passive and active

5. Self cannot be damaged by trauma

5 P’s of the Self Led Therapist

1. Presence

2. Patience

3. Perspective

4. Persistence

5. Playfulness

Metaphor for Self and Parts using sun and clouds

Self is like the sun and the parts are the clouds

Even when the sun is covered by clouds we know it is still there

Blending vs Unblending

When we are blended, we experience the world through that part. There is no awareness of the Self.

When we can unblend, there is separation/differentiation b/w a part and Self-but still connected. This creates the possibility of the relationship between part and Self.